To Hell And Back
by Hopeblossom
Summary: Kagami Hiiragi has been in an accident. She died in a fire. But She is saved. Her brain has been put into someone elses body. What will her friends think of her now? And when Kagami makes a drastic desicion, what will be the after effect? Please review.
1. Waking Up

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Oh my God. Where am I…? And why can't I feel anything…? Didn't I just….die? I can remember it, the flames burning the house and the smell of my body burning….I don't want to remember anymore. I died. And this can't be heaven. Because I seriously doubt that heaven smells of disinfectant and chemicals. Unless God's a surgeon.

"Honey!"

I try to open my eyes but it feels like there clamped down or glued shut. I try to move my head a little but that also feels strangely heavy. My head is hurting.

"Don't try to move Kagami."

The voice is lower than the last one, a man. I think it's my Mum and Dad. Someone touches my eyes and they slowly, slowly open. For a second, everything is blurry. Then my vision clears and I can see things and people. I am in a hospital, dull white walls and a wooden chair. Mum is sat on my right side - well the right side of the bed - stroking my hand. I can't feel her gentle touch. Dad is sat on the other side, looking happy. He's grinning broadly.

I try to talk but my throat is dry and my attempts at speech come across as strange low pitched croaks. A man is in the room, a doctor. He has grey hair and a receding hair line. He's wearing square, brown glasses which make his dark brown eyes seem dull.

He hands me a pen and paper and nods, telling me to write what I think, if I have the strength. I quickly scribble down some words, but I can't feel the pen in my hand. I can't feel anything.

_I'm __**DEAD**__!!!_

Dad frowns as Mum wipes her eyes. Whatever has happened it's upsetting them. Nobody speaks for a few seconds. The doctor smiles at me and begins an explanation.

"Well Kagami, you have had a terrible accident. And yes, you were technically dead for a few hours."

A few hours? He makes it sound normal.

"But, thanks to new research, your alive. As you can see. But unfortunately, you've changed. To make you alive we've had to move your brain from your old damaged body to a new one."

What!? So what he's saying is that I'm….not me anymore. They've taken away my identity!

_What do I look like???_

I scribble down furiously. They've changed me. I'm starting to wonder how they even got the body in the first place…

My mother looks on the verge of tears. I didn't mean to upset her. I really didn't. The doctor hands me a small handheld mirror.

I can't recognise myself…That's not right. My hair is no longer lavender but more dark purple, more like a mix of my old hair and Mum's. My eyes are a few shades darker. They look dead. No twinkle of life or hope or anything. My eyebrows look like someone has quickly sketched them on before surgery. My face is also more rounded. I try to speak again but all that comes out is a few violent coughs. I slowly realize something. U won't have my old voice anymore.

_When can I speak?_

"A few days most probably. You're a strong girl Kagami. You'll soon be able to walk and talk and be yourself again.

_But I won't be myself, not in this body…_

Mum nearly begins to cry. Dad pets her gently, as if to say it's not your fault. Of course it's not her fault. It's mine for dieing. Somebody was cooking….I can't remember who. It started to go wrong. It began to burn. Just like my arms and legs and face and hair. This isn't me. I am not Kagami Hiiragi.

* * *

Mum and dad have left now. So has the doctor. Just me, and my body. My new body. I wonder who this person was. How will Tsukasa react when she see's me. It's not the same. Like i've been disconnected from my twin for the first time. Nobody will ask if we're twins anymore. What if she hates me now? I hope she's ok. And Konata. And Miyuki. Miyuki's clever, what is she questions the surgery or what's happened. And Konata might treat me like a Sci-fi character from one of her stupid games. This is all so new and worrying.

Kagami Hiiragi is dead. Techinacally. Her body is dead. My body is dead. It's just me and this girls body. Whoever she was. Whoever she is. Whoever I am.


	2. Reunion

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"Aaaaa-" I squeeze my eyes shut as the doctor -with the gray hair and big glasses- pokes a stick into my mouth. He's been testing every single part of my body to make sure it functions correctly. And I mean every single part.

"Well done Kagami. You'll be able to go home today." He says cheerfully giving me a wink. Maybe I'm his first successful experiment.

"I'm no doctor, but that went quick didn't it?" I ask suspiciously. I couldn't have been here for more than a week.

"Ah, the inquisitive mind. People who have this surgery recover mostly while there unconscious. So really we just had to get you to talk again."

I nod slowly. It all seems very simple for such new science.

"Before I go….Can I ask you something?" I ask hopefully. I wouldn't ask any other doctor. Over they week that I've been here I've leant that this particular doctor is very nice. He smiles at all his patients, he tells jokes, he gives good advice. Despite this I don't know his name. But at the moment it doesn't matter.

"Anything Kagami." He smiles back.

"Well two things…..Could I see my old body? And…..where did you get this body?" I feel guilty for making his job difficult. But I have to know. It's important to me.

He sighs sorry. "I'm very sorry…..you body has been disposed of….."

Medical waste, huh? Oh well……It would have been upsetting anyway. And I doubt Mum and Dad would want me to see it.

"And that's classified hospital records." He tells me firmly.

I guess I'll never know. I guess it doesn't matter. I'll be home soon. My parents will pick me up and everything will be fine. Everything will be good and just like it used to be. Me and Tsukasa will argue about homework. She'll fall asleep while she tries to do it. And I'll help her. Me and Konata will tease each other about stupid things. Me and Miyuki will chat and try to act normal while Konata does some kind of stupid Otaku thing. My family will watch TV quiz shows, just like before, and everything will be normal. I promise. An oath to myself.

* * *

"So how are you feeling honey?" Mum asks me in concern as Dad drives us home. Mum is obviously worried about me. She's always been wary of new technology and science. Dad on the other hand is more relaxed about the whole thing. As long as I'm alive, he's happy. Which is fine with me.

"Fine thanks." I say quietly. I'm still getting used to my new voice. It's a lot different. Low pitched and husky. Still a girls voice -obviously - but as far as girl's voices get its pretty masculine. Reminds me of a stupid character Konata obsessed about for a while. If I remember correctly that anime was seinen. Well, that's Konata for you.

"Are you looking forward to seeing your sisters?" Dad says, glancing in the rear-view mirror.

"Of course." Although this isn't entirely true. I don't want them to think I'm some kind of scientific abomination. Although, I doubt Tsukasa would ever think that. Or Inori. Inori is far too empathetic and Tsukasa, well I don't think she really understands science well enough to call me an abomination. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Matsuri is the one I'm worried about. I don't know why. We've had arguments before and everything's been fine. But that was before. Before I changed and died and got another chance. When I was normal. But I shouldn't over think this.

"Well, we're here now." Dad says, interrupting my train of thought. I smile weakly before opening the door and getting out. It's feels a little odd, walking about again. Being on the street. It's hard to believe that I can only remember being there - at the hospital- a week. The rest of the time I was unconscious or something.

As soon as I enter the house Tsukasa is squeezing me tightly with tears in her deep blue eyes.

"Sis….I missed you." She says quietly. I realise that this must have been the first time that we've ever really been apart. Or the first time I've ever had an accident. Well, a little more than a accident. I'm so proud of her, hugging me like that, with my new appearance. She didn't even question who I was. For all she knows, I could just be a passing sales woman. I guess our bond as twins goes deeper than I thought.

"I missed you too Tsukasa." I smile at her, wiping an escaped tear away. She lets go and smiles at me. I really have missed her. I sit down next to the table and notice a box pocky's. I take one out slowly. This counts as a welcome home present. Just one. One pocky only. I eat it slowly. I'll savour the moment.

As soon as I finish my beloved pocky, Inori walks in and grins.

"Kagami!"

Well at least Tsukasa and Inori are OK with the new me. The new me. I sound likes I've been medicated on self-help video's, not drugs. Tsukasa and Inori sit next to me smiling. All smiles. Inori looks worried though. As if she knows something I don't. Like the time when I was six and we were at a foreign themed restaurant. I ordered escargot not realising they were snails. My sister gave me the same worried smile back then.

"What's wrong?" I ask, as she adjusts her plum coloured hair.

"Oh, nothing. How are you sis?" I look at her suspiciously. But I'm not going to press the matter. I'll probably find out sooner or later.

"Good. Dieing is fine once you get used to it." I laugh nervously. I really don't know why I made that. It's made everyone in the room tense. I'm laughing at my own death. I've never really been a jokes person.

"Where's Matsuri?" Mum wonders aloud. I'm not sure whether she meant to or not,

"She's in her room." Inori says quietly looking more worried. So Matsuri's what's worrying her.

"Oh sis, Kona-chan called. She's really worried about you." Tsukasa says quickly changing the subject. I'm not sure if she knows that I've got a soft spot for Konata. A very soft spot.

"I'll get back to her on that….But I need to go the bathroom." I lie. I don't need the bathroom. I need to see my sister. Matsuri.

* * *

As I walk down the corridor I hear the sound of heavy metal music. Nobody in this house likes that kind of stuff. Matsuri says it's for idiots who are over emotional. But it's coming from her room. I really hope I'm not the cause of all this. I didn't mean to! I didn't want to die.

I knock on Matsuri's door loudly so that she can hear me over the music.

"Miki?" Why is she using Mum's first name? She called Mum, Momma until she was about fourteen.

"No…." I answer uneasily. Why ever I thought Matsuri would be the problem I was right. Unfortunately.

"Who is it then?" I hear her voice call from inside. She doesn't sound angry or depressed.

"Kagami." I say, hoping that I sound more casual than I feel.

"Kagami is DEAD." Matsuri roars. She's sounds louder than any heavy metal song she could ever play. Well that hurt. I've been saying it to myself but when your sister refuses to acknowledge your existence, it hurts. I'm not going to show her this though. It'll make me look weak.

I open the door slowly, waiting for a pillow to slam into my face. Or a fist. But nothing happens.

"You are not my sister. Don't even try to be like her." Matsuri growls sitting on her bed, her magazine I notice, has been ripped in several places.

"It's me Matsuri. I promise." I say quietly, moving a strand of purple hair out of my eyes.

"Get out of my room. Intruder." She snaps. She's not bluffing. She truly doesn't believe that I'm her sister. That may hurt my feelings but, she's my sister, and I have to make her believe that I'm hers.

I close the door. She can scream if she wants. We can argue and screech and growl and fight, but we won't be heard, not with this music and the door closed. I sit down next to her on the bed. She shifts her weight and moves further away, making sure that her hands are no where near my body.

"Matsuri….It's still me…..I just look different." I say in desperation. She has never been the perfect sister. Irresponsible and terrible with helping. She can't do her own homework, let alone help with mine. But I loved her. I love her.

"Go away….Whoever you are." She says quietly.

I move a little closer. Is that a flicker of fear I see in her eyes? Is she afraid of me? I want to curl up in a ball and cry. And judging by the red rings around her eyes, she's been doing just that. But crying is a sign of weakness. Neither Mum or Dad have ever told me, or any of my sisters that, but I know it. To show emotion is a sign of weakness. I guess that's why Konata thinks I'm such a tsundere.

"Matsuri." I sigh. I look at her carefully she's scared and sad and angry. I can tell all that by looking in her eyes. And I can tell even more by looking at her arms. Each tiny white scar is a sign that she's full of emotions. She's been cutting herself. Cutting herself a lot.


	3. Friends

**Chapter 3**

* * *

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Not with Matsuri.

"You've been cutting yourself?" I hope I sound more confident than I feel. She glares at me, her brown eyes burning into my new dark eyes. That flicker of fear is no longer a flicker, more like a flame of fear. I wish I hadn't thought of that now. Flames.

"Why would you care?" She's asks angrily, but her voice is wavering. I'm upsetting her. I should go. No. I need answers.

"Because we're sisters." Simple. Blood is thicker than water. Well, it's supposed to be.

"So I'm told."

Actions speak louder than words. This is a risk. I shouldn't do this. But I have to. I touch her face. I touched her. She slaps my hand away quickly, as if I've got the plague.

"Don't EVER, do that again! Ever!" She shrieks, holding her knees close up to her face, so I can't see her eyes. I stand up slowly and leave the room. I slouch before looking at my hand. My sister hate's me. My touch. My body. My existence. I need some comforting.

* * *

"Tsukasa will you ring Miyuki and Konata for me? Tell them to meet at…..Konata's house!" I would never usually ask to go round to someone else's house. But I'm desperate. I need to know where I stand with my friends. Who hates me, who doesn't. I put it so simply but in truth, discovering Matsuri's hatred was not simple. It hurt in so many different ways.

"Sure sis." She smiles at me picking up the phone. I love you Tsukasa. I should tell you that more often.

* * *

I hope from foot to foot outside Konata's house. I'm so nervous. That little Otaku girl…..if she hates me I think I'll just have to go home and borrow Matsuri's drawing pins. The door opens after what felt like an eternity. Konata answers, with her usual cat like grin and sleepy eyes.

"Kagamin! Tsukasa! I am so glad to see my favourite twins around!"

I smile. I've missed the little squirt.

"We're the only twins you know, shorty." I smile at her, I've missed teasing her and her teasing everybody else.

"Your just jealous of my Lolita goodness." She grins crossing her arms. "Come in guys, I've got pocky's!"

"You know me too well." I smile as Tsukasa steps in thanking Konata. As I step in, I see familiar neat, pick spikes of hair.

"Miyuki!" Tsukasa grins, blushing. It looks like I've got a soft spot for Konata and she's got a soft spot for the Moe goddess herself - in Konata's words.

"Hello Tsukasa, and Kagami, I'm glad your well."

I swear, if I didn't know better, I would think that Miyuki is a robot. She's so perfect.

"Hey Miyuki-san." We all sit down, and begin to chatter about the usual things ; school, anime, manga, boys and other random things. I love my friends so much, sometimes I wish I could be attached to them with an invisible thread. Only sometimes though. When I'm in a very, very good mood.

"May I be excused? I need the bathroom." Miyuki asks, her usual formal language being used.

"Urm….me too…."Tsukasa mumbles.

"Sure you too….but not together!" Konata teases watching them as they leave. Konata suddenly turns to face me, an unusual serious expression on her face.

"I really missed you Kagami." She used my actual name. That for one shows she's serious. "I was really worried about you…..I thought you were gonna…..die…..I couldn't do anything, I was really nervous. I even stopped going on the computer for a bit."

Wow. For Konata to give up her beloved computer….for me? I'm really flattered. I feel myself blush, Konata never gives up her computer.

"And well Kagami…..while you were gone…..I discovered something…..I discovered that…..I well….really….really…like you." She says looking down at the floor, rubbing two fingers together. She is obviously nervous. I smile at her as she glances up.

"I love you too Konata."

* * *

As Miyuki and Tsukasa come back from the bathroom, Konata and I are both red.

"Kagami, you do look pretty today." Miyuki tells me. That girl is perfect. If my self confidence needed boosting -which it did -then she just said the perfect thing.

"Thanks Miyuki…." I say quietly.

"Well everybody, it's getting a little late." Miyuki comments. Everybody looks a little confused and then we remember that Miyuki goes to bed at 10:00PM.

"But the night has just begun!" Konata protests. Miyuki and Konata couldn't be more different at bed-time. The late night otaku and the princess of rest.

"Well…it is getting a little late." Tsukasa says thoughtfully, looking outside.

"Fine then, you guys better go home, my dad will be home soon anyway, it would be best if he didn't see Miyuki."

Miyuki looks up in confusion. "What do you mean Konata?"

Konata laughs. "He's into lots of harem at the moment and you being the most moe."

Miyuki giggles a little. "I understand."

* * *

**AN:** I'm really sorry about how the plot is well…..not to be found at the moment….hopefully, it'll become more clear

also sorry about how short this one is


	4. Talking

**Chapter 4**

* * *

I lie on my bed, back at home. Everybody is being a little wary of me. Matsuri especially. I roll over and hug my pillow tightly. But I do feel good. About Konata….But I guess I'm not going to tell anyone. Yet. Matsuri would probably cut herself - which worries me -and if I told Tsukasa, she would blab. And Inori's just not the type of person who I would tell first. This sucks.

I glance upwards as I hear Mum asking to come in. I nod before realizing she can't see me.

"Sure, come in." I say loudly, hopefully not sounding rude. She comes in and smiles sitting on my bed.

"Are you upset about something Kagami?" She asks gently. Well she gets straight to the point. I don't know if it's a mum thing but whenever anything happens, she knows. Which means she's probably guessed that something is up with Matsuri. Especially because my usually talkative sister hasn't said anything since I came back from Konata's. Plus she's completely ignoring my presence .

"Me and Matsuri had an argument." I say quietly. Do I really want to talk about this?

Mum shifts her weight, getting a little more comfortable. I guess she thinks that she's going to be here for a while. She's expecting me to pour my heart out to her, tell her everything. If only she new about every thing's that's happened today.

"About what?"

"She doesn't believe that I'm her sister. And she's scared of me. And she doesn't want me to touch her." It's like I could make a whole long list of the things Matsuri doesn't want me to do. Because she's afraid.

Mum sighs and hugs me, as if expecting me to have major break down and begin to cry. Definitely not. If I was going to cry I would have done it by now.

"She just needs time, you know what Matsuri's like…"

I think this is a little different from arguments we had as kids when Matsuri would just be stubborn. OK I'll try to emphasise. OK….here we go. Well I guess it would be a little weird, seeing your sister as a completely different person. But I don't understand! Everybody else is fine with it. If Matsuri would explain.

"Mum…if I left…." I can't finish my sentence. Why am I even asking.

"If you left then everybody would be very, very unhappy." I'm not sure whether she was patronising me just then.

"Matsuri wouldn't." I say coldly.

"She would…..oh and while I remember I think Inori wanted to speak to you, I'll go get her."

I sit with my legs crossed on the bed, why does this situation remind me of when people say goodbye to somebody at a funeral? I wonder what people would have said at my funeral? I guess Matsuri would have been at peace.

Inori walks into my room quietly, looking a lot more casual than usual. I'm half expecting her to offer me life-insurance. I could have used some of that. She sits next to me in what looks a little like a yoga position. She faces me and smiles weakly.

"Kagami, I'm sorry I didn't warn you about Matsuri."

An apology is not what I needed. Especially not from the person I look up too. I've always wanted to be like Inori. Beautiful and bold and clever and hard-working. She's always been my idol. Although, I've never told her this. Or anyone. My secret.

"It's not your fault. It's my fault, I had to go and die right?"

Her eyes look moist. I am such an idiot sometimes? Why do I keep reminding the people I love that I died? Won't that just make it harder to move on?

"Kagami….Matsuri's acting like this because well….."

I'm expecting something now. My chance to understand my sister!

"Well…..she was the one cooking - the reason the fire started." Inori looks at the floor as if she's ashamed that she's told me this. Maybe this was a secret.

"So she thinks that it's her fault that I died?" So while Matsuri's getting eaten up by guilt I've been declaring my love to certain otaku's.

Inori nods. "That's why she refuses to believe that your yourself."

"How do you know this..?" I ask suspiciously. She could be lying to me. But why would she?

"She told me."

So she's betraying one sister for another. So she's done this out of pity. Or maybe she actually believes that by telling me this things will get better. Maybe this will. Maybe they wont. Probably not.

"Inori…I know this will sound odd but, if you loved someone, but someone hated you, would it be better to stay with your loved one, or go for the sake of the person who hates you?"

Inori stares at the floor. Again. She's trying to figure this out. She cracks her fingers, like she always does when she's upset or embarrassed. She knows that the person who hates me is Matsuri. She's just confused about who the person I love is.

"Kagami….I don't know……That would have to be your own decision……But if you do go…..Let me say goodbye."

My own decision. Inori looks up at me with tears in her eyes. I pull her closer and hug her. I haven't hugged her for a long time. I haven't seen her with tears in her eyes since her boyfriend broke up with her a few years ago. I didn't know my sister could be like this. So vulnerable and emotional.

"Inori, Matsuri's cuts herself." I say quietly. Inori will know the right thing to do. Inori will be sensible. She will help me. She will help Matsuri.

Her eyes widen with shock and disbelief.

"She what?"

"She cuts herself."

Silence. We're both thinking things over. We can't make her stop.

"We'll figure this out Kagami, we will."

* * *

AN: thanks to Ctb for telling me about the whole chapter mix up.


	5. School

**Chapter 5**

* * *

I sigh pulling on my sailor style uniform. When I started high school all those years ago, I loved the sailor uniform. Then I met Konata and I realized the appeal of these kinds of uniforms, thus making me wary of every old man I saw.

"Hey sis, I made you lunch." Tsukasa said drowsily, peeking through the door. I love my sister's bento boxes. Tsukasa excels at making them. Sometimes, I think even Miyuki is jealous of them. Tsukasa is the best cook in the family, including Mum.

"Thanks Tsukasa."

I walk out the door and sigh Matsuri is doing the usual. Ignoring me. Sometimes she even has the nerve too mourn for me. Which isn't particularly nice when your trying to eat dinner. I just ignored her though, I mean what was I supposed to say? She's beginning to freak me out, if I see any more cuts on her arms I swear I'm going to raid her bedroom.

"Bye Mum." Tsukasa smiles as we step outside. A nice day. A little windy but, warm. As usual we walk slowly, I lag behind a little, not really wanting to go back to school. It's bad enough already. I know more people in Tsukasa's class than in my own - which even I admit is a little sad. Especially seeing as in Tsukasa's class I'm Kagami, in my class I'm Hiiragi. Even to Ayano and Misao I'm Hiiragi.

I see Konata and wave, happy to see the blue haired Otaku. Tsukasa smiles at her. We wait for her, as she slowly walks over to us.

"Hey guys, guess what? There was an anime marathon last night! All my favourites!" She grins, her cat like face bright with happiness.

"No baseball Kona-chan?" Tsukasa asks curiously.

"It's not baseball season!" Konata exclaims giving me a happy glance. Ah, yes last night, as if I could forget.

"Come on we'll be late guys." I point out. I don't want to go but seeing as I have to, I might as well be punctual. Not that it matters to Konata, Nanako is probably used to Konata's tardiness by now. As long as the two trade games at the end of the day, there still friends. Nanako is one heck of a teacher. But I guess I'm fond of my own form tutor. Or homeroom teacher, or whatever you want to call it. Hikaru Sakuraba is definitely a nice person. A character.

"Fine Kagamin, be like that." Konata huffs, her conversation being ruined. It wasn't much of a conversation. Tsukasa was staring into space, probably thinking about balsamic vinegar or some recipe.

"Will you ever stop calling me that?" I ask beginning to walk. Konata pushes her finger near my face, as if to show whatever she has to say is important.

"Unless we get married no!" I immediately blush.

"Oh, Kona-chan." Tsukasa giggles, obviously thinking Konata's just teasing me, as usual. But it means much more than that. Much, much more.

"Shut up." I say quietly, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead. Konata's grins walking beside me.

* * *

As usual, I walk into Konata's class by accident. Miyuki, is already sat down, discussing homework with someone. She's such a saint. Tsukasa is behind me and Konata, fiddling with the yellow ribbon in her hair. I can already feel everybody staring at me. I decide to ignore their stares of curiosity.

Konata strides over to Nanako with a new DS game in her hand. I follow her quickly, not wanting to stand by myself. Nobody recognises me.

"Hey Kuroi!" Konata calls, using the teachers last name, as we are all still in class. Nanako looks at me, obviously unsure of who I am.

"Konata, who's the new kid?" Kuroi asks I confusion. "I didn't realise we were expecting a new student."

Konata gives me an apologetic glance. "Urm….Kagamin, why don't you talk to Miyuki..?" She's asks trailing off. I nod, before shuffling off. I glance behind me, seeing Nanako's facial expression change, as Konata -I guess- begins explaining me. Instead of shuffling over to Miyuki, I shuffle out the door and begin shuffling over to my class.

As soon as I enter the classroom, people are giving me confused glances. Some people whisper, wondering why they hadn't been told about the 'new kid'.

Miaso - being the boldest member of the class - strides towards me, as always, accompanied by Ayano, her childhood friend. Even if I do get the sense that those two are more than just friends.

"Howdy, bud. Are ya' new?" Misao asks loudly, grinning lopsidedly, as she always does when she's happy about something.

"No, don't worry, it'll all make sense." I frown, really wishing that I didn't have to come to school.

Ayano looks at me curiously - like nearly everybody else in the room - offering her hand. I shake it happily, wondering if she'll offer her hand after she knows about me. I smile at them weakly before going to sit at my desk. I sit stiffly, waiting for to come in. I guess she's already been 'warned' about me. Well not guess, I know, I heard the phone call that explained everything. Unfortunately, when listening to phone conversations, you only get one half of the story ; I have no idea how she reacted.

Miss. Sakuraba comes in with a pile of books, looking like she's been running to get here at a reasonable time. She sees me and smiles.

"Could you photocopy these for me Kagami?"

I sigh. "Yeah, sure." I get up slowly and pick up the sheets of paper. I know where this is going. She's going to tell everyone what happened while I'm doing my photocopying, in the attempt to not hurt my feelings. Yeah right. I remember the same thing happening in Middle School when a kid's dad died. It's not like telling everyone in private is going to make anything less hurtful. I doubt telling everyone in private made it any easier for that kid when someone talked about how great their dad was.

I walk out the room but stay firmly put. I know eavesdropping is rude but…..oh well. Just this once.

"Now kids, as you've probably heard Kagami Hiiragi was in a accident. She died, but thanks to new technology her body has been replaced."

At this point somebody interrupts, saying something along the lines of 'ewwww'. Wow thanks guys.

"She's fit and healthy and still the same person, she just doesn't look the same. Or sound the same."

"Hey, ! Where did the body….like come from?" I hear a guy's voice cut through the room. Everybody is thinking the same thing, he just asked. There'll be a few rumours about where the body came from, I've got to be prepared for that.

"I don't know!" answers loudly, from the tone of her voice I can tell that she doesn't want any more awkward questions, or questions at the science behind the surgery. - being a biology teacher - is apparently expected to know that. Yeah right. And even if she did explain it, some dimwit wouldn't understand and hates people who can't understand first time.

At this point I step in and smile sweetly. "You didn't tell me how many copies."

* * *

At lunch I begin walking to Nanako's classroom, to eat lunch with Tsuaksa, Konata and Miyuki. As I walk I see people pointing and whispering. Screw them. It's not like their pointing discreetly or anything. It's like I'm a big freak show to them, who deserves to be pointed at.

As I enter the room, everything seems to quieten down, as if I'm some kind of bad omen. I sit at the usual table, opposite Konata, with Tsukasa and Miyuki at the left and right sides. As always, we begin to talk about ridiculous things ; weight, anime, otaku's, theories - most of them provided by Miyuki- drunk people, and everything in-between.

Until someone comes to ask us a question. More specifically, ask me a question.

"Hey, Kagami - if that is your real name - is it true that the body your in came from the sewer?"

I can't help but smiles slightly. These rumours. Seriously, the sewer? I doubt the government would let doctors fish body's out of the sewer.

"Hey, don't be so rude!" Konata says, pointing an accusing finger at the girl who asked the question.

"I'll be anyway I like, Izumi."

I'm quite flattered that Konata is sticking up for me. But knowing her she'll get into a fight. And unless the story about her beating up the foreign guy - where her and Tsukasa supposedly met -then I'll doubt she'll win.

"Konata, shut up." I tell her firmly, surprised at how she looks a little hurt. "Even I don't know where they got the body from - my body from - so you can go now."

The girl glares at me - as if the thought of me sickens her - before turning away and scuttling back to her own lunch table.

* * *

I smiles fakely as we walk home. The group of us - Me, Tsukasa, Konata, Miyuki, Yutaka, Hiyori and Minami. I am paying close attention to everybody's body language.

Hiyori - to my surprise - seems to be studying me, like she does when she see's Yutaka and Minami in a yuri pose. She doesn't seem to be looking at me with disgust, just some kind of interest. Like I'm walking art. Which in a medical way, I guess I am. She glances at me every few seconds, looking at my jaw, my eyes, my hair and nose. To be honest, I think she's looking forward to drawing me.

Minami - despite her cool and calm personality - seems to be a little panicked. She looks at me, as if waiting for me to go crazy. Which I guess, I could at any moment. She stands next to Yutaka, as if protecting her from the horrors of me.

Yutuka however seems to be more afraid of me than interested. Her frail body keeps as far away from me as possible. She doesn't look at me, as if if she looked into my eyes, she would die. She clutches Minami's arm as if to say - I'm protected, stay away you! But Yutaka's a nice girl, I doubt she even realises how far she's staying away from me. She's actually smiling - a little.

When I get home, I ignore everyone and everything, going straight to my bedroom. I listen to everyone talking, Mum, Dad, Tsukasa and Inori. Matsuri has made a habit of staying in her room, listening to screamo or heavy metal music. Or cutting herself. Why do I care so much anyway? She hate's me. Shouldn't I hate her back? I should, she's being completely unfair. But I've got a decision to make. Do I leave, or do I stay. And after today, I realise that I'm slowly tilting towards the answer leave.


	6. Choices

**Chapter 6**

* * *

I sigh looking out the window. I poke the glass idly, not really wanting to think about anything. I don't want to make such a big decision by myself. Independent Kagami Hiiragi can't make a choice? I'm sure Konata would love to hear that one. I'm sure there's lot of things Konata would want me to say - judging on the types of games she plays. The thought makes me smile, Konata and her games. Or should I say, her Dad's games?

I begin to grow bored of poking the window. I think a few of my brain cells just died after poking a window for half an hour. Yep, I just poked a window for half an hour, wasting some of my life - which I should be very grateful for. I step outside my bedroom, wondering why I can't hear any music. I get my answer pretty quickly. Matsuri is sat in the corridor with a pencil balanced on her mouth. I didn't realise everybody else is as bored as I am.

She glances up for a second noticing my apparently 'ghostly presence ' before focusing once again on her pencil. I sigh, rolling my eyes. Will she ever accept me?

I decide to go to the computer. I mean, I Konata - and her teacher, Nanako- can spend their lives on the thing, then it must be vaguely interesting. Geez, I'm talking as if I've never been on a computer before!

I log in and decide to check my email. It takes a few guesses at my password, seeing as I don't check my email regularly. To my surprise, when I finally guess the right password, I have quite a few emails. Some of them from today. I open the first one, recognizing Misao's email address. As I read it, I suddenly feel betrayed.

_KaGaMI Ur A FREAK! DoN'T BOthER TaLKIng To ME AGAIN!!! U DeSERve TO DIE!!_

Well, after that, I doubt I'd want to talk to her again. This has really surprised me. Misao didn't even seem slightly bothered. She was just being her usual bubbly self. She cried about dropping her meatball, she chatted to Ayano and was overall normal around me. I guess I underestimated her as an actress. Another thing, did she really have to go all out with the spelling? Seriously, as if I need capitals to see what she means. I'm a little scared to open the next one now, which seems to be from Ayano. If hers is anything like Misao's, I swear I'll definitely be leaving. I never knew Misao was like that. I open the email from Ayano, squeezing my eyes shut for a few seconds before reading it.

_Hey Kagami, Ayano here! I'm sorry for not talking to you more today, Misao was being stubborn about something._

Even in the email, I can tell how embarrassed she is. She's being very polite though, stubborn is not the word I would use to describe Misao after that email.

_Anyway, I was wondering whether you wanted to do a study session sometime? Just like we did last term, remember? Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow I guess. Bye!_

Well that was nice of her. It nearly makes me forget the other email. As I scroll down the list of emails, I notice quite a few sent today from anonymous people - which I guess means their hate mail. I also see a few from Konata, during the time I was in hospital. I have to read these. The first one, which was sent on the day after the accident.

_Kagami. I'm really worried about you! I know it's stupid sending emails but….you're a good friend so….I miss you._

Damn you, Konata! Your making my decision more difficult, sending me cute emails like that! Now I kind of wish that everybody hated me, so then I could obviously just leave. I'm not going to read any more, I have to think about this properly. Think Kagami. I log off the computer and sigh, walking down the corridor where Matsuri is now balancing two pens on her mouth. Wow, I never realised Matsuri could achieve so much in such a short time. I shuffle past. This will help me decide. I've got to do this. I've already taken a risk with Matsuri, touching her. So why not take another?

"Matsuri, will you come talk to me?" I ask facing her. She looks up at me, the pens dropping off her face. To my surprise she stands up, not saying a word. She nudges past me, stepping into my bedroom and sitting on my bed. I am surprised that she can stand to sit on something where I sleep.

"What do you want?" She asks quietly, breathing heavily, as if my words have physically hurt her.

"If I left, what would you do?" I ask bluntly. She wouldn't tell Mum and Dad. I don't mean enough for her to get worried.

"I would throw a party, can I go now?" She answers, staring at the floor. Wow, she really does want me to leave.

"Do you mean that?"

"No Kagami. If this is about that argument then…I was just freaked out. You're a human being, I accept that." Matsuri looks so childlike as she says this, as if talking to me is the worst punishment anybody could ever give her. Maybe it is. I know! Next time she cuts herself, I'll chain her to myself. Wait, that wasn't funny. I should shut up now.

"Do you accept me as your sister?" I ask quietly. I already no the answer. Little does she know that whatever she says determines my life.

She glances up before quickly glancing away. I guess she can see how much it means.

"I-I'm sorry." She stutters. "Your not my sister, and you never will be. Kagami Hiiragi is dead….and I miss her!" Matsuri says quietly, tears beginning to drip down her face.

"But I am Kagami." I say putting my hand on her shoulder. She shoves my hand off, still not ready for me to touch her. She snivels, wiping her eyes and nose.

"Your not my sister, and you never will be!" She repeats, having to make sure her voice suddenly doesn't break into tears. She stands up, lingering in the door way for a second before storming out.

My mind is made up. Not matter how much it hurt's to leave, I have to. I will never be fully accepted in this household.


	7. Goodbye

**Chapter 7**

* * *

I look at my sailor uniform sorrowfully. This will be my last day of school - even if nobody knows it. I'll miss my family. I love them, but my parent's have got 3 other daughters, I'm sure they'll cope. They've got Tsukasa and Matsuri and Inori - a mix of characters. They'll be fine without me. They'll survive. I'm not too sure about myself though.

Walking to school as usual. I've decided to take in all the beautiful scenery. And have a long conversation with everyone on my mental list. And say goodbye to a few people. Just those few special few. And……there's so many things I want to do, but I can't do them all without looking very, very strange. I'll talk to Nanako - seeing as I'll miss the idiot - and I'll ask answer a lot of questions in biology - for Miss Sakuraba . I'll compliment Tsukasa's bento box more than usual, and I'll protect Miyuki from Konata's sexual harassment. I'll appreciate Ayano and be nice to everyone - no matter how much they point and stare. I might even save Misao's meatball - if I'm in the mood, because after last night, I can't say she's on my friend list. I'll talk to Patty about anime and games and America, and I'll talk to Hiyori about anything she wants to talk about. I'll tell Yutaka that she'll grow up to be taller than me and I'll reassure Minami about her flat chest -without Konata around seeing as she'll say something about Lolita goodness. I might even go to the school nurse just to say hi. I'm gonna miss everybody so much. We've all had so much fun together.

Like the time Nanako, Yui, Konata, Miyuki, Tsukasa and I went to the beach. I remember Konata in the showers copying a stupid advert, and staring at Miyuki's back, planning to make her trip on some soap. And I remember every lunch, Konata would bring a cocoa cornet - and she still does - and wash it down with a glass of milk. And I remember the time we went to the fair, and we saw a drink called a Blue Hawaii. Poor Miyuki looked so flustered because she couldn't tell us what it was. Tsukasa knew though - unlikely right? - and we all learned what a Blue Hawaii drink was. Good times.

"Sis….you just kinda drifted off." Tsukasa smiles at me. Geez, I didn't realise. I finally understand how Miyuki feels when she suddenly zones out.

"Oh sorry. Is that Konata over there?" I ask spotting a tiny blue haired girl walking towards us.

"Looks like it sis."

Konata walks over to us, as usual grinning, holding a new game. Where does she get the money to buy these things? I know she works as a cosplay café - I've been there - but she just bought a new game yesterday!

"Half price!" She exclaims loudly, showing us the front cover.

"Kona-chan did your dad buy this for you?" Tsukasa asks suspiciously looking at the front cover. It looks pretty explicit.

Konata nods. "Yeah, I promised I'd show Nanako, I was telling her about it yesterday."

"Nanako into this kind of stuff?" I ask, amazed that she and her teacher look at games like that.

"Well, it's an RPG so yes."

* * *

As I walk into the classroom - my own classroom, not Tsukasa's - I get a different response from yesterday. Nobody is looking at me curiously, more like glaring at me. Except for sweet little Ayano. She's smiles at me and walks over.

"Hey Kagami, good to see you."

This will sound horrible, but did she expect me to die or something? Wait, I'm being way over critical. I take that back, I'm being horrible. Ayano is the one of the sweetest girl's I've met. She actually reminds me a little bit of Tsukasa, seeing as they both share a love of cooking.

"I'm good Ayano, and I would love to do a study session. How's your cooking going?"

One name ticked off my mental list. I've started a conversation with Ayano so I've talked to her. This counts as my goodbye really. Ayano blushes slightly.

"Well, I'm not the best but I've been baking some cookies."

I smile. Just like Tsukasa. It's weird how I hang around the same types of people - even though I complain about them all the time. I guess you don't know what you've got until you lose it - or are about to lose it.

I've decided that Misao's not on my conversation list - it would probably all end in a disaster, or me dieing again. I should really stop with the death jokes. There not funny, they freak people out and I would rather not think about how I died.

* * *

The lessons have passed quickly, I answered lots of biology questions. is ticked off the list. As I walk to my friends classroom I hear a snigger.

"It's FrankenKagami!"

What a stupid joke. Seriously? A mix between Frankenstein and my name. Wow I didn't realize people could be so clever and creative. I just smile, and pretend to not have heard. Man, that one was worse than all my death jokes put together.

"Hey Kagamin! Over here!" Konata calls as I step into the classroom. Nice to know that they saved me a seat. OK I'm saving Konata till last on my list - for a very important reason - so I'll talk to Tsukasa - well I'll complement her bento box.

I sit down and open the box, and once again Tsukasa has made a fantastic lunch.

"Wow Tsukasa, your such a great cook. Another great bento." I hope that I didn't sound too cheesy. I think I just sounded like something out of a terrible movie but Tsukasa smiles at me.

"Thanks sis." Simple Tsuaksa. And I mean that in a nice way. I do! She's the best twin I could ever have - even if we are complete opposites.

"Miyuki, your so moe, with your big-" Konata is cut off as I put my hand over her mouth. Poor Miyuki, always getting harassed.

"Konata, you sound like a perverted old man." I smile before taking my hand off her mouth. Miyuki has been ticked off my list. Although I still fell like I should do something more for Miyuki, she's always so helpful.

"Thank you Kagami."

* * *

The four of us, walk the corridors happily, looking for Patty. Konata is so impressed with her stupid game, she want's to show Patty and the rest of Patty's friends. Sometimes I really feel sorry for Yutaka, having to live with Konata. But on the other hand…..

"Konata-sempai!" The blond haired American squeals as she see's us. Let me guess, she's got a drama CD that Konata's fond of to swap? Even though I'm joking that has happened before.

"Patty, I've got a new game! Oh, and good job last night at the café."

I don't even want to know what those two do at that café. I went once, and I'm never going back. Seriously, there were guys - who didn't work there may I add - dancing along wearing male cosplay. And half of them were around forty.

"Patty, what anime's have you been watching lately?" Then I realise something - Patty hasn't seen me before. As if I could forget that. To my surprise Patty just shrugs and begins to talk.

"Just the usual, you know." Thank goodness for that. I guess she had also been 'warned' by Konata or Yutuka or Minami or something. Sometimes I forget that there all best friends - so probably tell each other everything, within reason.

"Well Patty, your a great cosplayer." I smile. Patty has been ticked off the list - even though I didn't really say that much, I don't want to embarrass myself by saying something stupid about anime or something.

Yutaka and Minami are stood next to each other laughing about something. I leave Konata and Patty talking while Miyuki tries to explain something to Tsuaksa. I doubt she'll ever get it - unless it's something to do with baking.

"Hey guys."

Yutaka looks a little startled as she hears my voice. Minami smiles at me but begins to fidget a little.

"I just came to say well….Yutaka your gonna be tall one day, I day and Minami don't worry about anything!" I smile at them. They've been ticked off the list. I leave them in stunned silence. I don't really know what they were expecting me to say but it obviously wasn't that.

After this I begin to look for Hiyori. Well, not exactly look, I just kind of stand and make my eyes look in different places. I ask Patty where she is and shy says she's in there classroom, so I go there. It seems that I'm less well known in lower school, to them I'm just sempai. Which is fine with me. I spot Hiyori - with her tongue sticking out -drawing at her desk. I walk over and sit on her table.

"Hey Hiyori, you're a great artist."

She laughs. "Thanks Kagami."

"What do you like to draw?" I ask curiously glancing at her work.

"Ur…just some….romance-y type things between….my favourite characters " She laughs, flustered, suddenly hiding her work underneath the table.

"Ok then, I'll see you later." But now she's checked off the list, I probably wont.

* * *

Finally the end of school. As usual, I meet my friends in their classroom, where Konata is already chatting to Kuroi.

"And you can be an fighter, or a wizard - oh hey Kagamin - and we could connect and you could be my tanker!" Konata chats happily, even though I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Hey Konata, Kuroi. Hey, I heard you like RPG's, do you?" I ask the teacher. I need to get her ticked off the check list before I leave school.

"Yeah, sure do! I play them all the time!" She grins at me, as if I've just asked her to train me to play video games.

"Well, I'll see you later Kuroi, well I'll see you tonight right?"

The teacher nods before Konata begins to drag me out of school. This is the last time I'll see the little squirt.

"Tsukasa and Miyuki went home, I said I'd walk you." She smiles at me.

"Hey can we go sit by that big tree, I want to talk to you."

She nods as we begin walking over. Once we're both comfortable -leaning on the tree sat next to each other- then I begin to talk.

"Konata, I'm leaving." I admit quietly. I said those three words so quickly but they mean so much. It's finally beginning to set in that I might not see any of these wonderful, idiotic, crazy, amazing people again. I might not see Konata again.

Konata looks up at me. "Your what?".

I repeat myself. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder, as if she's trying to chain me to this spot.

"I'm sorry Konata." I whisper, I don't want to speak any louder because the louder I say it, the more real it feels.

"Don't leave me, Kagamin!" She begs, beginning to cry a little. "Please don't."

I hug her tightly. "I have to leave Konata. I need a fresh start. I'll never be Kagami here. Never again. I just want to be normal."

She squeezes me tightly. "But what about me?" She sniffs.

"I love you Konata. And that will never change. But….." This all seems so selfish. Leaving my lover so I won't be ridiculed. I'll miss her so much. I kiss the top of her head, as if that makes it all better.

"One day, I'll come and find you Kagami. I'll text you everyday and…and!"

"You can't text me Konata. They might be able to track my phone. I'm giving my phone to you. To remember me by."

"I mean it though! I'll come find you one day." She looks up at me sadly.

I nod in agreement. "One day Konata. One day."

* * *

As soon as I get home I walk into my room. I look under my bed, to find the suitcase that I packed last night. I'm actually leaving. I pull the case out, creating a bit of noise. I hope nobody heard it.

Bad luck. My door opens, Inori peeking in, most probably to see what the noise was. She almost immediately spots the suitcase. I stare at her, not knowing what to say.

"You promised you'd say goodbye." She walks over and hugs me, her head resting on top of mine.

"I'll miss you, you know that." I say. "Look after Tsuaksa for me….and Matsuri!" Those two need looking after.

"I'll have to look after Mum and dad as well you know."

I sigh. She's making me feel guilty. "I know."

"I'm not going to try and stop you. I'll miss you Kagami. Look after yourself, you've always been a clever kid." She ruffles my hair, giving me one last glance before leaving the room. Bye Inori.

* * *

I sit on the train stiffly with my suitcase. Hopefully, I just look like a normal schoolgirl, trying to get home. Hopefully no one will question the suitcase.

I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where I am. I don't know the time. I don't know where I'll stay. I don't know how I'll make a living. I don't know if I'll ever got to school. But I am Kagami Hiiragi. And nobody will ever tell me any different.

_The hardest part of any friendship is when it's time to say goodbye. As much as we might like things to stay the same, change is an inevitable part of life. The universe may seem huge and the rift between friends on opposite side of the world may seem a great distance. There are many tools available with which we can communicate, but even without these tools there is a secret that only real friends know, and it is this. All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one. _

* * *

EDIT 2 : A lot of people are saying this is short, so yes I have to agree - it is a little unfinished. So instead of making a sequel I'll carry on this one - partly because i can't think of any awsome names for sequels xD Kidding


	8. New Start

**Chapter 8**

* * *

I sigh getting off the train - or should I say getting pushed off the train? - it's so busy over here - wherever I am -so different to Kasukabe. So what to do now…? I look around - hoping nobody thinks I'm looking for my parents or something - I see a newspaper stand, I could look for a job I guess. I don't have that much money. I have 60 yen. Well yeah, that's more than enough to buy me a newspaper but it's not going to get me very far.

I half walk, half drag myself over to the stand.

"One paper, please." I ask politely before grabbing the paper and handing over the money. I sit down on a near by bench - the joy of train stations, there's always a bench free - and open the paper, looking for the jobs section. I quickly find it, and begin to read.

_Job Advertisements._

_Cosplay café_

_Love to cosplay? Want to get paid for it? Come to Cosplay Café - at the station, just ask for directions. Minimum wage, completely worth it and fun!_

What a terribly written advert! It could have been written by the great Konata herself. Wait, I take that back - I miss her too much. OK, I'll only go for the cosplay café is there is nothing else available. And, I hate to cosplay - I learnt that from the cosplay convention Konata dragged me along to once. I'll miss doing things with her….

_Maid Café_

_Maid café, station - just ask for directions. Minimum wage - looking for stereotypes: Moe, tsundere, Loli ._

Are they kidding? Seriously? Are all these jobs going to be like this? At least the advert for the cosplay café actually had the use of persuasion. Goodness me. That just went from bad to worse. I guess I'll be taking up two jobs in the station. Two of the most terrible jobs I could imagine which only Otaku's would like. And they remind me of Konata and Patty.

Once again, I drag myself to the newspaper stand, this time asking directions. I buy a pen, and write the directions down on my newspaper before starting to head to the Cosplay Café. Unfortunately, the two café's are in the opposite direction to each other, which means, if I get both jobs, and get two shifts near each other, I will have to run from one side of the station to the other, to get to my job on time. I begin to walk - hopefully I'll get there before it closes.

I reach the café and can't help but smile a little, remembering the time I saw Konata cosplaying Haruhi Suzumiya. I wonder who I'll cosplay - if I get the job.

The café itself, to my surprise, actually looks quite nice and neat. There is once sign on the door reading '_Cosplay café'_. The sign is surrounded by pictures of normal looking people one the left, and then on the right pictures of them cosplaying various characters. As I suspected, the staff are all female. I knock on the door, and step back a little, waiting for a reply.

A girl answers looking surprised - probably thinking I'm a female customer. She seems to be dressed up as the main character from Too Heart. I only know this because I remember my - should I say our, meaning Tsukasa? -last birthday where Konata bought Tsukasa the cosplay outfit Konata can be such a weirdo sometimes.

"Oh…urm…hello?" The girl smiles at me warmly, not really knowing what to say. This place obviously doesn't get female customers..

I smile back showing her the newspaper. " I wondered if I could get a job here?"

She laughs quietly, raising an eyebrow. "You like to cosplay?"

I shake my head.

She laughs again, louder this time. "Me neither, come in."

* * *

The manager seems like a pretty boring guy. He reminds me of the doctor at the hospital , except for more Otaku. He says he's got a character perfect for me, if I'm up for it. He says my voice is just the right pitch. He leaves me - with the girl who answered the door who I now know is cosplaying a girl from some seinen manga. The manager comes back with a black dress, a cane, a top hat, a striped fingerless glove and some tights.

"Mio!" He grins at me.

"Who the heck is…?"

He smiles at me, and I'm not kidding, I'm sure I saw a glint in his eyes. "Just cosplay, and you get paid."

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry - I know, short but if anyone wants to give me any advice on writing this then I'll gladly accept it!**


	9. Hiiragi Family

**Chapter 9**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I wonder why sis isn't back yet? Konata promised that she'd walk her home. But, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. They've probably gone back to Kona-chan's house. No need to worry. I'll bake some cookies, for when sis gets home. I know she likes them.

"Where's Kagami?" Mum asks, noticing that I'm the only twin home at the moment.

"I think she's walking home with Konata-chan." I explain, scratching my head a little. She nods, but doesn't seem convinced.

"It's not like her not to call though." She points out. Before I know, I'm nodding in agreement, even though I asked my brain to say 'Just call Konata's house'. I should concentrate more.

"Call Konata-chan." I say slowly, making sure I say the right thing.

"Will you do it for me?" She asks. I nod, I never get asked to do anything - except from cook.

"OK, Mum." She leaves the room just before I pick out my cell phone. I flip it open, and look through my contacts. I finally reach the right number and press the call button - well on the second time I pressed the call button, because on the first try I messed up and pressed exit by mistake!

"Konata-chan?" I ask down the phone.

"Uh-huh?" She sounds all sad - and she's sniffling.

"Is sis at your place."

I hear the phone being put down and some weird background noise - the background noise sounds like a mixture between coughing and crying. Kona-chan is probably playing some weird game again. She picks up the phone.

"No, sorry Tsukasa."

"Oh!" I say in surprise. "Didn't you walk home with her?"

"No, she urmmm….. Had already left!" She pauses. "I have to go!"

And suddenly, Konata-chan has put the phone down. I wonder why? Did I say something wrong? Again, I mustn't jump to conclusions. Kona-chan must have just reached a new level on a game or something. Or maybe Miss. Kuroi is online on those net games she plays.

I walk outside of my bedroom and into the kitchen, Mum is already cooking.

"Mum, Konata-chan says that Kagami isn't at her place."

Mum nearly drops the knife she is holding. I stare at her expectantly, as she breathes in.

"Could she be at Miyuki-sans?"

"No, we walked home together."

She gives me a look as if to say, what do we do now?

"Tsukasa, could you cook? Tell your sisters what's happened. I'll go out and look."

She doesn't wait for my answer, just walks out of the door. I pad over to the frying pan and continue the cooking.

* * *

Mum still isn't in and it's getting late. I'm getting a little worried. I can't lose my sis and my Mum! To my relief, there is a knock on the door. Matsuri answers it, I'm surprised she bothered - she's been very antisocial lately.

Me, Inori and Dad look over in concern to see Mum by herself. Mum herself, looks like she's going to burst into tears - her face is all crumpled and her fists are clenched together.

"No luck?" Matsuri asks - even though she doesn't seem bothered, judging by the tone of her voice. Stupid Matsuri - this matters!

Mum shakes her head before stepping inside. She sits down besides dad, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Kids, why don't you go outside, or to your bedroom or something."

Inori opens her mouth to protest something along the lines of, I'm not a kid! She's always wanted to be the mature one. Before she can protest, Matsuri drags her out, hissing something about eavesdropping. They both stand outside the door, their ears pressed against it. Matsuri gives me a look.

"Tsukasa, go clean your bedroom."

For a second I nearly do as I'm told. Then I remember how important this is, so I stand next to Inori and put my ear against the door.

Inori, being the tallest, has the best spot, so will probably hear the most. I really wish I were taller sometimes. But then I remember how small Konata-chan is, so I count myself lucky.

"Shhh!" Matsuri growls. "There beginning to talk!"

I never knew that Matsuri could be so forceful! But I decide not to say anything. I'll listen instead.

"I can't find her." Mum says quietly. "Nobody's seen her."

"She's a good girl, she'll come back. I know she will."

I can't help but wonder if my parents would say the same about me. I've always been in my sisters shadow - not that I hated it but I never really enjoyed it either - so much less has been expected of me. So when I do something half decent, people treat me like an idiot - acting as if I don't realise that people have done a lot better than me without putting in any effort.

"But w-why do you think she's gone?" Mum's voice is wavering.

"I don't know…" Dad whispers - so we can scarcely hear him.

"You don't think……she told me she had an argument with Matsuri….And."

I look across at Matsuri, to see that her eyes are narrowed and her teeth are clenched. I think she's trying to restrain herself from bursting into the room and screaming at them. Matsuri has changed so much - I don't understand. Just a few months ago, she was laid back and caring and normal. Now she wastes her life listening to rock music and talks to nobody. Most of the time.

"You think that maybe Matsuri has driven her away?"

This time I look at Inori. She looks nervous - but not the same types of nervous. She looks guilty - nervous. She's shivering a little and her plum hair is covering her eyes - which I know she hates. Usually she would move the curtain of hair - as she calls it - but she seems to be too intent on listening.

"I d-don't know." Mum says gently, nearly a whisper. I never knew they talked about us behind out backs. I wonder what they say about me. But maybe this is just a one off. As in, this is so important we need to talk about it. Well it is very important - to everybody.

"Maybe we should ask her?" Dad sounds so uncertain - I think he's really, really worried. I've never really seen Dad as anything but happy, so I wouldn't know.

"You know what Matsuri's like…" Mum trails off.

Matsuri clenches her first at the comment. She's obviously angry. But she doesn't say anything - just kind of breathes strangely. A little like when that TV star hypernetila-something on TV.

"What do you mean Miki?" Dad asks curiously.

"Well she's stubborn and she won't admit she's wrong."

Poor Matsuri! Mum's just pointing out her faults like how you might point out cakes at a cake shop. If that made sense.

Matsuri swears quietly slamming her hand against the door before turning and walking - very quickly and angrily - off to her room.

Me and Inori do the same - well we both go to out rooms - just before Dad opens the door. Geez, we nearly got caught.

* * *

This chapter goes out to Ctb for the help!


	10. Changes

**Chapter 10**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I sit in my bedroom quietly, not really knowing what to do. I've started my homework - sis would be proud - but I'm stuck. And Inori is talking to Mum and Dad and Matsuri is well, Matsuri is being lazy as far as I know. But, I need to finish my homework. OK, maybe if I knock, then Matsuri will be OK about it. OK, Tsuaksa, lets go!

I open my door quietly, with my homework in hand, and begin to walk down the corridor. I knock on Matsuri's door……No answer…..So I'll have to go in my self.

I go in, Matsuri is lying on the bed. I stare. Is that…blood on her arm?

"M-Matsuri…?"

She turns to face me. She doesn't look mad, I don't think.

"Tsukasa."

I feel the urge to say Matsuri again - like a little bit of a game - but I'm reading the vibe and know it's not the time.

"It's not what you think it is." She says quietly.

How much of an idiot does she think I am? There's blood on her arm and she's holding a drawing pin. I want to look away - I've always had a fear of blood, its so icky! - but I can't. I don't know how I feel about this.

"Y-You cut yourself….?" I ask quietly. I really wish Inori had been available to help with my homework.

"Tsukasa, come sit down…"

I have no idea what that has to do with anything, but I quickly accept the offer. I sit myself far away from her arm, I don't want to look at the blood. I stare straight forward, why does she cut herself?

"Tsukasa…..I'm having a hard time at the moment."

She is so patronising me. I'm not really sure what that means, well I think I know what it means. I'm not going to say it , just in case I get it wrong and I don't make sense.

"I'll tell Inori." I tell her quietly. Inori always does the right thing.

Matsuri narrows her eyes angrily. "Your beloved Inori. Why don't you ask her about Kagami? I'm sure she knows more about than we do."

I shiver. "What do you mean…?" I take the drawing pin from her hand gently, before throwing it on the floor. She stares at it for a few seconds. Yeah Matsuri, mourn your drawing pin but not your missing sister.

"I mean that Inori is not as honest as you might think. I can hear everything that her and Miki are talking about and Inori is in the wrong at the moment."

I stare at her, I want to know more about this. Inori would never do anything wrong. Would she?

"Why do you call Mum by her first name?" I ask curiously. Matsuri never used to do that.

"Because I feel uncomfortable around her."

I still don't understand. "Why..?" I think she'll probably say, Shut up Tsukasa. Maybe not.

"Because I'm the disappointment Tsukasa. I've done many bad things that you probably don't know about. I'm a bad influence. However you won't to put it."

I stare at her. Matsuri?

"What have you done?" I ask quietly, once again, looking at the ground.

She frowns. "Tsukasa, just go listen to what Inori and Miki are talking about."

I nod before walking out the room. I close the door before slowly slouching down until I'm in a sitting position.

* * *

Well, I'm still not sure whether I can trust Matsuri. Or anyone in fact. Except for dad. Dad doesn't seem involved in this very much compared to everybody else.

I have decided to trust Matsuri - this once - and listen to what Inori and Mum are talking about. Maybe it's less about trusting Matsuri, and more abut how curious I am. Either way, I am now outside the door listening.

"Inori…what are you saying?" I hear Mum ask quietly.

"I'm saying that I knew Kagami was going."

Silence. Inori betrayed us! She let Kagami go!? I can't put what I feel into words right now but….I jumps the door opens and Mum stands in front of me.

"Tsukasa?"

I have to make up an excuse quick! OK, seeing as people believe I can cook….

"I was wondering if you two wanted a drink…"

I don't think she believes me. Damn.

"Tsukasa…..Were you…eavesdropping?"

No, no, no! That wasn't supposed to happen! She was supposed to say : Ok, Tsukasa, I'll have a milk tea.

"Yes- No! I'll go to my room…" I sigh. I always get found out. Kagami, she's so clever. She would be able to get away with it.

I shuffle back to my room. Everything's changed. Everybody's different. Matsuri and Inori aren't the same anymore. I….I don't like the new Inori. She let Kagami go! I didn't even get to say goodbye..

I get to my bedroom. I sit at my desk, I lie on the floor, I curl up in my bed, but it doesn't feel right. Not when I know that Kagami is out there somewhere, by herself. And what about Kona-chan and Miyuki? What will they do, what will they think? Finally I hold my knees and start wailing. It feels right.


	11. Regret?

**Chapter 11**

**Kagami**

* * *

I'm so tired. I miss my family. I miss Konata. I sit on my bed unhappily, telling myself not to regret my decision. This was my choice. And I have to stick by it. It's my fault that I'm tired. I'm working three jobs. The two café's sent me to work straight away and I've got a job at this motel. And I forgot to bring my diary with me.

My diary was a way to channel my emotions into something productive. Like when I was angry, instead of smashing up a wall or something, I wrote in my diary. I wrote everything in there. Love, lust, sad, happy, anger. Everything. Sometimes I wrote about what I really think of my family and friends. Sometimes I wrote about school. Sometimes I wrote about my issues with weight. Heck, sometimes I even wrote poems. Its well hidden but If anyone ever found that thing, they'd know everything about me. Everything about what I think and how I act and how I want to better myself. They would know that I cried myself to sleep the day before I left. They'd know that the first time I started thinking about Konata in a new light that I slapped Matsuri for no reason. They would know everything. I left the one link to my past life at home, for anyone to read.

I wonder how Tsuaksa is. She'll be fine without me, I've been telling myself that for the past hour. But, when you know something's fine, you don't need to reassure yourself. You know that it's OK. Like in a dream you don't question reality. I'm lying to myself, but I don't want to believe it.

I want to ring my family. I want to ring Mum, or Dad or Tsukasa or Inori or even Matsuri. I want to talk to Konata about games and listen to Miyuki explaining pointless things. I want to watch Tsukasa struggle with her phone or bake cookies. I want my old life. But as the saying goes, you can't live in the past. But I can't just forget them. It's like there's a string or a chain round my hand that links me to them. As if that chain were incredibly strong, I can't break it. It's impossible. It should'nt matter anymore it's all past for me now.

Now that I'm away from my family, I've had time to think. I should have been closer to my Dad. I never talked to him much - except for at meals. And I should have had pointless girlish chats with Mum. I know that she always wanted a girly girl, but unfortunately she didn't get one. Inori has always been a tomboy and Matsuri has always been….how do I put it? Hardened, is that the word? I myself have always been put under pressure to achieve - even though I doubt my family realise how much pressure is put on me to be clever unlike my twin. Tsukasa has always been the closest to Mum - which in most families is unusual, the youngest daughter being the closet to their mother. - they shared the same interests. They cooked together, the cleaned together, they sat and chatted together. I wonder if they'll have the same relationship now.

Even though I'm complaining about how I didn't share enough time with my mother, we did have a bond. I guess she had a bond with all of us, seeing as we were all her daughters. Geez, I should really shut up! That is enough! Stop! Stop! STOP! I'm being ridiculous. I'm mourning my past even though I should be living in the future. I always wanted to be an adult. Now I am. I pay the bills, I cook, I clean! I switch off the lamp and tuck my self into bed.

I sigh. Can't get to sleep. Luckily, I had already unpacked earlier so I know where everything is. I stumble out of bed and go to the small set of boxes for keeping your belongings in. In the fourth box, I had put all my light novels and books. I take a light novel out before shuffling back to bed and beginning to read.

I read it half heartedly. Usually, this kind of book would make my heart race and I would read it with undying interest. Not tonight. I'm too occupied with my thoughts at the moment. I throw the book on the floor gently and sigh, once again, turning off the lamp.


	12. Findings

**Chapter 12**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

A knock on the door interrupts my wailing. I wipe my eyes and look up.

"Who is it?" I ask quietly, wishing that everything that has happened was all just a dream.

"Inori and Mum." I hear two similar cool voices say in unison. Mum and Inori are so alike. Sometimes it kind of annoys me. I'm the only stupid one in the family. I don't count Matsuri because she's just lazy. Do I let them in? I don't know. They let me down. She let Kagami go. But they are family. I'm arguing with myself.

"Come in if it's important." I sniff. Easy enough.

They both come in, both looking tired and sad. Sometimes, it's like having two sets of twins in the house, they look that alike. Well, if kagami were here, it would be like having two sets of twins in the house.

"What do you want?" I ask angrily, not wanting to talk them. I am very mad with Inori. Very, very mad. I need to question both her and Matsuri. I want answers. Matsuri - despite being lazy - seems to know a lot of family secrets. As she said, she's done a lot of bad stuff. I guess this family is more secretive than I ever imagined. What have I not been told of? I bet Kagami would know. And I bet she would tell me all about. Me and Kagami never kept secrets from each other. Never ever.

"Tsukasa, what's wrong with you? Why were you eavesdropping?" Inori asks bluntly. Well seeing as she was talking about my twin, I think I have the right to know! But I can't say that. I would just get shouted at. Only somebody as clever and as smart as Kagami would get away with it.

"Because Matsuri told me to!" I confess. That is true. Mum shakes her head. I guess her and Matsuri have been having arguments lately or something. Or maybe not so recently. Matsuri did mention that she had done some bad stuff. I have no idea what she means by bad but knowing Matsuri it's more than just cutting herself. That's probably the least of Mum's worries.

"Matsuri has been acting….odd lately." Inori says quietly, obviously choosing her words carefully. I glare at her. Why would you care Inori? As long as you get out of college with a boyfriend and a job, your happy. You don't care, so don't pretend.

"So have you Inori." Mum turns on her. After living in this house for roughly 17 years, I can say that I've never seen mum or Inori have an argument. Even when Inori was a teenager she was perfect. No answering back, no long phone bill, no fights about boyfriends, no hot headed rages or urges for a guy. The complete opposite of Matsuri. Matsuri dealt with all of those things - may I add, in very bad ways. Inori and Mum have always been a team - I've always picked up on that. - they've always been peace makers together. But now they're finally fighting, and lucky me, I get to watch.

"What do you mean?" Inori asks, glancing at Mum in confusion..

"I mean you let my daughter and your sister go." Mum says sourly, looking at me. I can almost see her wishing that I was Kagami. But I'm not. And I never will be. Sometimes I wish I were Kagami. But it's a dream I know I will never fulfil. It's like when I was born, I was the unwanted baggage that was attached to my sister. My parents didn't want twins. Well, that's what I believe.

"It was her choice." Inori protests. Nothing is every Inori's fault. Of course not.

"Her choice as a child, Inori. You are a responsible adult. You should have stopped her." Mum argues with tears in her eyes.

"I did what I thought was best." Inori concludes before walking calmly out of the bedroom. I doubt she cares anymore. She doesn't care about any of us. She's just here for the free food and housing.

Mum glances at me before leaving the room. I'm obviously not important enough for a meaningful conversation.

* * *

I sit in my sisters room unhappily. Matsuri has been giving me glances all night. I don't know why. Inori and Mum are tense around each other and dad is just uninvolved. I wonder how much Kagami meant to him.

My sisters room is very calming. I open her closet and touch her school uniform. Well her summer uniform anyway, she took her winter uniform with her. I hug the uniform and pretend she's there, even though truthfully, I'm hugging air.

I look through her drawers. I pull out everything that ash traces of her in it. Something that looks like a light novel, her old school textbooks, a box of pocky's and even a note she wrote me years ago on our birthday. I decide to read her novel. Just little snippets of it though. I don't think she'll mind. I flip it open on to a random page and begin to read.

_I see her everyday,_

_She always wants to play,_

_She's lazy - but I love her,_

_Anyway,_

_She's one of my friends_

_She follows stupid trends_

_She is a little annoying,_

_But on her I depend._

_She makes me happy._

_Although I'm rather snappy._

_She is my ray of sunshine._

_That sounded sappy._

Wait a sec, this is'nt a novel. Is this....a diary? My sister is not the type who keeps a diary, let alone writes things like this in it! But I have to admit, if she did write this, then she has a side that I have no idea about. This is all so....cute. My sister has never been into things that are cute and fluffly. She's always wanted to study and work hard. I can't believe she wrote this. I wonder what esle she has written in here? And i wonder why she did'nt take this with her. If this is her diary, then she should've taken it with her right? But i should'nt trouble myself with such things tonight. I'm already confused as it is.

I put the diary underneath my arm and pad back to my bedroom. I curl up in my bed and hold it closely, near my heart. I've finally got a tiny, tiny piece of my sister back.


	13. My Kagamin

**Chapter 13**

**Konata**

* * *

I lie on the floor of my bedroom unhappily, wishing that I could just read my manga in peace. I told Yutaka to get lost - which she didn't deserve - and I've shown even more hatred to Dad's clingy nature. So, after that, nobody is bothering me, and I have been left on my own. I can't watch anime. I can't read manga. I can't go online. The events are constantly occurring in my head - I can't get rid of them. I miss my Kagamin.

"_Your what?"_

"_Konata, I'm leaving."_

How could she leave me? Tears sting my eyes as I remember. Why did she have to go? I stare at the phone - her phone - that I'm holding. I wonder if she misses me.

"_One day I'll come and find you Kagami."_

"_One day Konata. One day."_

I wish my arms were still clasped around her waist. I wish that she was still kissing my head. I wish she was here. Kagami smelt nice as well. She smelt of home. She smelt of strawberries and roses and new anime collectable figures. She smelt of everything nice and good.

_I watch as her figure slowly disappears. I lean on the tree unhappily as the tears drip down my face. They taste bitter and sour. I just want to call out her name. Kagami! Kagami! Don't leave! I want her to stop and run back to me. I want her to hug me and shush me and baby me. I want my beloved Kagami to protect me._

I throw the phone on the floor angrily. This is all my fault. I didn't stick up for her enough at school. I didn't do anything when all those….morons, stupid, idiotic morons said all those things. They drove her away! I hate them. I hate them! I curl up on the floor my arms covering my face. My hair lies on my back, like a blue blanket. I wipe my tears away. Kagami wouldn't want me to cry.

_I walk home slowly, the wind biting at my ears and face. Kagami won't actually leave. She can't. She wouldn't leave Tsuaksa or Inori or Matsuri or her parents. She wouldn't leave Miyuki. She wouldn't leave me. I step into my house and sigh, making sure that I don't look like I've been crying. Kagami wouldn't leave me, just like I would never leave her._

If only that were true. She did leave. She has left. I learnt all that from that stupid phone call. The last tiny glimmer of hope I had, was completely destroyed when Tsukasa called - searching for her precious twin.

_The phone vibrates. It rings loudly. Do I pick It up? Yutaka looks at me expecting me to answer it. I pick it up slowly, wiping my nose._

"_Hello?"_

_Oh God, it's Tsuaksa. I can't tell her that Kagami left. It hurts me to believe it. I answer Tsuaksa's questions quietly before putting the phone back into it's cradle._

"_Who was it Konata?" Yutaka asks innocently, not realising that what she's saying is making me want to burst into tears._

"_Kagami's missing." I answer truthfully. I shudder, turning around and heading into my room. Kagami, is now officially missing._

I curl up tighter, my knees up to my face, my toes pointed angrily and my hands clenched into fists. I look at a piece of hair that is hanging on my face. I hold it with two fingers before angrily pulling it out. I wish I had a piece of Kagami's hair. Even if it wouldn't truly be hers. The new dark purple shade of hair. An electronic device is not a very good item to give someone to remember you by. I crawl across the floor and flip up the phone. The screensaver make me a whimper sadly. It's a picture of me and Kagami, wearing our kimono's.

_I stumble into my room, collapsing onto the bed. I roll over once. I roll over twice, but I can't get comfortable. I look at my wall. Pictures of a stupid girl from a stupid anime. Girls in anime don't have to go through things like this, Everything is set out for them. If only my life were like that. Then me and Kagami could be happy. We could tease each other and be in love and all that other stuff. And Kagami wouldn't have died. She would still have her long, lavender pigtails, and twilight eyes. If only I had appreciated her looks, while I had them._

I step out of my room, with a broken phone. The screen is cracked and the image of two girls has one large crack down the middle. One crack, erupts into thousands of tiny cracks. One of those girls in that picture died a long time ago. The other, is slowly dieing inside.

Screw homework. Not like I'll need it. The only thing I need is Kagami, and she's gone. Nobody will miss me, I'm sure. I sigh, looking at the screwed up World History homework on the floor. Me and Kagami would have made history together. Definitly.

_

* * *

_

AN: if you didn't understand sections in italics are flashbacks. Please enjoy.


	14. Inori's Secrets

**Chapter 14**

**Inori**

* * *

So, Mum hates me. That's really helpful. She blames me for Kagami's escape. I can deal with that. It's not like I don't deal with everything in this house already. I deal with my sisters. I deal with the parents. I deal with the guilt. I deal with Matsuri's cutting business. I need to talk to her about that actually. As if I haven't got enough on my plate without Matsuri screwing up her life.

I can remember everything that happened that fateful day. The day my sister died. I can even remember why we were at grandma's now. She wanted to sell it - seeing as she had already bought a new house. We were all supposed to be cleaning. Why Matsuri was cooking I don't know. Tsukasa - being a complete ditz - was at a study session, so wasn't there.

I usually love my trips to Grandma's. I relax in the garden and read a novel. Just like I was doing that day. It was my break. I had cleaned for a few hours so Mum - realising that I had been doing everything - let me have a rest. I pulled out my latest Murder Mystery Romance novel and sat on the grassy lawn. I still can't believe that Grandma left us in charge of her house. Well the house she was selling. Fair enough, with our parents there, most people would think : yes, adult supervision, no need to worry. Obviously, that wasn't the case.

_I smile as the wind whistles past my ear. Sitting on grass helps me relax - especially when it's sunny like today. Kagami and Matsuri are cleaning the kitchen will Mum and dad are cleaning the bedrooms. I, am on break. I flip open the front cover and begin to read. I'm already reading quickly, I love these books. Flip the page……….Flip the page…………..Flip the page…………..Wait. Is that…smoke?_

I still blame myself. Why didn't I notice it earlier? I do have a sense of smell.

_I put my book down gently and calmly, folding over the page a little. I can actually see the smoke now, not just smell it. It's pouring out of a window. Oh God. I quickly rush into the house, smoke fills the room. I cover my nose and mouth with my hand so I don't inhale too much of the deadly grey cloud. Firstly, I frantically run into the kitchen to find a limp Kagami down on the floor, looking pale. I rush over using both hands to pick her up and carry her out of the house. She's bruning. Oh dear God. her body is balckened and limp, her hair is on fire. I cough violently, but still I try not to breathe. I can't see anything beyond my two hands. Beyond Kagami. I push open the kitchen door with one of my legs before running to the front entrance of the house. She'll be OK. I reassure myself quickly, trying to get out of the house. We'll be OK._

To this day, I don't understand what possessed Matsuri to leave her younger sister in a burning house. She cares for her - I know that much -so why would she leave her to die? She never did give me an explanation.

_I sit, shivering next to my parents. The ambulance has arrived. Matsuri is on the other side of me, gazing off into the distance. I have been burnt. Not badly, but burnt. Luckily, I didn't burn too much- which explains why I didn't drop unconscious like Kagami. The ambulance staff call over my parents - who are also damaged - to talk to them._

"_Why did you leave her?" I hiss at Matsuri._

"_I thought she had gone." She answers simply, not taking her gaze off whatever she's looking at._

"_She could die." I tell her angrily. Matsuri , be an adult! Your younger sister could die because of you!_

"_It's not my fault." Is she kidding? It's not her fault? Does it matter!? Nothing is ever Matsuri's fault._

"_It is your fault. Kagami may die because of you wanting to save yourself. I hope your happy Matsuri. You've finally killed your worst enemy." I say loudly, jabbing my finger into her chest before stumbling away from her._

Maybe I was a little harsh. But she needed a wake up call. She left her sister to perish. Maybe that's why she resisted bonding with the new Kagami. I will never understand my sister, so usually I don't attempt too. I need to talk to her - but for some reason I keep putting it off.

I remember the night we were in the hospital. I wish I had never listened to that conversation. That conversation made me look at my parents in a totally new way. I remember peeking through the door, wanting to know what was going on. Matsuri and Tsuaksa - who had been informed - were sat in the corridor, also waiting. Tsuaksa was twiddling with her fingers - trying to take her mind off things - while Matsuri was glaring at me, obviously upset that I had scolded her.

"_We can't do anything to save your daughter.." I hear a doctor mumble as my mother begins to cry quietly. "I'm very sorry. All we can do is ease the pain......She's very badly burnt."_

_I stop listening .So they can't save her. My parents were just saying they could because Tsuaksa was there. Tsukasa - the baby of the family - apparently needs protecting._

_The doctor is stood next to another man. This man has thin grey hair - a receding hair line - and large brown glasses that make his eyes look dull. I don't trust him. He looks like a scheming man in my opinion._

_He smiles at my parents._

"_There, is another option though. I am the head of the Japanese medical experimental institute . I am offering some hope. I heard about your daughter condition on the telephone. I am offering, a new body for your daughter. As she recovers, she will stay at our private clinic - so there's no need to worry."_

_Oh my goodness. This has got to be some kind of sick joke? That's impossible. Too good to be true. Nothing is for free. I want to burst in their and question this man. He did say he was the head of the experimental department. Surely that means he wants to use my sister as a guinea pig._

"_We will record your daughters reactions, just too see if this works. This is part of a large military project - but we need to test the theory. Not only will you be helping your daughter, but you will also be helping your country."_

_My mother looks at my father. My father stares at the man._

_"Is this a joke? Are you trying to be funny? That is impossible!"_

_Mum touches his hand gently, wanting to calm him down._

"_Of course not sir, this surgery is indeed possible. Your daughter would be under surveilance, but would have a new body, another chance. I can not fully explain the proceedure - I am only a representative - but I can assure you, it's all very possible."_

"_But, she lose all her privacy, is that correct?" She asks quietly. I can see her longing for the deal to be made. This is sick. All of it._

_The man nods. "Yes, the one and only draw back."_

_My father stares at the man. He wants his little daughter back, but he does'nt trust him. He interrogates him quickly and angrily, trying to reassure himself that's he's doing the right thing._

_After what felt like an eterinity my father smiles, but looks nervous, shaking the man's hand. My parents have just sold my sisters body._

If I had been a more courageous person, I would have stopped it then. They have been watching my sister. Not just on the outside, but the inside too. I have listened to many more conversations - not just that one. I know too much. But, despite hating the method that was used to save my sister, I have to say, it does show that my family loves her. It's the snowball effect. I should have seen this all coming. Like my family is a small pond. Kagami's death and resurrection is a ripple. And the ripples begin getting bigger and bigger.

The first ripple, is Matsuri. I'm not quite sure what she knows, but she knows something. I really need to talk to her. Why am I putting it off? I don't know. But from now on, it's my top priority.

The second ripple, is Kagami. She left. It was all too much. I wonder how she would have reacted if she knew about her so called 'doctor'. He must have been one of the first people she saw when she woke up. The very thought sickens me.

The third ripple, is Mum. The argument we just had shows that. She's breaking down. Most mother's, they only have to cope with losing their sons and daughters once - if they lose them at all. My mother has lost her daughter twice - and it's definitely affected her. In a short amount of time, she's become pale and tired looking. She hasn't gotten any sleep since Kagami died. I know that because sometimes, I see her late at night, crying in the study. She's breaking down.

And the fourth ripple? I don't know. It could be me, it could be Dad but my bet, is that the fourth ripple, will be Tsukasa. She's already changed a little. She was eavesdropping. She wants to know what happened to Kagami. That's only natural, Kagami was the closest person too Tsuaksa. They were twins, what's to expect? But whatever does happen, I hope she's OK. I do care for her, she just doesn't know it.

* * *

AN; Once again, italics is for flashbacks.


	15. Tsukasa's Day

**Chapter 15**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

Back to school. I sigh. Even if I didn't share a class with my sister, it will still be weird not seeing her at lunch. I accidentally made two bento boxes as well. I'm going to have to get used to making one. I kinda wish I could still make my sister a bento box now and again. Cooking is the only talent I've got, and Kagami always made sure that she appreciated it. Whatever happens today, I know I'm not going to like it.

I walk into the kitchen and grab my bento box, leaving the other on the side board. Matsuri - I didn't realise she was in here - smirks at me as if to say : I am right, you are wrong. I guess she's noticed that I haven't spoken to anyone since last night. And I though Matsuri was lazy, obviously she's a keen observer.

I walk to school. No sign of Konata. I'm lonely. I readjust my ribbon as a gust of wind blows it crooked. Sometimes, I wish that Miyuki walked this way as well. Then all four of us could walk together. Well, if Konata was here and Kagami and Miyuki, then we could all walk together. But at the moment, it's just me, so I guess I should lay the cards I'm dealt with.

I shuffle in the classroom, as usual, Nanako is late, and the room is filled with chatter. I see Miyuki at her desk, she's looking all zoned out. She's just staring into the distance, twiddling a strand of pink hair around her fingers. No Konata. Konata's never really off school. Usually she's just late. So there's a chance that she still might come. I walk across to Miyuki, who smiles at me pleasantly.

"Hello Hiiragi-chan."

I've never understood why Miyuki is always so formal. Is it because she's rich? Genetics? Either way, it's always kind of freaked me out. Every morning you walk up to your friend, and they use your last name. I really wish she'd just call me Tsukasa or Tsukasa-chan. But I don't want to offend her.

"Hey, Miyuki."

"Did you do that homework?" She asks, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"No."

She looks at me in surprise. Tsukasa always does her homework. For Miyuki, this is the kind of stunt Izumi would pull.

"Why ever not?" She asks me, once again fiddling with her glasses.

"I couldn't be bothered." I answer truthfully before walking to my desk. I sit with my arms crossed and my legs folded. I really wish, that I didn't have to go to school.

* * *

Nanako rushes in, late as usual.

"Howdy guys!" She rubs the back of her head, embarrassed that she can't be on time. "Sorry I'm late, let's do register!"

I sometimes wonder where she gets her energy from. She's always so….annoyingly energetic. She should be groggy, after being up all night checking books and playing online.

"Izumi!? Izumi?" Her loud voice fills the classroom.

So, Konata's not coming. I wonder what's wrong. I doubt she's had it any tougher than me. Knowing her, she's blaming it on May sickness or something - even though it's winter.

"Hiiragi?"

I put my hand up timidly. "Here." Usually, I would say something like 'Good Morning' but not today. Today's not good. And if Nanako got her any later, there would be no point saying morning. Exaggerating a little but, she should be on time like all the other respectable teachers. But then again, she's hardly respectable.

* * *

So, today it's only me and Miyuki eating. Well, this really will be interesting. Usually, me and Miyuki are the quietest members of the group, meaning without the other two, there might not be any conversation.

"Where's Kagami…?" Miyuki asks innocently. Miyuki seems to be the only person who cares.

"She's disappeared." I say quietly, staring into my rice. Miyuki puts a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm very sorry Tsukasa. But we'll find her."

* * *

After the terrible start to the conversation, me and Miyuki are really having a laugh. I never knew Miyuki could be so vulgar at the table! But, if it makes for a good chat, then I'm happy. Suddenly, we are interrupted by Misao, and a bunch of people I don't know. Ayano is not among them.

"Where's FrankenKagami?" Asks Misao loudly, so that everybody can hear. Miyuki glances at me sympathetically, as if asking : Do you want me to handle this? I shake my head and look at Misao. I should call her Monster-Misao. But what good would that do? She's really annoyed me.

"She's gone missing." I tell her firmly and calmly, clenching my hands into fists and then unclenching them.

Misao bursts out laughing. "Yahoo!" She yelps. "Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead, and missing!"

She didn't just say that. She did not just say that. Her posse begin to laugh loudly, except for one or two at the back, who seem nervous.

"Ha-ha! The angry Hiiragi has finally gone! For the second time!" Misao celebrates loudly. The whole class is staring at either me or Misao.

I stand up, knocking my chair to the side. I grab her shirt tightly and push my face next to hers.

"Don't EVER say that about my sister again! Do you hear me, Misao?"

Misao nods quickly. I let go of her shirt and sit back down, once again clenching and unclenching my fists., She deserved that. Misao and her group scramble out of the room, Misao saying something about the rage of Hiiragi. Miyuki smiles at me gently.

"Don't let her get to you."

Miyuki, and her words of advice.

* * *

At this rate, I'll be in counselling by the end of the week. Unfortunately, a letter is going to be sent to my parents after my little show with Misao. Turns out, one of the kids told Nanako. So now, she decides to be a responsible adult. Apparently, if I'd punched Misao, or hurt her, I would have been in counselling by the end of this week. This sucks.

I walk home slowly, hoping the dreaded letter has not arrived. It'll probably arrive tomorrow .I walk half the way home, before breaking into a jog. If the letter is there, I could rip it up!

When I arrive home, we have received no letters. They've probably sent my parents an email. I should have figured that one out. Well, I guess that means I'm done for.

I look into the kitchen to see the great Inori sat on a chair reading a fashion magazine. I didn't realise Inori even read that kind of stuff. Maybe if the magazine was entitled: The classic books of the 15 century, then I wouldn't be surprised.

"Hey Tsuaksa." She looks up from her magazine and smiles.

I frown back. " Hiiragi." I don't want to call her by her first name just because I'm angry with her. I hope she gets the hint.

She stares at me. "What's up with you?"

Is she really heartless?

"Check Mum's email, if your acctually bothered." I sigh padding to the bathroom. The room with a lock. I lock the door and sit on the toilet - obviously with the seat down - holding my knees to my face. It's so much easier to lie to Inori than it is to Matsuri. Matsuri's a good liar and can spot whether your speaking the truth. Inori however, has never felt the need to lie in her life, so she can't tell.

Kagami, I miss you so much. I wish you had told me that you were leaving. I wonder if you did tell anybody? Probably not. I wish you'd told me why you left. Then maybe I could get to sleep at night. I hope you OK Kagami. I hope your OK.


	16. Miyuki's Thoughts

**Chapter 16**

**Miyuki**

* * *

So Kagami's missing? Then again, it doesn't take a genius to figure out why she left - and I'm no genius, whatever my friends may think. I'll miss Kagami. To be honest, I've always felt like we were similar - sensible, and hardworking, unlike those two lovable slackers! On a more serious not though, I will worry about her. That's for sure. I hope she's OK wherever she is.

Konata will be heartbroken, if she hasn't already heard - which I assume she has. I doubt that Kagami would leave without telling her little blue haired lover. They were always so easy to read. Just like my mother, actually. I could tell just by their body language towards each other. I'm not just book-smart.

Tsukasa also seems to be reacting badly. That poor girl. Losing her irreplaceable twin. Obviously, I wouldn't know much about that. It's always just been me and my mother. No siblings. I'm still getting over the fact that Tsuaksa stood up for herself. She's always relied on Kagami. Despite the obvious down sides, this may have a tiny good effect - obviously not as good as having Kagami around. Tsukasa stood up to Misao today - maybe not in the best way , but it still counts! Tsukasa is undergoing a large change. For better or for worse, it can't be stopped. I just hope Tsuaksa will be fine emotionally. Me and Tsuaksa are very different people, so it's a little hard for me to relate to her and put myself in her shoes - except for when we converse about the dentist! So obviously, it's hard to think about what the loss of her sister will do to her.

I sit on my bed, pulling off my school shirt and putting on a sweater. I change my school skirt to a plain blue skirt before sitting at my computer and playing a quick game of solitaire. Hard mode always relaxes me, well takes my mind off the troubles of the world. Even though of course, one can never truly escape the pressure of reality. Sometimes I really long to do so.

I slowly walk down stairs, placing a drink in the microwave. Usually, I would talk to my mother about the things that are troubling me - but unfortunately it seems her conversation with a telemarketer is in full flow, so I don't want to disturb her - but she is busy. And maybe this matter is a little…..how shall I put it? A little depressing for my mother. My mother - being an open book person - might begin to cry, even though she does not know Kagami that well. I don't want to trouble her after all, she is the only one I've got really.

Oh dear! It seems I've forgotten about my drink. I press the microwave button again - I had been so deep in thought, I must have not heard the microwave beep. I watch the cup slowly spin as it is heated, I'll try not to get to caught up in my thoughts. I hear the microwave beep so I take out my cup and take a long sip. Very nice. I think I might go take a bath and then do some coursework. Even if Konata doesn't want to get into college, I do! I'll make sure they both get in, if they'll let me. Study sessions are most definitely needed - to be polite about it.

* * *

I smile, a bath was what I needed. I sit in my pyjama's, at my desk trying to get some of this work done. I've been doing it for a few hours. And I need to get to bed soon, it's nearly 10:00PM. But maybe I should take a page out of Konata-chan's book and stay up a little later. I could continue with my work and get most of it done quickly. My thoughts are interrupted as I yawn. Maybe it will be harder than I thought to change my sleeping pattern.

* * *

AN: I'm sorry if anyone really hates short chapters ): but on the up side, the next one should be longer C:


	17. Emails

**Chapter 17**

**Inori**

* * *

Guessing Tsukasa's had a bad day then. If I actually care - Of course I care. Should I speak to her? Or would that just fuel more bad feelings? Maybe it's best not to talk to her. Especially seeing as she didn't even bother to use my first name. Seriously? Is she going to start calling me Hiiragi all the time now? I hope not. I don't know why Tsukasa's making me look like the bad guy in this. And Matsuri. And Mum. Because I'm not a villainous devil trying to break the family up. I'm the person who's trying to make it all better for God's sake. I tap my fountain pen on the table angrily before realising that Mum is actually in the house. I had forgotten all about her. I wish she would deal with my sisters instead of me.

Anyway, I better check the computer or whatever. I wonder what Tsuaksa's got herself into. She's always been ditzy, but not enough to land her into trouble or anything. Why do I even care? Tsukasa's in trouble, not me. Matsuri's the lost cause, not me. So why do I care? Because I should. Or shouldn't I?

Ok, computer. I step towards the computer and log onto my Mum's account. At least she trusts me with her password. Then again I don't see why not, she entrusts me with everything else. I get her email up and log in quickly. I doubt Mum even knows how to get on to her email - that would explain why her inbox is filled with a load of spam. OK, I'm guessing that I'm looking for an email from the school. Aha, Miss Nanako Kuroi.

Nanako Kuroi. God I hated her - hate is a strong word so I'll choose dislike her. God, I really disliked her. I remember those stupid word history classes we had. That woman was always so whimsical as well. She would spout utter rubbish. I always thought she was drugged up on something. She would be late everyday and then apologize and day 'sorry I was up all night playing games'. What kind of games were they I wonder. Not that I would want to know.

I click on the email curiously wondering what could have been so important that Kuroi would want to take the role of a responsible teacher - which she isn't. I begin to read.

_Dear Mr and Mrs Hiiragi._

_Tsukasa participated in a fight today. She will be expected to attend a detention on Friday. Please talk to her about fighting and why it should not be done._

_N. Kuroi._

Well, that's surprising. Spineless Tsukasa got into a fight? She stood up for herself? I wonder what made her so angry. The closest I've ever seen Tsukasa to fighting was when Kagami said that some recipe used margarine instead of butter. Tsukasa was right though - the recipe did use butter after all. The one thing Tsukasa's good at is cooking - honestly, the whole family was surprised when she got into school. Except Kagami. Kagami and Tsukasa, double trouble. Kagami with her furious temper and Tsukasa, the deadly ditz. My secret nicknames.

Right, lets weigh up my options. Do I A: tell Mum. Do I B: talk to Tsukasa. Or C: Do I ignore the whole thing. Or D: Do I make up some excuse and chat to Kuroi.

Ok, lets start with A. Maybe telling Mum isn't such a great idea. She's stressed. She's depressed. And she's taken up meditation. Plus, if I told her, she would shoot the messenger - meaning she would totally pin the blame on me and say I've influenced poor little Tsukasa. So, I probably won't be doing that any time soon.

Option B. I will talk to Tsuaksa just maybe not right now. After she's calmed down a little. OK, so I'll be all calm and everything and I won't shout and I won't patronise her. Which is hard to do seeing as half the time, she doesn't realize that I'm actually patronising her.

C. I shouldn't ignore the whole thing. If I could ignore things while being responsible I would. If I could ignore Kagami leaving then I would. I would pretend that she would be here still. But then I'd be an utter lunatic - which I can't be at the moment seeing as all the women in this house are losing it already.

Option D could work I guess. I'll see how it goes with Tsuaksa and then if it goes terribly then I'll talk to Kuroi. Usually I would try to avoid talking to Kuroi at all costs - I mean, who wants to waste their time talking to an idiot. But I guess, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Is Tsukasa still in the bathroom I wonder? I will go talk to her, I just hope I'm doing the right thing.


	18. Hard Days

**Chapter 18 **

**Kagami**

* * *

Once again, I find myself flat out on the bed, exhausted after work. It's time like this where I miss Konata and school. But mostly Konata. I get off the bed and stretch my back, satisfied as I hear a loud crack. I move my head, making my neck feel light and less tense.

"_Ok Kasumi, today you'll be dancing."_

_I'm so glad that I signed my jobs with an fake name, But dancing? Everybody knows I can't dance. Let alone sing! Sometimes I wonder whether this job is really worth it._

It is worth it. Most definitely. To not be alienated and bullied in my own school is not right. But of course, there are down signs. I'm alone at home all the time, it's nice to have privacy but when everything is deadly silent it's a little creepy. Not that I'm scared. But honestly, loneliness is slightly - slightly as in the tiniest littlest bit - scary. Konata was right whenever she teased me and said that my worst fear was being lonely. I guess that's what comes from living with a big family. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm……into Konata - living with four other girls and everything. Not that I care or anything. Honestly.

"_Kasumi, pour this drink over that guy's head!" The manager exclaimed happily, pointing to an overweight nerdy looking man sat in a dark corner with his laptop._

_I sigh. "Isn't that going a little overboard with tsundere? I mean I don't think the guy would appreciate-"_

_I am suddenly cut off by the manager._

"_He would love it!"_

Even for a maid café', isn't it a little overboard throwing an iced tea down someone's back? Despite that, the guy seemed perfectly happy with his order slipping down his shirt, rather than his throat.

"_I'm sorry about this." I mumble, embarrassed that I'm even doing this._

"_For wha-" He asks just before I throw a glass of iced tea down his back. Rather than look up in surprise, the customers clap my little performance. Strange, strange customers. The nerdy man seems like a perfectly nice guy - despite being a little chubby - and most probably didn't deserve that._

_He gives me a toothy grin. "I'm glad I ordered tsundere."_

All I can say is yuck. He ordered me? I sound like a wonderful salad or something. For him to nibble on rather than speak to. Even though at the time I thought he was a perfectly nice guy, now I'm thinking he's a woman seeking geek. Like most of the customers at Konata's café'.

I stumble out of bed and can't help but look at myself in the mirror. When people find mirrors they want to look at themselves in them - especially vain people. I myself, am not vain but like the majority of people, I am drawn to mirrors. I stare at the reflection sadly. I wish I hadn't looked in now.

My dark hair is messy, my two pigtails hanging limply at my sides. Underneath my eyes, there are two matching dark rings, signifying my lack of sleep lately. I also look pale, my skin looking in desperate need of some kind of cream. My mouth looks like it's set in a firm frown, my lips are chapped. To my surprise, I'm also looking thinner, and even a little taller. I guess that's what comes from not having Tsukasa to fatten me up.

Thinking of Tsuaksa, I wonder how she is. Not that I have any reason she would be doing badly or anything. I can't help but wonder if Matsuri has stopped that ridiculous habit of hers. I wonder if Inori is coping - but then again Inori's always been a bit of a fortress, protecting the family. Kind of. I have no doubt in my mind that Miyuki won't be OK. Knowing her, she'll be calmly sipping tea right now, thinking about Einstein's theory's or something else which requires lots of brain power. Konata will be playing games with her dad, even though she should be doing homework. Not that I ever thought that she'd do her homework……Maybe I have thought that she'd give up games for me…..but it's like asking me to give up life I guess. It won't happen.

"_Kasumi! Time to dance! Track number three."_

_The manager probably knows all the tracks off by heart. I heard that he's worked here for twenty years. Which is quite sad, seeing as he only looks about forty. Then again, as long as he's having….fun. Enjoying work and all. Not that I do._

_I stumble up on stage with my colleague . She's dressed up as some equally perfect character. There's four, no five of us in total on stage. I'm stood next to a girl who looks quite similar to myself - my cosplay self anyway - who's wearing small cat ears. Next to her is a girl wearing a short brown wig and holding a heavy looking guitar. On the other side of me, is my best friend here - Mikuru - who's wearing a blonde wig. She's holding a tea cup? How does any of this make sense? On her left, there's a girl holding a pair of drumsticks. I will never understand the world of anime - is this about tea or music?_

_After the dance is over, I can't help but laugh. How am I the only one who's even remotely embarrassed? All the other girls seem to have taken this in their stride - easily dancing. Luckily, I was saved from signing. The girl with the guitar smiled at me and said it was her track - thank God._

I still can't believe I even did that. Konata would be laughing so much if she knew. My secret performance. But I know I can tell her everything, especially if she's in a serious mood. Not that she's in one very often, that little squirt.

I smile, flopping back onto my bed. Even though it's early, I find myself drifting off to sleep. I haven't been to sleep this early since I was seven. But who cares? I need all the sleep I can get.

* * *

AN: italics are flashbacks again :)


	19. Water Helps

**Chapter 19**

**Miki**

* * *

I try to concentrate on the pose. Yoga is supposed to help people - like me - de-stress. Please work. Once again I stare at the yoga booklet, in complete awe that people can twist their body into such shapes. How am I supposed to get myself into that shape? I'll end up looking like a pretzel. Which is not what most respectable women look like.

Eventually I grin, flop down on my back. Having achieved nothing during my yoga session, I'm thinking about having a bath. That would be nice. Especially if all the hot waters not used up, seeing as certain daughters use way too much water. Do I even have time to have a bath? Don't I have to make dinner? I still feel a little guilty making Tsuaksa make it a few nights ago. But, I guess she does like to make dinner. OK then, I'll have a bath.

I turn the hot water tap on and listen to the water as it flows out of the tap. I've always liked to run my bath's slowly since I was a child. The sound of the water helps me think much more than silence. Or yoga. I smile sitting on the edge of the bath.

I hear someone sigh outside my room. I can pretty much tell my daughters apart on anything. And that sigh is most definitely Inori. Some mother's find it amazing that I can tell my daughters apart on something so insignificant as a sigh. I guess I just have a close bond with each of my four girls.

Most people assume that seeing as Inori is the oldest, I will be closest to her. Not necessarily. Even though me and her are very, very similar, sometimes she can be so different. Like me, she can appear to be in a world of her own, distant and sleepy looking. But unlike me, she's not afraid to state her opinions to anyone who will listen - even if that listener happens to be ridiculously important. She's a good girl - don't' get me wrong. But sometimes I feel like she's being polite on the outside but being spiteful and angry on the inside. After she told me that she had let Kagami go, I didn't know what to think. Am I becoming bitter towards her? Or am I judging a book by it's cover - meaning that I'm just thinking that she let my daughter go, and not wondering why. That's probably the answer. Maybe I've pressured her. Set her expectations too high. I've always just kind of…..expected more from her. Maybe….just maybe….this is my fault.

_Gurgle……_As I expected, the water is clearing my mind and helping me think.

Strangely, Matsuri comes to mind. Matsuri, is not a person who I would associate with water. More like fire. She is fiery - now more than ever. She's always had a large temper and a tendency to lose it. She's a special girl. But what she does in her bedroom, I don't know anymore. There's always music blasting out of the door, and if ever the door is opened, it is immediately closed. She doesn't even call me 'Mum' anymore - which I don't understand. Why would she call me by my first name? Should I start calling her Hiiragi instead of Matsuri? The again, I don't want to annoy her. I hardly ever see her anymore.

The water burbles, spilling into the bathtub.

I wonder how Kagami is? I'm making it sound like she's gone on a pleasant trip. I wish. I have no idea where she is. Or what she's doing. Or who she's with. I hope she hasn't got herself into any trouble. Not that I think she has. Kagami's my responsible daughter - I know that. She's sensible and clever. I just want to see her again. To see her cringe as she checks Tsuaksa's homework and see her munch on those treats she likes. I desperately want to see her again. But….if she left….she couldn't have been happy, right? I know her well enough to know that she always thinks things though carefully before doing anything rash. I'm being selfish, wanting her to come home. I just want to see her again. If I see her one more time, I'll be happy. I feel my face crumple, as if I'm going to cry. I shake my head fiercely, refusing to let any tears spill out.

The of course, there's my youngest daughter Tsukasa. Obviously, I don't have a favourite daughter, but me and Tsukasa are the closest. We do a lot of house work together; cooking and cleaning and baking. Tsukasa is an exceptional cook for her age. She is already better than everybody else. She's a hardworking kid, I'm sure of it. She tries hard with her homework, even though she doesn't find it easy. And that's more than I can say for Matsuri, who can be amazingly lazy. Tsukasa has a nice group of friends and I'm determined to get he into college. Not saying that I doubt her abilities one bit. Tsukasa is also calm - like me - especially when she's compared to her twin.

I suddenly realise how high the bath waters got. I frantically turn off the taps and smile. I always knew that water helped me think. But in the beck of my mind I know that really, I should evaluate my self. As a mother, as a friend as an overall person. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm any good as any of them.


	20. Small Potatoes?

**Chapter 20**

**Inori**

* * *

I guess I'll go talk to Tsukasa now. Not that I'm looking forward to it. But I've promised myself that I'll stick to the expression ' you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.' If I'm sweet to her then she'll be more likely to explain why she's beaten up an innocent teenager. Why can't one of my sisters be normal? I wish Tsukasa would keep out of trouble. But wishing for things won't make them so - which is why life can really suck sometimes.

I walk slowly down the corridor, hearing the familiar sniffles of Tsukasa. Tsukasa seems to be one of those people who apparently benefits from breaking down by themselves and crying for vast periods of time. I am not. That plan has many flaws. For one, the only thing crying ever really does is give you a headache and a runny nose. And sitting by yourself in a room is just plain antisocial.

I knock on the door gently. Of all rooms in this house, why did she have to pick the one with the lock in it? Now I have to wait for her to open the door, and seeing as Tsukasa has decided to be unpredictable, that's not very helpful.

"Who the hell is it?" She asks quietly. I think she's gotten over her crying. Or she's wiped her nose.

"Inori." I say in my best soft tone of voice. I have to be honey rather than vinegar. Even though, I guess if I were balsamic vinegar, Tsukasa would repeat my name a few times and be all smiles. But I'm not balsamic vinegar, or honey in fact. I'm a girl who has to be nice and perfect.

The lock makes a loud crack as it is pulled backwards. So she's let me in. That was simple. She opens it slightly, so I can see her face, but nothing else. Well, I know she's been crying. Her eyes are rimmed with red, and she looks tired.

"Did you read it then?" She asks, indicating that she's talking about the email.

I nod. "I'm not here to shout at you." I say, my voice full of promise.

"I never said you would." She says before picking up what seems to be a light novel. I've never understood why anyone reads that rubbish. I hate them. People who read them might as well be wasting their lives on the internet. Seriously, a light novel? Why don't you just read an actually novel?

Either way, I soon find myself inside Tsukasa's bedroom. I've always loved having younger sisters for one big reason : Anything you don't want, dump it off to them. I used to do that to Kagami all the time. Yep, my own personal dumping ground.

I jump as I see Tsukasa step into the room. She sits down next to me on the bed - even though she seems reluctant.

"What happened, sis?" I ask gently, using Tsukasa's all time favourite catch-phrase.

She gives me a glare. If she goes all moody on me I swear I will scream.

"Don't patronise me."

I didn't realise Tsukasa could handle long words. What did she do, swallow a dictionary?

"I'm not. I'm asking what happened." I reply calmly.

"A girl commented on something and I got mad. Simple. You've had you fun, so you can leave"

Geez, am I talking to Matsuri here? Honestly, I'm not in the mood for a moody hormonal girl.

"Tsukasa, what made you get so mad?" Wow, at this rate, I'll be a physiatrist soon. Ha-ha.

"Nobody should comment on Kagami like that."

Why didn't I guess? Had to be a comment on Kagami. We sit in silence for a while, we both don't know what to say. Plus, I'm worried that if I open my mouth, something sinister or mean will pop out - and wouldn't that just ruin mission bee like honey? Bee….

Eventually Tsukasa speaks.

"I've got homework. And your never any help." First of all I'm not sure whether she's kidding or not. Then she gives me a scowl, so I leave. God, I really hope that she was the lesser of two evils in that fight. Please? I'm realy hoping that Matsuri is'nt as moody.

* * *

Matsuri, why do you listen to rubbish music? Why do you insist of hurting yourself? Why do you call Mum by her first name? Why are you such a moron?

I have no doubt that if I asked these questions to her face, I would end up with a large bruise - or a bloody nose. Or maybe if she's feeling a little creative, a mark in the shape of an M!

I knock on the door loudly, hoping that my feeble knock can be heard over that music! How is she not deaf yet? First of all, there's no reply. Am I going to have to bust in there myself? Because I will. I have a completely different plan of action with Matsuri. This time, it's all facts. None of that honey and vinegar business. No, no no.

After waiting for a few minutes, I just walk in. I'm not invited and I don't care. As I expected, she's not doing any work or anything. She's just sat on her bed doing nothing. Wow, I love having such a productive person in the house.

"Who invited you?" She frowns at me.

I'm getting straight to the point.

"Why have you been so standoffish lately." I ask coldly.

She glares at me as if to say, no long words allowed. She's in college, she should know what that means! I remember her being asked to _look it up_..

"Inori, leave."

I've only been here five seconds and I've upset her by using a long word.

"Not until you stop cutting yourself." I say quietly, slightly oblivious to the fact that even if I shouted, no one would hear me.

She waves a stained red pin at me.

"Not a chance goody two shoes."

How childish. I rush over and try to grab the pin, but she's too quick. She's waves it around in my face before bringing it down on her arm. I flinch as her eyes close in pain.

"Come now Inori, leave your sister alone!" She smirks at me, imitating mum. What a bad impression.

Once again, I find myself rushing over trying to steal the pin. In an attempt to snatch it off her, I prick my finger. I frown, staring at the tiny trickle of blood. I shove my finger into my mouth, and begin to suck furiously, giving my sister a look, as if to say: that's _your_ fault.

She looks back in interest, her eyes locking on to mine. I suddenly want to turn away, her wide eyes staring at me.

"Did it feel good?" She asks softly, once again smirking. I want to wipe that stupid little smirk right off her stupid little face.

"What kind of question is that?" I snarl back to her. It her fault my finger is bleeding anyway.

"On the topic of questions, I've got a lot to ask _you_."

What am I, evil intelligence? Then again, sometimes it seems like I _am_ the only source of intelligence in this house. Which is really, _really_ sad, seeing as there are five people who currently live in this house.

"Oh yeah?" I ask gruffly, leaning on the door, blocking any escape routes she's got planned. I wouldn't be surprised if she burned if she went outside anyway, how many days since she's seen the sun I wonder.

"I'll stop cutting myself." She pauses dramatically. "If, you tell me everything you know about what actually happened to Kagami."

Now the conversation with Tsukasa seems like small potatoes. I sigh. Is it really worth it, telling my sister _everything? _I sigh and sit down on the bed. This is a bit of a Hobson's choice really, isn't it? Now, I tell her everything and it seems like I've got a lot of explaining to do.


	21. Detective Tsukasa

**Chapter 21**

**Tsukasa**

I can't get comfortable on the bed - it feels starngely lumpy. Or maybe that's just the churning sensation inside my stomach.I didn't actually expect her to _read_ the email. Is that out of character for her? I've never been close to Inori so how would I know? She's always been too busy doing something or other for me to actually properly get to know her. When I was younger ( when she was in primary school) it was homework that she was busy with. Then when she was a teenager it was either hanging out with friend or a certain secret boyfriend which our parents never found out about. I'm not even sure if _Kagami _knew about that. And if Kagami doesn't know about something, then someone has been keeping a good secret. To bad Inori didn't check to see if I was in the room while she was flirting on the phone, huh? Now that she's in college it's back to I'm-to-busy-working excuse.

_I flick through the pages of the diary while sitting on the edge of the bath. OK, what page am I on? I've read quite a lot of it now. Mostly, it's just poems, and the things people usually find in dairies. I did find something interesting though. A password to my sisters email. Her password is Osaka. Trust my sister to pick a password like that. My password is sugar._

I get up lazily and walk down the corridor. I pass Matsuri's room before stopping abruptly. Is it just me or is the music a _lot _quieter than usual? I step back a little, pressing my ear against the door. I take my bow out of my hair and drop it on the ground. That way, if the door opens unexpectedly, I can always say that I just came for the bow. The last time I used this trick was when I was eight, and wanted to see what my parents were planning for my birthday. Of course, being a good trick, it works.

I press my ear harder against the door, wanting to know what's going on. This doesn't make sense at all. Matsuri doesn't speak to anyone at any time. End of. What is she even listening too? When I was in her room, I looked at a few of her CD's and they have the most depressing names labelled on them. Most of them had words like death, blood, eternity, and weeping along the back. And honestly most of them make me _feel_ like weeping. The all sound like the vocalist is burning somewhere. The guitarists are fine, if they don't go completely crazy from being in the same band as the vocalist. The drummers are well….completely insane. I don't know how they beat that fast or how they keep in time - it's hard to believe that half the songs even have a structure - but they do. And then people like Matsuri buy there CD's and hide in their room's, letting the music deafen them. Fun.

But back to the mystery. Why is the music so low? Detective Tsukasa is back to eavesdropping - my speciality. I listen, carefully, trying to block the music out of my ears - which is hard to do.

_I'll go on her email later. Seeing as Mum is playing happy families, Inori's playing evil peace maker and Matsuri's playing heavy metal chick, why don't I play at being detective?_

"Go on then. Tell me all about it Inori." Matsuri's strong voice cuts through the music. With that voice, she could be in some of that music. But, Inori's in there? Is Matsuri finally taking a prisoner? No, that wouldn't work. Inori would be the hardest prisoner to control. If Matsuri was going to take a prisoner then she would take either me or Mum. But Mum would probably annoy her to death, so yeah, she would take me. And it looks like I haven't been abducted yet.

_A knock on the door makes me frown. Who is it and what do they want? I open the door slightly, to see Inori grinning stupidly. I'm not going to ask. But I do._

"_Did you read it then?" I ask reluctantly, a little annoyed with myself that I asked. I should've left it. I shouldn't of told her about the stupid email in the first place._

"What do you want to know?" Inori asks finally. I have just noticed that it took her ages to reply. I've never seen Inori lost for words. Whatever Matsuri's done, Inori doesn't know what to say.

"What happened That Day."

That Day - I guess - refers to the day when Kagami's life changed. The day when our perfect family was flawed. The day I wish had never had the chance to happen. But it did.

"Well, I only know _half _of it Matsuri. _You're_ the one who left her there."

Wait, hold up! What was that!? She left her there. I wasn't there that day, but I know who that her is. It's got to be Kagami. She left her there…? Neither of them say anything for a few seconds.

"I thought she had left Inori. Don't try to pin this on me. _I'm _asking _you _questions."

"I'm waiting." Inori says. Even though she sounds arrogant …she sounds….weak in a way.

"Fine. What really happened at the hospital. And don't give me any nonsense. I know when your lying."

That's the trouble with Matsuri. She does know when people are lying. It's her special skill. But she can lie, you can never trust her. Which is a problem when you want her to do something. Especially seeing as Matsuri's a person who will get something of you, then not do her half of the bargain. She's such a con artist.

"Why do you think I know?" Inori asks suspiciously. Oh, come on Inori. If anybody knows anything then it's you. Most definitely. But if Inori doesn't know something, then Matsuri does. I know that Matsuri had words with Inori about her secret boyfriend a few years back.

"Because Inori's perfect. If something's amiss, Inori knows what." Matsuri recites. I've got a feeling that that's the closest to a motto Matsuri has. Sometimes it's hard to believe that Matsuri's world doesn't revolve around trying to figure out her older sister.

"That's not true! I'm not the bad guy here!" Inori protests. But, she didn't call you the bad guy Inori. Are you really that paranoid?

"Explain everything, and I'll believe you." Matsuri says coolly.

I wonder what Inori has to explain. Of course, I know lots of things that she could explain about. She could explain about the time she got drunk and had to sleep in my bedroom. She could explain about the time when she went out and had _lots_ of fun - I find that one quite funny, seeing as Mum and dad didn't even realise she had a boyfriend. When people think you are stupid, they don't expect you to know their secrets - they don't watch out for you, instead they watch for Matsuri. They don't lie to you, instead they put it in simple terms and wait for you to nod your head. And, they don't expect you to reveal their secrets or even think about them.

"Well…..at the hospital, Kagami was going to die. I assume that you guessed that - you probably thought about it a lot. Mum and Dad were distraught, not knowing what to do. A man from some medical research place offered a solution, the new body. But….they would be keeping a very close eye on Kagami - and the rest of us. That's it Matsuri. Happy?"

That's a lot to take in - especially for my primitive brain, as Inori might put it. Honestly, in a very strange way, I'm not surprised. But I'm disgusted. They've been watching us. Not that there's anything to see.

"You don't acctually belive that crap do you?" Matsuri still believes Kagami is dead. And she thinks that Inori should know that.

"Kagami is _alive_, Matsuri. And she's alone, in some big city."

"And whose fault is that, Inori?" Matsuri questions her. She's got a good point though. It is Inori's fault.

"It was Kagami's descion. She wanted to leave." Inori protests, angry that for once, this is all her fault.

"Well, Miki definitly think's you've been a moron."

"And what would our mother know!?" Inori growls loudly before everything goes silent - apart from the music. Nobody can believe she just said that. Judging by the silence, not even Inori can believe she said that.

"And what do you mean, they've been 'keeping an eye on us?'" Matsuri asks, finally breaking the long tense silence.

"I mean they've been watching the house."

That's disgusting. It's wrong. A violation of privacy.

I pick up my bow walk calmly into the room.

"Thanks for the information, _sis_."


	22. Hatred

****

****

**Chapter 22**

**Matsuri**

**

* * *

**

I can't help but smirk as I see Tsukasa in the room. This is great. Inori's worst nightmare has come true. If she didn't want me to know anything about Kagami, I doubt that she would want everything to be revealed to Tsukasa. This is just classic. I watch Inori. Her mouth is slightly open in surprise. She's half staring , half glaring at Tsukasa. Before she can say anything, I open my mouth to speak.

"You crafty thing." I comment. Honestly I want to laugh. If it were anyone except Tsukasa, then it wouldn't funny.

"Matsuri, this isn't funny!" Inori jabs my arm angrily. I try to enjoy the slight pain because really, this is the closest to a pin I'm ever going to get until I leave this house. "Tsukasa has been eavesdropping!"

Oh no! Not eavesdropping! She's acting like it's some kind of worldwide crime. And from the way she's looking at me I can tell she's thinking - this is the type of thing you do! Not Tsukasa! I shrug at her. Sorry Inori, I'm just not surprised. Tsukasa would have found out sooner or later.

"Inori she would have found out." I tell her firmly. It's true. She turns on me, glaring, her eyes looking fiery.

"Neither of you were supposed to find out! Your both so childish!" She says, her fists clenched. I've never seen her so angry in my life.

"Inori shut up. Your being rude. Your not supposed to keep secrets anyway." Tsukasa intervenes loudly. Inori turns back to her, her eyes till set firmly in a glare. Despite this being a very good point, Inori is obviously to angry to even consider calming down.

"Your lecturing me about secrets!?" She asks pointing her finger herself. "What about her!?" She glares at me and I find myself once again shrugging.

"We all have secrets. Except innocent Tsukasa. She just knows about secrets." I smile faintly looking at Tsuaksa, urging her to speak.

"Yep, your right. Inori are you still with your secret boyfriend? "

Inori stays silent for a second assessing the situation. She's definitely not happy that it wasn't just me who knew about her secret relationship.

"Shut up. Both of you. This is unfair." She gets up to leave but is pushed back by Tsukasa.

"I have questions as well." Tsukasa tells us both firmly. Honestly, I prefer this Tsukasa to the cute Tsukasa who belongs in a Harem manga.

Inori sighs putting her head in her hands and shaking her head a little. Then she looks up again.

"For God's sake." .

* * *

Now that Inori has gotten over the fact that Tsukasa will be asking questions, she's looking even angrier. With her arms crossed and her back facing me, and her face stuck in an angry glare. I however slump lazily. I understand that most of these questions will be directed at Inori - which is fine with me. Tsukasa doesn't know who to trust - she's glancing at both of us, thinking of her first question.

"What did Kagami say when she left?" She asks finally.

"She said to leave me alone." Inori replies in a huff. In her world, everyone's out to get her.

"You'll be in here longer then. That's fine with me." Tsukasa says, folding her arms across her chest. I give Inori a poke. I don't want her in my room any longer. She slaps my hand away quickly and mutters something under her breath.

"She said look after Tsukasa and You." She turns to look at me, still glaring. "That's it."

"A short goodbye then." I mutter. Not that I care. Whoever the hell that impostor was should have been keeping a better eye on the rest of our messed up family. But....if I had'nt been cooking then......

"And why didn't you stop her from leaving? Did you want everybody to be depressed?" Tsukasa asks bitterly. Just as I thought, Tsukasa's mind is saying that this is all Inori's fault.

"She wanted to leave. That's not my fault. If I kept her here she would probably end up as bad as her" Inori growls - once again, referring to me. There was no need for insulting me. Just because I'm the lost cause of the family. Tsukasa glances at me. I bet she's wondering how life would be like it there were two of me.

"On the topic of you, why are you listening to all this music?" She asks sternly. Sorry Tsukasa, I didn't mean to deafen the whole family!

"Because, it's better than listening to the pointless crap you lot talk about. The only interesting conversations involve Miki and Inori." I shrug. The statement is true.

Inori looks like she wants to clasp her hands round my mouth. I'm surprised she hasn't.

"What do you mean?" Tsukasa asks, for a second looking like her old self.

"I mean the arguments." I smirk at Inori. At this point she unfolds her arms and pushes past Tsukasa, leaving the room. I know how much those arguments annoy her. When Miki continuously blames her and she repeats that it's not her fault - trying to remain calm. Dad - during these arguments - feebly tries to calm both of them down before retreating to his bedroom. Once after one of these arguments, he knocked on my door. I answered and he sat down on my bed. I obviously looked a lot less intimidating in my pyjama's. We talked, neither of us mentioning the argument. We both tried to block it out. Eventually he left - I think he went to check how the fight was going. I think that was the longest we'd talked about such pointless things.

"And why did you leave Kagami in a burning house?" She's asks, back to her angry state. is she trying to blame both of her older sisters?

"I-I did'nt. I thought she had left." I say quietly. I thought she had left....I thought she had left. Answer: Yes, she's blaming both me and Inori.

"Thought is'nt good enough." Tsukasa snarls - looking a little like Inori.

"I thought she had gone! I thought she was out of the house." I say. I don't want to talk about this. Especially not with Inori around.

"You left her in a burning house!" Tsukasa spits through her teeth, prodding me in the chest.

"I've had enough of this." Inori adds before pushing past Tsukasa and out of the room.

Tsukasa swears under her breath, annoyed that Inori just left. I pick up a CD. This one's entitled Crisom Tears. It's a little like my theme song.

"Don't think I'm done with you!" She announces, bringing me out of my thoughts. I did'nt leave Kagami in a burning house. It's not my fault. I clasp my hands together to stop my fingers figeting.

"Tsukasa......" I whisper.

"Don't Tsukasa me! You practically killed our sister!" She accuses. That's not right. I did'nt kill her. No. I did'nt. i did'nt kill her.

"Tsukasa I did'nt....." I trail off, looking down at the floor. I get up off the bed and try to push Tsukasa out - which is hard, depite her small frame. She struggles and slaps my arms until I finally shove her out. I lean on the door before slowly slumping down until I'm sat on the floor. I cross my arms on top of knees and rest my head on my arms. I really, did'nt need that conversation.


	23. Depression

**Chapter 23**

**Konata**

**

* * *

**

I've been spending a lot of time in my bedroom lately. Doing nothing. I just sit here and wait for something miraculous to happen. I'm hoping that Miss Kuroi didn't get suspicious about me being absent. I've asked Dad to write a note though, explaining how I've been 'ill'…

I'm worried sick about her......Kagami......She seems like a distant memory that has long since passed. Sometimes, I'm sure that i can hear her voice. I wish. If I could, then I'd record it and play the sweet sound on a never-ending loop. I'm distraught. Does that count as an illness? But if I told Nanako that I'm distraught then I'd get sent to a counsellor. Not my idea of fun. I hate councillors - not that I've ever been to one. They freak me out a little - kind of like the whole Miyuki and the dentist situation.

I've been trying to sort out all my possessions recently. Things I keep, things I don't. My possessions being anime DVD's and manga's and collectable figures. Mostly. I'm definitely getting rid of all of the love themed manga's. This will sound…completely ridiculous….but I can't bear to look at them. Everybody's so happy and in love in them, and I truly get lost in them. Then suddenly, something will happen, and reality will come crashing down - returning me to the real world and everything that goes with it.

But, my plan is, to sell anything and everything that I don't need, at the game store. I sell it, I buy train tickets and then I search. But, I will feel guilty about lying to my Dad. I've already told him that I'm going on a school trip - which is actually searching Japan to find Kagami. I told him that I'm going soon. I do want to go. And I'm very nearly really ready to go. And if I have to sell my possessions to get to her, then so be it. I will find her. Somebody will know where she is. Definitly. Somebody smart......

I've got school tomorrow. I groan quietly. I'm not looking forward to it. I can't really be bothered. But honestly, it can't be that much worse than home right? I pad lazily to my coat, which is neatly hung on the door handle. I fumble around in the pockets before finding what I need. My timetable. I read it quickly before sighing. My least favourite day - in terms of the timetable, anyway. I'm feeling the urge to skip tomorrow as well, but I know I shouldn't. I don't want to go. But I must. Honestly, I just want to stay here - in my bedroom - and make my plans more refined.

A knock on the door makes me jump, making me forget all thoughts about bunking off school.

"Onee-chan! Do you want some tea?" Yutaka asks, brushing her red pigtails away from her face. She gives me a bright smile, happy that she can offer me some tea. She rushes out of the room, returning shortly with a tray of tea. And two large slices of cake. I knew letting her watch the dessert programme was a good idea!

We both sip our tear slowly, letting the warmth spread through our bodies and the sweet liquid slip down our throats. I've been nibbling my cake, and it's the best I've ever tasted.

"You make good cake…." I say smiling at her. I've been feeling a little guilty, just sitting in my room, when I should be talking to her.

"Thanks Onee-chan." She replies, blushing slightly from the compliment.

"How's school?" I ask politely.

"It's fine. But everyone's talking about how….." She trails off, frowning sadly. She doesn't need to say it. 'But everyone's talking about how Kagami disappeared'. She looks at me apologetically, her pale face looking even paler.

"It's fine, Yutaka." I shuffle closer to her, giving her a hug. I've always hugged her gently, scared that if I hug to hard, she'll break into a million little pieces all around me because she's so frail. And sometimes, she does look just like a perfectly painted little china doll. I hug her tightly, closing my eyes. Yutaka's a good kid.

She leaves the room, taking the tray of empty tea cups. Knowing her, she'll go clean them right now, instead of putting the cleaning off until another day. That's just Yutuka. I suddenly remember that I've got school tomorrow. Sigh. The dreaded day.

* * *

AN: Hello everybody :) Thanks for reviweing, it really helps me write. Sorry for this chapter being short. And one question, what does everybody think about the edning. What would you like to happen..? PM me, just so I get a genral idea of what my readers like/dislike. Once again, thanks :)


	24. The Mysterious K

**Chapter 24**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

She pushed me out!? It was just getting interesting. Damn it. It's like my older sisters can't handle a few questions. I'm not going to let this drop. No way!

Seeing as I can't talk to my sister's and I don't want to talk to my parents, I'll check to see what happening online. I'll check my sister's email - to be more specific. They'll be nothing in mine. Not that they'll be anything in her's either. I don't even know what Kagami did on the family computer - except homework. All I do is go on a recipe forum.

The house always seems so empty now. Dad is at work even more than usual and Mum just….does different things. She doesn't cook as often and when she does, she gets no joy out of doing it. The house is becoming a little dusty, so I've planned to clean it seeing as everybody else seems to have forgotten they've still got chores to do. Mum also has a lots of baths now. And she's become even quieter and meeker. Matsuri just does nothing. Yeah, stupid, lazy Matsuri. And she's made that clear. Mum's started leaving her dinner outside her damn bedroom door. Dad's asked her to stop doing that, but she always does it anyway. Inori doesn't like seeing her doing it either. But Inori want to be in control of everyone and everything, so I'm hardly surprised.

I quickly log on to the email, being careful to type Osaka correctly. The computer grants me permission. I scroll down until I find the word inbox. I click and wait for the page to load. Wow - 554 emails. I'm not going to check all of them. I thought my sister would be one of those people who regularly deletes emails. I click on one at random.

_Dear Kagami._

_I'm beginning to wonder if your reading these. I never get any responses. I know that you some place new - I hope your OK - so you may not have access to a computer. It may seem absurd to send these when there's no reply, but it makes me feel closer to you. I miss you so much. I didn't go to school. I hope your family are also fine. But I worry about you more. Lots, lots more. I wish I knew where you were. But I don't and I hate myself for not making out goodbye last ten times longer._

_K_

…..I don't know what to say or think. Somebody's writing these emails. K…..could easily be Konata. She wasn't at school. But these sound more like emails from a lover - not a friend. This can't be Konata. And if it is Konata then…….why didn't Kagami talk to me about her…feelings. I select another one, this time a one from a while ago.

_Dear Kagami_

_I know you won't get this one for a while. If you ever get it. All I know is that right now your in hospital. Me and Miyuki are very worried. Tsukasa is on break - I guess that she visits you everyday. I wish I could visit you everyday, just to see if your ok. Kagami.....if I see...I mean.....when I see you again, promise we can talk. I miss you your not missing much.....at school anyway. You know that i don't read the newspapers so when you get better, you'll have some catching up to do! See you soon..._

_K_

Another one from Konata - I assume. I'm beginning to wonder if all of these are from Konata. I'll try one more. One more only.

_I hope U never come back to school. FrankenKagami. You freak. You should be dead. Take you place - in the grave, weirdo. Misao._

Is this girl proud of that email? Who sends this kind of stuff? What the hell is she, a freakin' cyberbully? If she is, then she's more pathetic than I thought. What a cruel person. The worl would be a better place without people like Misao....But.... I'm not going to start another fight with her though. I'm not going to waste my time. It would just get me into more trouble, and I don't think Onee-chan would like me fighting. Especially when she's not here to talk to me. that's the worst thing about not having Kagami here. I can't talk to her.

"What you up to Tsukasa?"

I jump as I hear my mothers voice. Please don't say she read any of that. She doesn't sound cheerful, so she could have read the email. But then again, it feels like years since Mum's been happy. When in reality....it's hardly been anything.

"Nothing...." I mumble, glancing at her as I quickly close down the tab. She looks at me suspiciously. Do I look nervous or something....? I turn to look at her properly, trying to adjust my face so i'm not showing any emotion.

"Tsukasa, everything OK right?"

I knew she was suspiscious. I guess when you have to worry about three of your daughters, you can't help but feel that there might be something wrong with the other one - aka Tsukasa.

"Why would'nt it be...?" I ask, trying to imagine that I'm doing something fun, like cooking or texting......yeah, that's not working. I hope I don't sound annoyed or anything. Even though, i am.

"No, I'm just asking." She gives me a small smile. I have a feeling that that's the best smile that I'm going to get for a while. I should'nt think like that. I really should'nt.

"I'm fine.....what about you?" Even though the question 'what about you' is usually just used to make small talk, I really wish I had'nt said it. For one, she does'nt look fine at all. She looks tired and drained, and now that I'm examining her properly, she looks a little bit thinner.

"....Fine." She says, using a vauge answer. I'm not surprised. What's she supposed to say? You don't tell your kids things like, 'I'm depressed.' or ' I'm terrible, acctually'. I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. If she had said any of those examples, I would've believed her. Especially after finding out that her and Inori argue sometimes.

"Mum, I'm going to call someone....." I say quietly before getting out of my seat and finding the phone. I quickly dial Konata's number, pressing the phone against my ear.

"Hello, is that Konata-chan?" i ask, slurring my words slightly in the hurry to say them.

"Yeah....." A quiet voice comes through the other end. I'd forgotten that she's been off school, most probably ill.

"I'm meeting you in the park...you know where the flower garden is right...? I'll see you...in 10 minutes!" I decide quickly, not waiting for her reply I slam the phone back into it's holder. We've been to the flower garden so many times - Miyuki, Konata, kagami and I. Of course she 'll know where it is.

"Mum, I'm going out!" I say loudly before grabbing a coat and rushing out. I probably should have said,' I'll see you in 20 minutes.' Now I have to run.


	25. Home Truths

**Chapter 25**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I run to the park, panting for breath, not caring how ridiculous I look. Considering I'm not a very fast runner, I think I've done OK. I don't know how Konata's getting here, but hopefully, she won't be as out of breath as I am. Konata's a good runner, so if she's getting here by foot then she'll be fine.

I sit on the nearest bench, staring at the few flowers that have survived. All of them looked wilted and hardly able to stand. In fact, half of them are lay on the ground, the wind whipping off their petals. It's a shame really. I am suddenly snapped out of my thought as I hear a faint whirring. I look up to see Konata, her long blue hair soaring behind her as she cycles. I didn't even realise Konata owns a bike - let alone rides it. But that's not important now. That's small potatoes at right now.

As she reaches my bench, Konata swings one of her legs on the other side of the bicycle before sliding off. She leans the bike on one side of the bench, propping it up against the side. She sits down beside me and smiles faintly.

"Hi Tsukasa…..What did you want, I mean, I wasn't expecting….." She trails off and smiles at me nervously, which I find unusual. Konata is usually so laid back, seeing her look nervous, is a whole new thing.

"Konata…" Where do I start? "I found some emails…on my sisters account.."

She gives me a look of surprise. A look that say everything. How did you get in to Kagami's email? Why would you do that? What do I say now? How can I explain this?

She suddenly takes an interest to her fingers, staring at them as she clasps them together. I see a slight blush take place on her unusually pale face.

"Well…..I…..likeyoursister." She says in a rush, a little embarrassed. I doubt that she thought about how to explain all this. Especially to me. But honestly, I myself, don't know what to say. I don't know how to _feel. _I've always stuck by the basics that if it's love, then it OK but….1, is this love? And 2, this isn't just any love situation, this is my sister and my best friend. The two people who I thought I shared everything with.

"How long were you two…well together..?" I ask, hoping I don't sound nosy.

"Not…very long…" She says quietly, quickly trailing off. " Just for about a day or two before she said goodbye.." She adds sadly, obviously deep in thought.

"Do you know where she went?" I ask hopefully. If they said goodbye then surely…

"No. I wish t-that I did…"

"You wanted to go with her, didn't you?" I ask quietly, already knowing the answer. Konata eyes remain on her fingers as she begins to sob quietly. I stare at her for a few seconds, not sure what to do. I've never seen Konata cry before so I have no idea about what to say. So I don't say anything. I scoot a little further across the bench - towards her - and wrap my arms round her. Finally, after a couple of long tense moments, I find the right words. Well, at least, I think that there right.

"Konata…..it's OK." So simple, yet so strong. Even though I many ways, lots of things aren't OK. It's not OK that we have no idea where Kagami is. It's not OK that Konata is crying. It's not OK that I never knew about my sister's feelings when we supposedly shared everything. But I can forgive her. OK will have to do at the moment.

"I'm sorry…" She says wiping her eyes and nose in turn, sniffing, even though she can't seem to stop the tears. I pat her shoulder comfortingly.

"Konata…it's fine…but…do you think we'll ever see her again..?"

She looks at me, her face red and unhappy after the crying. "Most definitely, I swear." She says, a look of determination in her eyes.

"Do you want to go back to your house…You know, for a chat?"

She nods, wiping her nose and standing up, picking her bike up slightly to turn it around.

* * *

I sit stiffly on Konata's bed while Konata brings in some tea. Which is good. Isn't tea supposed to clam you or something? The smell…or the taste…. I am suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as Konata enters the room with a tray.

"You OK?" I ask. We had both been completely silent as we walked to her house. The only noise was the faint tapping of my phone as I texted my parents to say where I was.

"I'm sorry for that earlier…." She says quietly, stirring her tea with a small silver spoon.

"It's fine Konata……..Your just upset….." That's completely true. Everybody's upset. We all miss Kagami. And seeing as Konata was so close to her - closer than I though anyway - then she has a right to be unhappy. To cry and wish that Kagami was still here. It's only natural.

She concentrates on stirring her drink, casually clinking the spoon against the side of the mug, staring into the deep brown liquid. She's deep in thought, which feels weird. Konata is so bubbly and seeing her like this makes my heart break.

"Konata…you know I'm always there for you right? And if you need anyone to talk to….."

She nods, acknowledging my answer. We quickly drain our tea, both of us saying nothing, just thinking.

"It's getting dark, huh?" Konata says, giving me a small smile.

I nod. "Yeah, I better go." She see's me to th door, and waves me off. Am I looking forward to going home? No.


	26. Charades

**Chapter 26**

**Kagami**

* * *

This is all fake. I've got to remember that. I can't get attached. I have made friends at work….but it's all not real. What's real is far away at the moment. Mum and dad and my sisters and Konata… That's real. Not this charade I'm playing.

"_Kasumi! You ready for your shift?" The manager asks, after seeing me arrive. I've just come from my other two jobs, back to the hotel, exhausted from my hard day's work. But there's more to come. I should be grateful that I even got this job. 3 jobs may be hard to handle, but it's what's keeping me going - the money after all is needed._

_The manger shuffles towards me, his wispy hair bobbing in front of his tired looking, droopy eyes. His pale skin stretches as he gives me a lopsided smile._

"_Yeah, are we busy tonight?" I ask politely, even though honestly this place is always pretty much dead. And I'm not surprised. The chairs and room is dusty and old, in need of cleaning. Apart from me, there is hardly any staff, so service is slow and the food isn't great either. It's a shame really, the manager tries so hard. He's a nice guy, but painfully shy._

I'm so glad that my manager let me leave earlier. He's so nice. But then again….nobody was in the café and it didn't look like any one was coming either. I feel bad for him. There is so much competition around here….so many places to eat and stay and things to do. So nobody really comes here.

Because nobody goes to the café' downstairs, I always find myself thinking about things in my shift. Mostly, about medical things. it's confusing living in someone elses body. Honestly, it is. I don't put weight on as easily, and it's been a little odd being slightly taller. Like I've had a growth spurt or something. but I still wonder, where has this body come from. Will I ever find out? Or am i wasting time? It feels like that.

And how things are going back home. I was walking around town yesterday - because luckily, I had an extended break due to the fact that a worker came in when they were'nt needed - getting to know the place. And I found a public library. I went inside, and I got a library card - just in case I'm here long term - and some light novel's that I've been meaning to buy. So library cards do come in handy. But that's not the point. In the corner, there was a light gray computer, sprinkled with dust. I jumped at the chance to use it. I logged on to my email and I saw a load of emails, from Konata…..and Misao. I opened one from Konata, and I was just about to read it when - to my frustration - the computer broke down. And when I asked one of the staff…..it won't be repaired, for another week.

But something good did come out of that experience. I know that Konata's emailing me. Trying to stay in touch. So maybe I don't know what she's writing…but it's the thought that counts. And when I saw her name in my inbox, I was so happy. I thought I was going to scream or something. That would have been embarrassing.

I never though I'd say this but I'm beginning to realise how little stress school really was - well compared to this. After working three jobs, I don't think I'll ever be the same. But, I've been telling myself that things will get better. My body will adjust to the amount of work. And, my sleeping pattern will change. That reminds me….I wonder if Tsukasa has learnt to set her alarm to the right time. But then again, was it really an accident, when she 'accidentally' set her alarm for 1:00 PM? I've always wondered is Tsukasa was part sloth.

But then again, it seems like Tsukasa and Konata are birds of a feather. There both so lazy. If only Konata could be so passionate about school work instead of feeding her obsession for anime. And if Tsukasa could study as well as she can cook, then well, she would be a genius. Like Miyuki. That pink haired genius is outstanding. She could get into any college she wants. Unlike Tsukasa and Konata. Unless some anime programme wants a new 'brigade chief' or something, then Konata's screwed. And that what I'm worried about. I don't want Konata - or Tsukasa - to become some lazy adult, who has no qualifications. That would really be disappointing.

AN: Kagami chapters will get longer, i promise :)


	27. Anger, Grief and Misery

**Chapter 27**

**Miki**

* * *

We sit around the table, silently eating dinner. Really we should have waited for Tsukasa…..but Tadoa had coaxed Matsuri out of her bedroom to eat. And I'm not going to miss the opportunity. She's the only one of us who's eating the food with enthusiasm, even though, at the same time, she's reading a thick black book. I guess its an assignment from college.

"So how's everybody?" Tadoa asks, finally breaking the silence. Matsuri nearly spits out her food from laughter, quickly covering her mouth with one of her hands. Inori glares at her, her eye's saying -you-eat-like-a-animal. Tadoa and I look at her in confusion, wondering why she's laughing in the first place. 'So how's everybody' should be a simple question, not a joke.

Matsuri wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, earning another stern glare from her older sister.

"What's so funny?" My husband asks, as if reading my mind. A while ago, I wouldn't have been surprised if we were thinking the same thing. But now, it's as if we've both been separated, placed into different worlds.

"Really, dad. What do you think?" Matsuri asks, giving both me and Tadoa a odd look.

"Shut up Matsuri." Inori mutters bitterly, nudging her sister with her elbow. I open my mouth to say something along the lines of, ' Don't say shut up to your sister.' but for some reason, the words feel appropriate.

"Well how's college then?" I ask, not wanting to sit - once again - in silence, with only the faint ticking of the clock echoing around the room.

" You should know that……" Inori mumbles, her words barely audible. I guess I wasn't supposed to hear that. But luckily, Matsuri is here to repeat it.

"What do you mean, you should know?" Matsuri asks sweetly, her eyes focused on Inori's scowl. I have a feeling that Matsuri _wants_ to start a argument.

Inori looks up, and acts surprised. "I didn't say anything." She says, staring right back at her sister. But, even though I really do want to let this go, I can't.

"No, go on Inori. I'm all ears." I say, surprised by the cold tone in my voice.

"All I'm saying is that really, you should know about what happens in our lives. That's all. I'm not criticising you." Inori replies reluctantly, her head bent down.

"If you don't tell me, then how _would_ I know? I'm not a mind reader. " I reply calmly, ignoring the anger which is hammering at my mind.

"You could ask." Matsuri says confidently, still reading her book. She's so sure that I won't get angry. I'm not expected to get angry. In this house, it's as if I'm not allowed to be angry - or be granted any other feelings.

"I doubt you know about anything that's been happening." Inori says, once again aiming not to be heard. But this time, I'll answer for myself, and not let Matsuri answer first.

"Then tell me."

"Tsukasa's gotten into trouble, and she," She turns to face Matsuri. "Is constantly screwing up."

I never heard about any of this. Both Tsuaksa and Matsuri are good girls, and I wouldn't expect them to get into trouble - or anything worse.

"What about yourself, Inori? Seems like you conveniently left yourself out of all this" Matsuri asks, looking up, suddenly interested in the conversation. She smiles at Inori ; who is now cursing quietly.

"I haven't done anything wrong." Inori protests, determined to keep herself out of trouble.

"I think getting drunk counts."

"That was 2 years ago!" Inori argues, before seeing Matsuri's smirking face. Inori clasps her hands over her mouth quickly. I doubt that she was supposed to confess to getting drunk. Honestly, I'm more disappointed about her lying - for two years - than her getting drunk. Everybody get's drunk. It happens. Not that it's acceptable. That's not what I'm saying at all.

"Now, lets not argue…" Tadoa says, about five minutes too late. There are three things I want to say to him. 1, _he_ should step up and take control of this argument. 2,_ he_ should spend less time at his precious shrine. And 3, _he_ shouldn't avoid home, especially seeing as I need help.

"Why did I never hear about any of this?" I ask my daughters, ignoring my husband. It doesn't seem like he's going to be any help.

"Maybe if you looked after your daughters instead of dumping them on me then you would know." Inori retorts, her voice sharp and angry.

"Who cooks and cleans and washes and helps pay for the house?" I ask bitterly. Tadoa and I could have thrown Inori - and Matsuri for that matter - out when they were 18. Are they both really that ignorant to who pays for everything?

"Yes and who helps Tsuaksa with homework? Who stops Matsuri from cutting herself? Who did Kagami say goodbye to? Have you ever wondered why she said goodbye to _me_ and not _you_?"

She shouldn't have said that. She's just gone too far. Even Matsuri has become solemn, looking at Inori in amazement. I don't think anybody else would even _dare _to mention Kagami. I feel the tears well up in my eyes, and my hands tighten into fists. She could have said anything, but yet, she chose to say the one thing that would hurt me the most. And Matsuri _cutting_ herself? Surely, that's not true. It can't be.

As for Inori, she doesn't seem bothered. She breathes heavily, her face, the pure picture of anger. Her hands are also clenched into fists. Matsuri has put down her book and is staring at her older sister, her eyes filled with disbelief. Nobody thought that Inori was capable of saying such cruel things.

"You've been cutting yourself?" I ask solemnly, wishing with all my heart that it's not true.

"I've stopped....." Matsuri says quietly, for the first time taking this conversation seriously.

"Yeah, because _I _intervined." Inori interupts, her face set into a firm frown.

"You did'nt intervine with kagami though did you?" I say sharply. the clock ticking on the wall now seems like a bomb, ready to blow at any second. This argument has changed the atmosphere so much, the room filled with tension, grief and anger.

"She wanted to leave! And when did you last go looking for her, hmm?" Inori asks, her voice like a knife, slicing through the room. At this point, I want to scream and shout and cry and have a tantrum. I want to let loose, over-react and just lose control. But I hold my tounge. This is not the time or the place. Having a tantrum, would only worsen the situation - and make me look weak.

"Kagami died a long time ago....." Matsuri adds quietly, her voice a whisper.

"And whose fault is that?" Inori says, her comment also quiter than the last. Like a bittersweet song, her tone is filled with anger and accusation but also contains a mourning and sad tone, which is nearly masked by her anger.

"It's nobody's fault. She did'nt die." I say quietly, wanting to get away from everything.

"Who left her in a burning building?"

Matsuri's eyes suddenly fill with pain and greif. She stares at Inori sadly, before looking back down at her book. I turn to face Inori.

"I want you out. By tomorrow." I say quietly, still trying to hold the tears back. Tadoa glances at all of us in turn, his face creased by worry,

"Let's not make any rash decisions now…" Tadoa says hurriedly, trying to make everything better. Maybe if he had been involved at the start of this argument, then everything would be better, and fate wouldn't have chosen this path.

"No. She can leave." I say, my head bent down as a tear drips down my face.

Inori stands up, her fists still clenched tightly.

"I'll leave then. But when everybody is this wretched family breaks down, you'll have yourself to blame Miki. You wait. Matsuri is already half way to killing herself, and you are obviously not in the state to take care of anybody. And you Dad, are completely useless. Avoiding your own home. You coward."

Inori spit's the words out just as the door creaks open to reveal Tsukasa. We were all to busy arguing to even notice her coming into the house. Tsukasa scans all our faces ; she looks disgusted.

"Your all as bad as each other!" Tsukasa says loudly, her voice full of fiery anger. "All of you are ridiculous. Dad, you can't hide in the shrine forever. And Mum, would you really kick Inori out over one argument? And you, Inori! I'm sure you can't wait to get out of this house. Matsuri, you need to get over yourself. Your not the only one who's having a hard time you know. Your going to rot away in that bedroom. I'm going out. Again. I hope you've all had a think about this before I come back because at the moment your all in the wrong. Every single one of you. Your all out of order!"

Tsukasa stalks out of the room and slams the front door behind her. And I finally lose control, bursting into loud sobs.


	28. Never Be The Same

**Chapter 28**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

What's wrong with them! They are all completely out of order and selfish! I hate them. Don't they think that I'm suffering just as much as them? Because I am. More in fact. Not only is Kagami gone, Konata is sick with worry and depression and that makes me worried about her. So in the end, everybody is upset and worried and nobody knows what to do about it. i can't understand my family. I can't understand Kagami's reasons. I can't understand anything about the people who I live with! they all act so starngely and secretive now, I always feel tense and upset. And I don't know what to do....

I really hope she's OK with me coming over. It's at time like these when I wish I had Miyuki's mobile number. I can never remember her home phone number either….

"My phone...." I say blankly as my phone goes off in my coat pocket. Usually i would've squealed, ' I'm vibrating!'. I may look ridiculous saying ,' I'm vibrating' to myself whenever my phone goes off, but it's a habit that I can't seem to break. but I guess today, i'm just too upset... I fumble in my pocket for a few seconds before pulling out my phone. I flip it open and press it against my ear.

"Hello?" I hear Mum say on the other end. I don't want to talk to her at the moment. I told her to think about things, not ring me. She should go do something about her missing daughter, not ring me. So why ring me!

"Yes?" I ask impatiently, still walking briskly to Miyuki's house.

"Tsukasa, what time are you coming back?"

"Why would you care?." I say quickly. At the momment I could'nt care less about my family and their feelings. I'm occupied with my own.

"Tsukasa I- " She protests, not liking the fact that I'm out by myself.

I close the phone and stand still for a few moments. I don't think I ever would have done that a month ago. I've changed. And some people are going to find that hard to deal with. I push the thought to the back of my mind, I don't want to think of the future of my family after tonight. At the moment, anything could happen. But I don't want anything. I want my sister. That's all I'll ever want for the rest of my entire life.....And kagami may be the one person that I'll never see again.

I hope Miyuki's not busy.......but sitting in Miyuki's house feeling like an interruption is much better than being in my own home and feeling like a burden. Because honestly, it seems that that's what I'm becoming according to my family. But I don' t care anymore. The only member of my family who i want and need is gone and that's all their fault.

Whatever I'm going to do, I'm nearly at the Takara residence. I step towards the house, surprised that the long walk went so quickly. I shuffle towards the door bell before ringing it and taking a step back. That's the rule ; ring the door bell and then take a step back.

Miyuki's mother opens the door, looking slightly tired and a little upset.

"Hello dear. Did you want something?" She asks, a slight bit if annoyance in her voice.

"Urmm, yes. Is Miyuki in?"

She nods and lets me in, te I ask quietly, trying to contain my emtions.

I'm told to go upstairs, second door on the right…..I think. Luckily before I get the chance to test my memory, I bump into a smiling Miyuki.

"Oh, hello Tsukasa. Did you want something?"

Like mother like daughter. Didn't they just use the exact same greeting? And is she not surprised that I'm even in her house?

"Yes actually…I was wondering…" I pause, wondering how to say what I want to say "If I could ask for a little advice?" Maybe if we talk for long enough then she'll forget the time and then I won't have to go home..

She smiles at me politely, not a hint of annoyance showing on her face.

"I'll go make tea."

That's just like her. I've come to her house - at night - and asked for advice and she's not phased at all. She's playing it cool.

* * *

Miyuki's bedroom is so clean….Amazingly clean. Her neatly made bed on the right hand side - against the wall - with the sheets crisp and perfected. Even her desk isn't messy. For someone who does hours of homework a week on that desk, it's spotless. Not a piece of paper out of place or a spot of ink. Nothing. A lot of people assume that Miyuki has something to hide. I've heard a rumour or two - but they are ridiculous. And these rumours are started by the jealous kind, who envy Miyuki and everything she has - and I don't mean the money.

Miyuki startles me as she opens the door, coming in with two beautiful teacups, filled with sweet milk tea. Miyuki may say that she's not good at household chores, but she is certainly good at making tea. I know from experience. Without a word she sets down one of the cups in front of me before sitting down opposite me and smiling. I have a feeling that she's going to let me do all the talking. And I'm not going to mess around, thus wasting her time.

"Miyuki…..you see……I was talking to Konata today, and we're both really worried about Kagami…..and I want to find her…but I don't understand why she left….and…and.." I can't finish my sentence, my lip is quivering so much. If i were by meself, then by now I would be in floods of tears. I trust Miyuki, i really do, she's a great friend, a perfect student, but I don't want to cry in front of her. I can't breakdown in front of her. Because if I breakdown then I'm like the rest of my worthless family.

Miyuki shuffles closer, careful not to knock over her half-empty teacup. She hugs me tightly, holding my head gently. Usually, I would have been embarrassed but at the moment….it feels OK. In this situation, perfect in fact.

"Tsukasa, you've got to understand that Kagami didn't leave for no reason………." She pauses, a serious look on her face. " I don't think kagami would've left if she though that you would be this upset.....I'm sorry |Tsukasa.....But.....things will get better..........I know how hard it must be for you at the momment.."

I dig my face into her shoulder, not liking what I'm hearing. I feel tears slip down my face, slowly making their way on to Miyuki's shoulder. I don't what's to believe what's happened recently. I want it all to go away. For me to wake up and find Kagami nagging me to get up for school. I never really thought I'd miss having Kagami as a human alarm clock but now, the morning ritual seems like heaven.

"And it must have hurt her to leave you all…..but I'm sure she's fine, if a little tired…..I don't think she will have gone far….but you just don't know, right?" She continues quietly, still gently rubbing the top of my head.

I nod, responding to her words - even if my reactions are hardly noticeable. She doesn't seem to mind my lack of reactions though.

"And how are things at home Tsukasa?" She asks softly, making sure that she doesn't sound prying. This girl's as sweet as the tea I should be drinking, but never got the chance too.

I shake my head, rubbing my nose against her shoulder. "Not good.." I mumble, remembering the argument. She strokes my head, almost like how you might stroke a cat or a kitten. But I don't mind.

"What's happened? If you don't mind me asking…"

I look up at her and want to cry all over again. She looks just as sad as me, but she can look after me so well. That makes me feel so well. If only Miyuki knew about Konata……but that's Konata's secret to tell, not mine.

"T-they were all having an argument….a-and then I came in and they were all upset and…" What more can I say? I can't tell her every detail, seeing as I wasn't there….And I don't want to tell her that my mother threatened to kick out my eldest sister. It's not the type of thing that I would like to tell people.

Miyuki looks out of the window to see it's raining heavily.

"Tsukasa….why don't you stay here tonight? It's raining quite heavily and I wouldn't want you to get wet."

I suddenly feel embarrassed as we untangle ourselves. I hadn't realized that I had curled up in her lap during the time we were talking. She smiles at me - now standing up - and moves towards the door.

"I'll go ask my mother."

Soon enough I find myself staying at Miyuki's place. Anywhere that isn't home. My phone once again vibrates in my pocket, but this times it's a text. I begin to read it.

_Tsukasa, I'm getting worried are you coming home? Sorry about earlier, I promise we'll talk about it._

_Lots of love,_

_Mum._

I don't type outa reply. I don't care about her - or the majority of my family - anoymore. And maybe, I won't trust them again. because right now, everything is looking, awfully bleak.


	29. Thoughts and Feelings

**Chapter 29**

**Miki**

* * *

Tadao holds one of my arms comfortingly seeing as I can not control the tears. I wipe my nose and eyes with a near by tissue before sniffing and putting the tissue back down. Tadao gives me a faint smile and crosses his arms, getting more comfortable. Inori and Matsuri have long since left the room so apart from the ticking of the clock, the room is silent. I wipe my eyes once more, trying to ignore how much they sting. Tadoa shuffles closer and look straight into my red rimmed eyes. I try to give him a small smile, but at the moment, the chances of me smiling seem slim. I can't help but think of Kagami, and how controlled she always was.

"Your thinking about her, aren't you?" Tadao asks me suspiciously, looking down at his feet, his neck bent. Once again, it seems like Tadoa is on my wave link, which is not what I expected.

"You know that I want to find her." I reply quietly, my voice hoarse from crying.

"And you know that we can't." He replies quickly, a tone of regret clear in his voice. I pause thinking carefully about my answer. What can I say? When somebody signs a contract, it's end game. The deal's been done - in other words, you can't back out.

"It's all ridiculous! One blasted piece of paper is holding us back!" It's unfair. Yes, both me and Tadoa agreed to the contract. We save your daughter, you pay us back with surveillance…..and if anything goes wrong,….we deal with it, not you.

_"Now Mr. and Mrs Hiiragi, you understand all the terms and conditions, yes?" I look at my husband, who is staring into the man's eyes. He nods unhappily sighing._

_"Yes, thank you." He says calmly, not removing his gaze of the man._

_"And you understand that there are any complications, that you must hold back. We will take care of everything, yes?" The word, ' yes' suddenly seems very annoying._

_"Yes thank you" Tadao says sharply. "Please, just take care of my daughter." I've never seen Tadao so serious in my life. He's extermily anxious - to say the least._

And, going missing, counts as, ' going wrong.' Which means, we can't look for her. And if we do….then things get worse. We haven't been told what happens. But we have been guaranteed that we won't like it.

"We both signed it." Tadao says - pointing out the obvious. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that Tadao was a completely different person. A risk taker, someone who likes to control….That's wrong of me isn't it? Wishing my husband was a different person. Now I feel terrible in two ways.

"I hate them." I say, resting my head on my arms - which are now crossed across my knees. Despite feeling so childish, saying, ' I hate them' I still feel the need to say it. I hate them - referring to the medical institute who made the contract - is such a simple statement, but sums up my feelings. Or the majority of them, anyway. Sometimes I just want to call that stupid, stupid institute and scream at them, and cry and tell them how much I hate them. But then I remember how much that would worsen the situation. Who would want a maniacal mother to search for their experiment? I mean Kagami.

"You know that I agree Miki." He says coldly, looking absently at the wall. I frown. We aren't getting anywhere with this conversation.

"Why can't they just let us look for her!" I complain bitterly, still not accepting the fact that there's nothing we can do. There must be some kind of loophole. I refuse to accept defeat.

" Miki. They'll give up on this at some point. They have to." Tadao smiles at me weakly. We're both trying to tell ourselves that this will get fixed. But deep down, both of us have doubts. Our outer surfaces - like mirrors - are beginning to show cracks, as if we were deteriorating.

"I'm worried about all of them you know." I admit sadly, feeling weaker by the second. I'm so accustomed to looking after my family, I suddenly feel completely useless. Tadoa gazes at me, but it's like he's looking straight through me.

"If we can't do anything for Kagami at the momment, then we should take care of our other daughters, atleast." I nod in agreement. That makes complete sense. Inori seems so angry and frustrated. While Matsuri is.........well, what Matsuri is doing needs to be sorted out. And Tsukasa, has completely changed. What's happened to my little girl? The little girl who I used to chat too, and cook with. It's as if Tsukasa has suddenly undergone a personality switch. I have'nt even talked to her properly. Now I feel even more useless.

I stand up slowly, heaving myself up. Tadao remains still. I walk towards the door and give him one last meaningful glance. I open the door only to see Matsuri walking past. I stare at her suspiciously. Can it really be a coincidence that she walked past, just as me and Tadao finished our conversation? I doubt it. I look at her, and she looks back, her eyes staring into mine, unfaltering.

"Miki." She says curtly. Before nodding and beginning to walk away. I touch her shoulder, bringing her back a few steps.

"What are you up to?" I ask her, hoping that she doesn't lie. Because when Matsuri lies, it's hard to tell. She glances at her hands, which are filled with a few plates.

"Emptying my bedroom." She answers, flashing a small smile. I can't help but frown, once again, I can't tell whether she's telling the truth or not.

"Why do you have plates in your bedroom anyway?" I ask. Maybe if she can answer this, then she's telling the truth.

"You brought me dinner last night, plus you brought me breakfast." She smiles before scurrying off the kitchen. Even though she's probably lying, I'm a little relived that I have something else to think about. Even if thinking about Matsuri, isn't much better than thinking about my missing daughter.


	30. Problem Solving

**Chapter 30**

**Miyuki**

* * *

"_So Miyuki…..Tell us where she is!"_

_The crowd screams around me, expecting so much but getting so little. Somebody garbs me, clutching my arms and pinning them behind me back. I try to scream, but not a sound escapes. People begin to follow suit, and grab me, slowly pushing me forwards. And then I see it. The edge of the cliff.I try to beg with them, but once again my voice fails me. I even try to kick a few of them, but one girl against a whole crowd? It does'nt seem very likely that I'll win. I am suddenly pushed too far. My limits have been exceeded. I fall from the edge, trying to cling on to anything. But I realise, there is nothing to hold on too. Suddenly a scream falls from my mouth and the crowd look down. I am falling….faster and faster and in a matter of seconds I will be no more. A dismissed memory....One curious member of the crowd looks down, looking at me with interest. I can't see his face, my eyes are too blurred with tears. All I can see are his large brown glasses that have just fallen off his face....The mysterious man laughs loudly pointing at me before smirking and walking away.....I look down, and then wish I had'nt._

I wake up , sweating. I glance around, glad that I am now in reality. I see Tsukasa staring at me, as if she's been watching me. I'm not surprised that she couldn't sleep. I move myself into a sitting position before crawling over to my friend. She looks up at me, her eyes dull from tiredness.

"You couldn't sleep either?" She asks quietly, as if she were guilty of a crime.

"Nightmares. I'm so silly." I admit, a little embarrassed. A girl my age surely shouldn't have nightmares.

We sit in silence for a few seconds, both of us unsure of how to continue the conversation. Finally, Tsukasa speaks, breaking the eternity of silence.

"Miyuki you can tell me everything right? " She asks, looking at me with a serious expression.

"Of course ." I say, slightly confused by her odd question.

"Well, you know we were talking about Kagami earlier…." She stops and I suddenly know where this conversation is heading. I feel a little guilty, earlier I really just put all her problems into a few simple sentences that were supposed to solve everything. I knew that eventually, I would have to go into greater detail. But I wasn't expecting to do that, at 1 o' clock in the morning.

"I assume you want a better explanation." I say softly, not sure if explaining this to Tsukasa is the right thing to do. But on the other hand, hiding things from her, is not right. And not explaining things in detail, is almost as bad as not saying anything at all.

She nods at me, and gestures for me to speak. I wish I knew what to say.

"All I can say Tsukasa, is that Kagami was being treated like an alien or something inhuman. Treated more like Frankenstein than what she really was. People are afraid of what they are unsure of, which I guess, is what drove Misao to be such a bother. Being constantly stared and pointed at is not nice. Kagami must have felt quite unsettled to leave….the problem was obviously more serious than we thought. And, whatever kagami is planning, I don't think she'd leave without knowing that she's see you again."

Tsukasa pauses for a moment, thinking my short monologue through.

"How come you noticed all this and I didn't?" Tsukasa asks, resting her head on her fist.

"Even though I often space out, I do take care to take notice of the world around me. I can learn more about people that way." I answer calmly. People often believe that I space out, but really, I'm still aware of everything and everyone around me. Sometimes, people have compared me to a super intelligent computer - even though I find that highly insulting.

"Where do you think she went?" Tsukasa asks. The question I can not answer. Of course, I can guess where Kagami has gone but it's only a guess after all.

"I'm sorry Tsukasa…." I say quietly. " But, if you....need anything...." Tsukasa lies back on her bed as I crawl away, deciding that it would be best not to continue this conversation. I slip back into ym own bed, knowing full well that I won't be getting any sleep. I listen to the tick tock of the clock, and the breathing of Tsukasa. Sometimes, I glance over, only to see her staring right back. Sometimes, I think it would be better, if I were a super intelligent computer. Then maybe, I could solve all our problem, and Tsukasa - and Konata - would be happy. But, wishes are'nt reality, only something we can aspire to have. Does that mean that I'll never be able to solve problems? No, that's ridiculous. This will get solved, and if it does'nt, I will make it solved.

"Miyuki...?" I hear Tsukasa whisper gently. Maybe she thinks that I'm asleep.

"Yes Tsukasa?" I reply, slightly louder than Tsukasa.

"Urm....Will you come over here?" She asks. I can hear the embrassment in her soft voice. I go over to her, crawling over mountains of pillows and sea's of blankets.

"This is a little stupid Miyuki....but.....will you sleep closer to me?" We both blush, embarraed for each other. "I'm so used to having 4 people in the same house.....near me and it feels a little you know, I can like, hear them breathe and....."

I smile to myself. On the minor scale, a problem has been solved. I shuffle next to Tsukasa and cover myself with a thick blanket. And soon enough, I hear a faint snoring as Tsukasa sleeps.


	31. Manga's & Miyuki

**Chapter 31**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I wake up slowly, my eyes heavy from sleep. I prop myself up, using my arms to support my body. I look around to see a slim dent in the mattress next to me. Miyuki is already up. I heave myself up, still sleepy from rest. I begin to brush my hair before putting on my uniform. I'm glad that I decided not to get changed after school yesterday. Yesterday seems so far away. As if I haven't been home in years. When the reality is, I've slept over at Miyuki's. I check my phone. 3 missed calls. Now I'm really dreading going home,just because, I hate them. I don't want to see them,and if i go home, it will be quite hard to avoid them.

I pad down the stairs, hoping that I bump into a member of the Takara family before I get lost. As I step down the stairs, I see Miyuki in a room that seems like the kitchen - a very grand kitchen - buttering some bread. I quickly step down the stairs and enter the room, just as Miyuki takes a delicate bite out of her bread. She smiles at me and puts down her buttered bread.

"Are you nearly ready to go?" She asks politely looking at her watch. I nod silently, smiling a little.

"Do you want something to eat?" She asks me, holding her piece of bread slightly higher. I shake my head.

"No thank you." To be quite frank, I'm not very hungry. I lost my appetite when I checked my phone.

"OK then, we better start walking." She grabs her school bag before pausing. "Bye Mother!" And with that we set off to school. For the first few minutes, we walk in silence. Then Miyuki smile brightly.

"If you need any books, ask Ayano. We walked home together for a while, so, she'll probably let you borrow her books, seeing as you're my friend. And, Ayano's just kind by nature."

"Unlike her master." I say bitterly. I could never understand why Ayano and Misao were friends. And I still can't. Yes, they've known each other since they were little but, Misao treats Ayano like a dog. Or a very overprotective boyfriend who needs to know everything about their girlfriend. And I don't understand why Ayano puts up with it. Ayano could be friends with anybody in her class, anybody in my class in fact. But yet, she decided to hand around with that mental Misao.

Miyuki can't help but chuckle to herself. "Ayano worries a lot. She's very shy, and finds it difficult to make friends. I think that she worries about what would happen in she left Master."

We both laugh to together. I think sometimes, I've underestimated Miyuki's personality. In the past, I've labelled her as the bland, clever one, but now I realize, she's much more. We begin to get closer to school, conversation now in full flow. We enter out classroom to see a blue haired girl stood on a table, holding a heavy looking box.

"Manga's for sale! Plus DVD box sets! Buy now - cheap prices!" She says enthusiastically to the small crowd which is now gathering around the desk. I frown as I recognise her. What the hell is Konata doing!

I push through the crowd and grab Konata hand, pulling her down. She stumbles off the desk and falls next to me, looking at me, steely determination glinting in her eyes.

"What are you doing?" I hiss. " These are your favourites!" I fumble through the box to discover that these are her favourites. Her whole collection of Shuffle! Is there. She spent so much on them, and now she's just going to sell them off cheaply to a load of her classmates. Why is she selling them anyway? She worships these manga's like Gods.

"You don't understand!" She argues, picking herself - and her box - up. She attempts to get back onto the table but once again I grab her hand and pull her down.

"Why are you selling these Konata?" I ask grabbing a few out of the box and pushing them against her face. " You love these things. These are your life."

"Not anymore." She growls, snatching the books out of my hand. "I thought you'd understand."

"Not unless you tell me!" I protest holding onto two corners of the heavy box. Konata keeps her hand placed firmly on the opposite corners as the crowd begin to chant, ' Fight! Fight! Fight!" I'm so busy pulling the corners of the box, I don't see Miyuki calmly pushing through the crowd and coming towards us. She gently pushes the people nearest to me and Konata and stands in front of us. Amazingly, she manages to take the box out of our hands and place it in front of her feet. She glances at Konata and then me, frowning at us both. She picks up the heavy box of manga's and walks through the crowd placing it on her desk. Then she comes back to retrieve us.

"Now. Konata please explain." She says gently. I find it remarkable how calm she can remain while there is still a large crowd gathered around us.

"I just wanted to make some money, is all.." She gulps. " I just wanted to f-find…" She trails off. Miyuki looks at her sympathetically before looking at me with the same look. We both know what Konata was going to say. Some of the crowd begin to walk away, disappointed by the lack of fighting while other stay and glance at Konata. Not many people have seen Konata so upset. Miyuki stands behind Konata and hugs her tightly. I sigh, and shoo the crowd away. Some ask questions, some don't. I see Miyuki whispering in Konata's ear, Konata listening intently, wiping a few tears away from her face, and nodding. I shuffle up to Konata.

"Sorry." I whisper. I should've realised. Konata nods and pats my shoulder. I smile at her faintly before returning to my seat. My classmates watch Miyuki, mesmerised by her calming abilities. They are all surprised at how quickly she can take care of a situation. A few seconds later, Miyuki and Konata break off, returning to their seats. This time, nobody asks questions.

* * *

After the rocky start to the day, our day continues as normal. Kuroi was late, I copied Miyuki's notes at lunch and we all talked. Despite the day - apart from the morning - being so normal, it was like we were all holding back, not speaking out minds at lunch, just saying what seemed appropriate. Nobody wanted to say anything that would upset anyone, so we were all cautious with out words.

Now as I walk home, I can't help but check my phone, hoping I haven't missed any more calls. Unfortunately, the number has increased - doubled in fact. 6 missed calls. I begin to walk slower. I'm in no rush to get home anyway.


	32. Airhead Blues

**Chapter 32**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I slam the door behind me. Not intentionally, not really. I just don't realise my own strength. I poke my head through the living room door to see Matsuri, hunched over on the couch. I'm surprised that she bothered to get out of her bedroom. She looks at me, we're both surprised to see each other.

"You came back, huh?" She smiles a small smile, mocking me.

"Why wouldn't I come back?" I answer her question, with a question.

"I don't know…." She pauses. " You wouldn't be the first." I grit my teeth. This is what she wanted to happen. She made it clear that she didn't like Kagami - or whoever she thought she was- in the house. I frown at her. At one point, last night, I thought that maybe, I could rely a little on Matsuri. How stupid of me. Her and Inori are both useless witches.

"Shut up." I reply weakly, knowing how childish I sound. Matsuri laughs aloud, also knowing how bad the reply was.

"Good one Tsukasa." She laughs sarcastically.

"Shut up Matsuri! You may not have realised this, but you've ruined my life! Mum's life, Dad's life. This is all because of you!" She deserved that. Honestly, if I had'nt said that now, i would have said that in front of a lot of people. Matsuri may not admit it, but she left kagami in that bruning house. I refuse to belive otherwise. Matsuri remains quiet.

"And another thing! Stop wallowing in your own self pity! I can't wait for you to rot away in that bedroom of yours!" I rant angrily. My anger towards Matsuri has been building up, and now it is being let out, like a kettle full of water being boiled and then letting the steam waft out.

I give her a glare before closing the door. Screw her. I don't need anybody anymore. Not in my family anyway.

I'm nearly at my room now. I smile. My room, my sanctuary. I can do whatever I want in there ; cry, laugh, sing, scream. I can just calm down in there, read a book or listen to music. The only thing I can't do in my room, is bake cookies. Which is a shame really, because then, I would hardly ever have to step out of my beautiful bedroom.

I open the door and scowl. Just when I thought that things were going to get better, I find my mother in my room. Even if she is cleaning, my room is hardly ever messy. No excuses will be tolerated. She turns around and gives me a look that I can't decipher. She looks like a mix between queasy, happy, sad, and angry. I never thought that such an emotion was available. Suddenly she comes over and hugs me firmly, as if she were never going to let me go. I squirm uncomfortably. I'm angry with her, I don't want her affection.

"Tsukasa." She breathes, letting me go. She holds my shoulders and looks at me sternly. " You should have called."

Not calling, was the whole point. I can't understand this woman. I remember the time Matsuri did the same thing - well, she was drunk and had been spending the night at her boyfriends, but she didn't call - and my mother's reaction was definitely not like this one.

"I don't care." I say, sounding like the stereotypical teenager. Angry, uncaring, and ungrateful. Unfortunately, my mother, doesn't let go of my shoulders.

"You want to talk about it?" She asks, looking more gentle and less stern. But stern or not stern, why would I want to talk about ' it'? What is it? I have nothing to talk about. And if I did, I wouldn't be telling her.

"No." I say bluntly, trying to hint out that I don't want to talk about anything. But it seems that my mother is being persistent. I wish that I knew what she wants me to say.

" Has something happened?"

What could happen? I've been to school. The only that really happened was the whole thing with Konata, but, would I really tell that to her? No. I'll keep it to myself.

"No, I just need to do some homework." I say calmly. It's true, I have got a little bit of homework. Only a little, but world history is not my strong point. Then again, I don't _have_ a strong point in academics. And, honestly, I don't know if my mother does. I've only ever seen her cook and clean, so how would I know?

"Do you need help?" No, I'll call Miyuki, who is probably a lot more helpful than you. I have a feeling that if I said that, she would just hug me again.

"No. " I say quickly. She has to leave now.

"OK, I'll see you later." As she leaves the room I smile. As she closes the door I grin. As she sighs, I get my homework.

I completely underestimated this homework. I begin to flick through my heavy textbook. I've already been trying to find the answers for about half an hour, even though it seems like forever. I hear a loud knock on my door and sigh. But, at least I have an excuse to take a break.

"Mum wants your help with dinner." Inori says bitterly. Seems like she's still sore from that argument. I assumed her and Mum would've made it up by now, especially seeing as Mum's been all soft on me.

"Can't you do it?" I complain. I don't want to be talking to Mum again. It's be like a interrogation.

"She asked for you specially." Inori says, shrugging. She seems pleased that she doesn't have to do it.

"Fine…" I mutter. I needed a break from homework anyway.

As soon as I step into the kitchen, I wonder why I've even been asked to help. Mum looks like she's got everything under control to me. In fact, I could just silently walk out now, and maybe she wouldn't even notice. I don't want to spend time with her, and if I could just creep out the door then….

"Tsukasa!"

Seems like I can't get out of it now. I stand up, and take hold of one of the various pans. I'm not saying a word.

* * *

At dinner, everyone seems a little tense. And instead of Matsuri being absent, Inori has decided to skip dinner. Which, isn't really all that surprising. I'd half expected her to move out. And there are only two explanations why she didn't ; Mum changed her mind, or Inori hasn't got any cash, seeing as she never decided to get a part time job. Mum keeps glancing at me, as if making sure that I'm still ' OK'. I don't know what got in to her but whatever has, I wish it would come straight back out. Dad is also acting a little more...accepting. Looking at both Matsuri and I kindly, even though no one is speaking. There have been a few pitiful attempts to start a conversation, but seeing as i refuse to talk and Matsuri is anti-social, the idea of a chat, seems very unrealistic. Golden silence.

* * *

After dinner, I once again find myself in my sanctuary. I sit on my bed, letting my mind flow. I'm trying to think this day over, figure it out. Mum has been acting so strange...as if she's pretending that everything's ok. Even though, of course, it's not. I don't know what's made her act so...flawless. Or maybe ignorant is the word. How can she just ignore the fact that one of her _daughters _is gone! And not just that, how can she ignore that fact that her oldest daughter is avoiding her on purpose. I feel myself tense, suddenly feeling the urge to cry. I'm getting so worked up, trying to work this out. Should it all be simple? Or am I just dumb? Dumb, stupid, idiotic - so many words. Maybe that's what my parents think I am. But why do i need to insert the word 'maybe' into that sentence. It's obvious. I was always the airhead. Kagami, was the twin who could use her brain, think for herself. I've always just been the girl who would make a good wife. Do I not have any ambitions, or dreams, or goals that my parents can acknowledge? Yes, I admit I would like to get married, but I also want to have a good career, a life of my own, that doesn't revolve around my husband, and how clean my house is. Is that too much to ask? Too much for parents - especially my mother - to understand.

Now, I'm not only thinking about tears, I am in tears. Not loud sobs of distress, the tears that roll silently down the side of your cheek before slipping down onto your tongue so you can taste the salty liquid. I quickly wipe away my tears ; if anybody happens to enter my room - which will almost certainly happen - then I don't want them to know I've been crying. I would look weak. Compared to my sisters, I always have been the disappointment really. My three older sisters have always been clever and to a certain extent, hardworking. Then there's me, the domestic goddess, who apparently can't think. I try to push these thoughts to the back of my mind - I'll just make myself cry again.

I lean over the side of my bed, fishing for my sister's dairy. I quickly find what I'm looking for. I pick up the diary and open it to a random page near the back. Hopefuly, reading my sisters diary will calm me down. It has in the past.

_The world is always judging,_

_Those around us,_

_Close to us,_

_And we judge them too,_

_We just don't like to admit it,_

_Of course not_

_And these chains of pressure_

_Are holding me down_

_But I'll be set free_

_And become a dreamer_

I have to say, that is the most inspiring thing I've ever read. So touching as well. If only I'd knew before that she wrote poetry. I would'nt have laughed. Not that i would have ever laughed at Kagami. Not ever. A knock on the door annoys me. No prizes for guessing who it is. I don't say anything, just wait for her to invite herself in. She opens the door slowly and smiles at me gently. She obviously did'nt understand my earlier hints. Maybe I'll have to threaten her.

"Are you alright Tsukasa?" She asks, probably thinking that I've got some kind of problem. Just because Inori and Matsuri are messed up does'nt mean I have to follow suit.

"What kind of problems could a moron have?" I ask loudly, my voice full of anger and resentment. I look at her bitterly. She looks so surprised by my comment. She walks over and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Tsukasa...You don't think your stupid do you?"

"Oh no, just my parents." I'm only saying what I think. Ha-ha, believe it or not, I can _actually_ think. I must amaze her.

"We don't think your stupid...Your a lovely, intelligent, beauti-"

"Yes, well how come I was always Kagami's shadow?" I ask sharply, cutting her off. I'm not saying that I've ever hated being in Kagami's shadow, but if she's telling the truth, then should'nt her and my Father have veiwed me and Kagami as equals? Yes, lets see how she explains this.

"You never were." She says, clenching one of her hands into fists. She always does that when she's anxious.

"It's not my fault I'm stupid." I mutter, feeling more like Matsuri than my usual self. I get up off the bed, taking my sisters diary, and head to the bathroom. The only room with a lock.

* * *

AN: A little longer than my previous chapters :) And thank you for 50+ reviews, I'm happy that people are still reading :D


	33. Contact

**Chapter 33**

**Kagami**

* * *

This is all so heart-rending. I miss her, now more than ever. Stupid café', reminding me of Konata. I need to contact her. Of course, I left her my phone. But, in places like these, there is always a pay phone. I smile to myself. Just one short conversation. Her existence makes me smile, just knowing that she's out there, going to school, playing games, being herself. It all makes me so happy. But sad, at the same time. Because I know, I belong back with her. Me being without her, is like bread without butter. Plain and uninteresting. I want to see her, just one more time, and then I'd be so happy. I begin to remember all the things what we did, all the things she gave me, all these memories that are engraved on my heart. Just to hear her voice, it would be so beautiful. But I have to remember, I've brought this upon myself. Just one thing, to hear her, or even better, see her. So much difference between her and me, yet there is still that red string that attaches us to each other. I truly love her , with all my heart. Sometimes, my dreams of her are so vivid, I can feel my heart beat quicken, and my face blush, even in my sweet dreams.

I walk out of my flat, being careful to lock the door. Even though there's not much to steal, I doubt that having something stolen is pleasant. As I walk down he stairs, I wave at my manager. He waves back politely, but I can see that the corner of his eyes is keeping a look out for customers. I feel bad for him. It's only a matter of time before he gets closed down. I walk out of the door, before stopping abruptly and grinning to myself. I walk along the street happily, hardly noticing the rain that is pelting down from a grey, cloudy sky. I'm glad that nobody bothers to wonder why a teenage girl is walking along a street, grinning even though she is getting wet. I couldn't care less about rain at the moment.

I try to look for a pay phone. There has always been one thing I have always hated about pay phones. People always listen to your conversations. And sometimes, if they care, or more commonly, are particularly nosy, these people will comment on your conversation, and often stereotype you. Then again, I'm being a hypocrite. The last time I used a pay phone, I admit, I did listen to the person who was in front of me. And I did stereotype them.

I walk down the street, still ignoring the rain. I smile. A gas station. Gas stations always have pay phones. If they don't, then they're terrible gas stations and should be closed down. I never in my life thought I'd care so much about a pay phone. At a gas station. I walk past the cars and people, who are filling their cars with fuel. I've always loved the smell of petrol. I don't know why. I walk closer to the pay phone, smiling because there is only one person. And that person looks like they're just about to finish their phone call.

"Yes, Mother. I understand- yes, yes. OK. Right. I'll see you soon,. Yes. Bye."

The man puts down the phone looking irritated, probably feelings like he's wasted his money on that conversation. He smiles at me though, shrugging his shoulders. He seems nice. He walks back to his car, and gets in. My turn. I feel around in my pocket. Oh c'mon. I've only got enough for about 2 minutes. As if I forgot to bring money. 2 minutes will have to do then….

OK, Konata's mobile number…..55564231937. I'm sure that's it. I push my money through the slit in the machine next to the phone and quickly dial the number. It's ringing…..still ringing….For God's sake pick up! Please!

"Hello?"

It's her! That's her! It's Konata! What do I say? What am I supposed to say? Geez, I can be so stupid sometimes. I love this girl. I can say whatever the heck I want to.

"Konata…" I whisper. So much to say, but so little I can muster.

"Kagami!" her voice immediately brightens in surprise.

"I've only got two minutes!" I say sadly, not wanting to miss the opportunity. Yes, I could always come back again but, I've got her here, right now, and I don't want to ever let go.

"When time runs out take a reverse charge call! just call me back, OK?" She says excitedly. I can almost see her, holding her mobile. I nod before realising that she' cant see me.

"Yeah OK, Konata I miss you so-"

A loud beep cuts me off. For God's sake. I didn't want to waste to much of her money on a reverse charge call. I quickly dial the reverse charge number, telling the operator the number I want to call. This time, the phone has no chance to ring. It is immediately picked up.

"Kagami!" I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Konata, I just want to say that I really, really love you and miss you so much." I say truthfully, my heart suddenly feeling as if it's half full and yet half empty.

"Kagami, I miss you too. And I'm going to find you. Don't think you've got rid of me." She jokes.

"Konata…..It's been so hard." I sigh, feeling a pit in my stomach.

"It's been hard for everyone…God I wish I could just kiss you." I smile. That's just like Konata.

"You know I feel the same." I feel my eyes watering, but not out of sadness. More like an odd type of crying. I feel like I belong with her, yet, I feel happy and content just hearing hr voice. So many contradictory feelings.

"Kagami….Your OK, aren't you?" I can hear the concern in her voice, it warms my heart.

"As OK as I can be without you." I say playfully, trying to picture her reaction. She chuckles.

"Well, I'll be sorting that out." She answers, her voice somewhat happy but yet somehow, hiding something. I'm not going to ask. Whatever Konata's got planned…..I just don't want to ruin this.

"Konata. I love you."

"I love you too."

"How's Tsukasa?" Not only do i miss Konata, i also miss my twin.

She pauses for a few seconds. "Urm, she's OK. But she misses you a lot. but, she'll be...fine." I believe her. there's a nagging thought at the back of my mind shouting ' she's lying!' but I choose to ignore it. i want to believe that my sister is OK.

I smile. That's all I wanted to hear. Those words. I look behind me realising that someone is waiting. He glares at me before tapping his watch. I sigh. I tried to make this perfect and then he had to spoil it.

"I'm so sorry Konata. I have to go."

She sighs. "OK. I'll miss you."

I'm not good with goodbyes. After saying goodbye to Konata that day, I don't think I'll ever be able to say it to her. I'll stay by her forever and- the man pushes past me grabbing the phone. I glare at him before walking away. I begin to walk home. And it's still raining. Raining on my parade more like.


	34. Planning

**Chapter 34**

**Konata**

* * *

She called. Kagami, called. I can feel a fresh burst of determination conquering my body. And heart and soul, and whatever else it may need to conquer. She's out there. And that's all I can think about. Her. Me. Together. That's how it should be. And I'm going to find her. I'm going to leave tomorrow. And I don't' care if she's in another country. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life to find her. As long as I follow through on this one thing. This one thing. But of course, this will need planning. I have a list of plces where I'm going to go, and in what order. I can't just go out and expect to find her. life does'nt work like that. I'm worked hard on this. This will all be worth it.

But, I'm not saying that it will be easy to find her. Not just the finding part, but the leaving part. I try not to think about this, but what's my Dad going to say when he find's out that I'm not on a school trip. I'm all he has anymore. I've never understood why my Mother choose him, of all the men in the world, but they must have loved each other. And sometimes, I hate myself for looking so much like her. How would I like if Kagami died, and I had to spend everyday with her twin, who looks almost exactly like her. It would be a constant reminder of the person I'd lost. And whenever I see my Dad looking fondly at my Mother's picture, I always feel guilty. He has to spend everyday living with a replica of his dead wife.

But as I said, I try to keep my thoughts away from that idea. I've already packed. A map, clothes, money. Everything I think I'll need. My thoughts switch back to leaving. Dad and Yutaka. I've thought about leaving Dad, but I've never really thought about how this might effect Yutaka. Am I being selfish here? I know by now that nothing can change my mind but….I don't want to think about this. I'm a stubborn person. Nothing will or can change my mind. But…..Should I warn Yutaka or something? I mean, what's a frail little girl like her going to do? Or am I just underestimating her strength? God knows. Well that was cheesy. Even for me.

I sit on my bed, almost expecting someone to come into my room and yell, ' Stop! Don't go!". But that only happens in anime. Nobody knows I'm going. Except for Kagami. I wonder how she's doing. Out there. By herself. Really I should've asked. Why the heck didn't I ask? Maybe I was just caught up in the moment. Her. Calling. All the time we've spent together. All that time I teased, but wasn't really teasing. All those times I joked but wasn't really joking. All those times I've missed her. Sometimes, I ask myself,' Why didn't you just tell her in the first place?'. Why didn't I just tell her one day how I really felt about her? Why didn't she do the same? Were we both embarrassed? The first time I thought of her as more than a friend, I refused to admit my thoughts and feelings. I didn't want to think about that. I wanted to go back to having no concerns, being carefree. Wouldn't that be wonderful? If you could just go back to when you had no troubles or problems. I bet Dad would go back to see Mum. No doubt about it. Sometimes, I'm really tempted to talk to him about all of this. But then I tell myself to forget about it.

But then again, there is two people who I should be able to talk to about this. I should be able to talk to Tsuaksa. She knows. But, I'm being a little wary of Tsukasa lately. And that's mainly because at school, I was looking across the room, bored. And then, I saw Kagami. And I was so sure it was her. I could just see her there, scribbling down notes. I wanted it so much. And then she puts up her hand.

"_Yes Tsukasa?"_

And honestly, I felt like I could've cried right then. She was right there. There! And then, she was gone. And Tsukasa was there. And I hate myself for thinking this, but I wished right then that Tsukasa was Kagami. And then I felt horrible for the rest of the day. And I couldn't bring myself to face Tsukasa. In case it all happened again. In case I wished that Tsuaksa was her twin. Until then, I had never really wished that one twin was the other. Never.

The other person, who I should be able to trust, is of course, Miyuki. And I do trust her. But…it's like I want to talk to someone, yet I want to shield myself away from everyone and everything. Like I want something, but I'm pushing away. I think sometimes, I do want to talk to Miyuki, but then, I just don't. Like I remember something that makes me shy away. Miyuki's been so helpful, I just don't understand what makes me so afraid about speaking to her. Maybe it's because I'm not sure if she'll understand. Sometime's, I think Miyuki can be a little mysterious. I don't know why. But, sometimes, I find myself wondering if she's ever been in love. She seems so technical - but lovely all the same - that I sometimes wonder if people can approach her with the prospect of love. So basically, I find myself pulling away from everyone around me, and keeping myself to myself. For Kagami.

But, at the end of that matter, I do need Miyuki's help. I pick up my mobile and find Miyuki on my contact list.

"Hello. Miyuki speaking." I want to laugh at how polite she is.

"Hey Miyuki. This is Konata."

"Oh! Did you want something?" She's asking a question but it does'nt sound like she's asking a question. Then again, it's not a question if you know the answer.

"Well..." I pause. "I'm going to find Kagami. But, I need help." I've found that it's always better to tell Miyuki straight away about what you want to do. Plus, it means you get an answer quicker.

"I asummed that." She's not surprised at all. "I guess you want to know where to start your search."

"That's right."

"Well, Konata. I assume that Kagami had little money for travelling - which means she could'nt have gotten far. I also think that Kagami would'nt want to go anywhere that has no relation to her past. Kagami would want to remember her friends and family. But, at the momment, that's all I can think of. I'm very sorry Konata, but you'll have to figure the rest of this out by yourself."

I'd never thought of it like that.

"OK Miyuki. Thank you for the help."

"Good luck Konata."

I hang up. Miyuki has been a great help in my opinion.


	35. New Places

**Chapter 35**

**Konata**

* * *

Urgh. I _hate_ my alarm clock. I lean over the side of the bed and slap the top of my alarm clock. The only good thing about an alarm clock, is that you can switch it off. Or smash it into pieces. I slowly drag myself out of bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning as I go. I pick up yesterday's socks, doubting that they'll be any school socks in my drawer. But then again, I'm not going to school, am I? But, to get away from here, I need to follow the story that I've told my dad. And I'd really like to keep the lying to a minimum.

I quickly scramble into my uniform, feeling a little queasy. I persuade myself that I'm just excited. Anxious, excited, happy, sad. I brush my hair until it looks flawless, making sure that every single knot is now non-existent. I put down my brush and pick up a pen.

I enter the kitchen with my suitcase, as if I'm reminding my dad that I'm going on the 'school fieldtrip' today. Yutaka and my father are already drinking tea, the aroma wafting through the room.

"Hey! You're up early." My dad comments. Yes, I admit I'm lazy, but this is more or less the same time I wake up everyday. On weekdays, anyway.

"Well." I say anxiously, hoping he doesn't spot the worry in my voice. " I'm looking forward to my fieldtrip."

"Ah, of course. I'll be happy to walk with you this morning, you know, to see your OK"

He can't walk with me! He would start talking to me and then I'd feel bad for lying and then I'd tell him everything and then, it would all go wrong! Everything!

"Sorry, dad" I say, hoping I sound calmer than I feel. " I'm meeting my friends down the street. It wouldn't be cool if you walked to the station with us."

" Am I that embarrassing?" He asks, pretending to be hurt.

"Yes. That, and clingy." I joke, laughing nervously.

"Well, if that's how it is….I'll wave you off down the street." He decides firmly, pouring me a cup of tea.

"Have a good time, onee-san" Yutaka smiles at me, holding her own cup of tea.

"I'm sure I'll have a great time." I reply, sitting down at the table. "Wait, dad what time is it?" I ask.

"Umm…..10 past 8. Why?"

" Oh no! I said I'd meet my friends at _5_ past!" I suddenly stand up, nearly knocking over my drink. "I'm sorry, I have to go!"

I quickly take my cup over to the sideboard, near the fridge. I discreetly slip a note underneath the cup, in view.

_Dear Dad and Yutaka._

_I guess you know I'm gone by now? A call from school maybe? But please do not worry. I have gone to find Kagami, and hopefully, I'll be back soon. I promise I'll keep myself out of trouble too._

_Love you lots,_

_Konata._

_And that's all I had time to write. I grab my suitcase as dad stands up, following me out of the door._

"Be a good girl, Konata. Love you lots." He says, kissing the top of my forehead, like he's done since I was a little girl.

"I promise, dad! I promise."

I step out of the door, dragging my suitcase along after me. I wave goodbye to dad and Yutaka, who is now also standing at the door. They wave back.

I walk along the road, still smiling, just in case dad or Yutaka are still watching. Walk. Just keep walking, I tell myself, desperate to reach the end of this road. The end of this _goddamn_ road. It's as if this one road, is a metaphor. Get through this, and I can do anything. Well, that's what my heart believes anyway. My brain keeps telling me the truth. This is only one road. One, unimportant, average road.

Whatever this road means to me, I've come to the end of it. I'm at the end of the road. And I run. I forget about the weight of the suitcase, slowing me down, and I just _run_. And all I can think about, is her. The person who I'm doing this for. And that, makes me run faster. I swear.

By the time I reach the train station, I'm panting. It feels like I've got asthma. I ran all the way here. I rest my hands on my knees, bending slightly. And I just breathe. And it feels great. With every breath, it feels like I'm being recharged. Like a Ds being plugged into it's charger, I guess.

I quickly board a train, glad that I travel on a train 5 days a week. Of course, when you travel on a train so often, you buy monthly cards, so you don't have to pay for individual trains every day. But, I'm not going to school. I've boarded a train that I don't go on 5 days a week. And, I feel free, in an odd way. Technically, I could have escaped on a train pretty much everyday of my life. But then again, this isn't escaping. This is finding. Finding Kagami.

I sit on what seems like the only empty seat in the carriage, in between a middle aged man and an older lady, looking between 40 and 80. Her hairs grey, but she has a young face, hardly any wrinkles - which makes it hard to guess her age. I try not to lean on either of them, feeling awkward squished between them. I look at the map, conveniently placed opposite me on the wall. According to the map, I've got quite a few stops until I can get off. I decided last night where I was going to stop first. And, I'm wishing so badly that she's there...

" Do you want a mint?"

I look at the woman besides me, quite confused. I've never met anybody, who offers strangers mints. Never. I shake my head weakly. I can never eat strong mints, and judging by her breath, they're plenty strong.

"Sure? You're looking a little pale..."

"No thank you. I'm fine." I reply quickly, hoping that my excuse sounds decent. I sigh as the train bumps a little, causing me to lean slightly on the middle aged man. Just a few more stops. A few more stops. I will find her. I must find her. I will be lucky. I have planned this. Planned it well. I was thinking about what Miyuki said, and I made a list of where Kagami might be. Must be. Next stop - Iwatsuki. It doesn't take to long to get there and not too much money - with a rail card. Plus we have memories there. Happy, happy memories. Even if it was only one day out, it was one of the best days of my life.

* * *

AN: I'm sorry this one took a while to come out. And by the way, Iwatsuki is 17km from Kasukabe - where Lucky Star is set. ;D


	36. Dolls and Sakura

**Chapter 36**

**Konata**

* * *

"_Konata! Konata! Wake up you idiot!"_

_I look up groggily and smile, seeing Kagami glaring at me angrily on the train. Miyuki stands next to her, holding on to a pole. I look around, to see Tsukasa sitting next to me, looking slightly embarrassed._

" _Hey guys…" I mumble, shrugging my shoulders._

" _Don't 'hey' me. We could've missed our stop if I hadn't woken you up. We've been trying to get you to wake up for the past 10 minutes! Konata, we're nearly at Iwatsuki, and you've just slept instead of taking in the scenery!" Kagami rants angrily, attracting the attention of a few people. I just smile in response._

"_Now, why don't we get off the train before we miss out stop…" Miyuki advises quietly, not wanting to anger the great Kagamin. Tsukasa nods in agreement, realising how near the stop is. We only just get off in time before the doors shut. Which proves the Miyuki is most probably a lucky charm. Or Kagami, seeing as she woke me up. I chuckle out loud, thinking of Kagami being a lucky charm As if….._

" _What're you laughing at, squirt?" Kagami demands, continuing to walk through the crowded station._

" _I thought of you with cat ears." I lie, knowing that will embarrass her. She immediately turns red, clenching her fists._

" _I would never wear cat ears." She says, walking slightly quicker._

" _The cat ears were black by the way. They matched the colour of your-"_

" _Don't even start!" She interrupts, walking even quicker still. " Why do you think I'm evil? With my 'black soul'." Actually, I wasn't going to say anything about her soul that time. But, I won't tell her that._

" _OK! OK!" I smile, catching up with her quickly. " Where are we going anyway?"_

" _I don't know…" She pauses, looking around, stopping in her tracks. " Where are Miyuki and Tsukasa…?" I erupt into a fit of giggles. We've been here for 5 minutes,. And we've lost half the group. Or they lost us, I guess._

" _It's not funny! You know what Tsukasa's like…" She sighs and shakes her head, and I can't help but think how pretty Kagami looks today. And I don't mean tsundere pretty._

" _She's with Miyuki! She'll be fine." I grab her arm and pull her through the bustling station. She's still reluctant, but the main thing is, that she's coming. Now ,we can finally let loose. Screw exams! If I can make Kagami say that by the end of the day, then my life if complete._

" _Where are we going, shorty?" I've noticed that she's insulting my height more than ever today. I guess I'll just have to embarrass her more often then._

" _If you keep calling me short, I'll keep you guessing." I warn, still pulling on her arm. I'll have to keep her guessing - I have no idea where we're going either. But, I'm sure I'll be able to think of something. _

" _Urm….Can we have lunch…I ur…skipped breakfast." Kagami says, noticing a nice looking café._

" _Yes, but your paying for yourself…" I begin to walk to the café. " And you don't have to lie about skipping breakfast." I say, trying to keep a straight face, waiting for her reaction._

" _Hey!" She yelps. " Ask Tsuaksa! We both skipped breakfast, you little geek!" I laugh. She's never used the word 'geek' before._

" _OK. Stop getting all defensive." I say, walking into the café. She follows me slowly, looking around. Probably desperate to find a menu. I have to say, she's cute being a glutton - to a guy, obviously. She picks a table, and sits down. I'm not surprised when she picks up the menu._

" _So, what are you getting?" I ask, sitting down on the chair next to her. She looks up, putting the menu down._

" _I'm just going to get onigori and a drink."_

_Wow, she really must be on a diet if she's getting onigori. Even though, she doesn't really need to diet. Not really._

" _Want me to pay?" I ask. I've got enough cash. There wasn't any good games out this whole month!_

" _Geez, Konata. We're not on a date - I can pay for myself."_

_I kind of want to say, ' I wish we were on a date'. Just to wind her up. _

" _OK, give me your money and I'll go buy your stuff. I'm getting a coffee." _

_So she hands me the money. I go up to the counter - after waiting in line - and order, before taking back the tray of things and placing it on the table._

" _Here ya' go." I say, sitting back down._

" _Thanks." She smiles at me before frowning at the onigori. I knew she was on a diet. She begins to eat and finishes quickly. I smile. Kagami, you glutton. Even if you are on a diet. I sip my drink cautiously, knowing how hot coffee can be. Hot, hot, hot._

* * *

" _So, where next?" Kagami asks. I've suddenly become day trip planner, it seems._

" _We could go to the doll place." I say, once again trying to keep a straight face. I've always had a feeling that dolls freak Kagami out._

" _The doll place? Do you mean the doll museum?" She asks calmly. I nod, hoping that she'll get all defensive again._

" _Yeah."_

" _If you insist Konata. I didn't think you'd be into stuff like dolls, but fine."_

_So we end up walking to the doll museum. And, I really wish I hadn't suggested it. How many tourists! Yes tourists are great, but I hate the fact that you can't tell what they're saying. They could be insulting Japan! Or even worse, they could be insulting anime. Which is not good._

_Kagami and I walk up to the fourth floor where the museum is and begin to look around._

" _Hey, you see this one?" Kagami says, tapping a glass container with a tiny doll trapped inside. "Made is 1899"_

_I can't believe Kagami actually bothers to read those stupid little plaques that show information about the dolls. But I like Kagami being smart. I'm kinda surprised that she doesn't have a boyfriend. But then again, she's always shouting so, I'm kinda not surprised too. I like Kagami. I like her a lot._

_We walk around the doll museum until it finally gets boring - for Kagami, I mean. I was bored ages ago. So, we go down on to the lower floors - into a doll gift shop…urgh- to look at all the dolls. Yes. More dolls. I see Kagami looking at one fondly - even thought to me, they all look the same. I think she might buy it. And I thought dolls freaked her out. Pfft. As if. Eventually she stops looking at the doll._

_I turn around - I might as well have a quick look around myself. I immediately bump into someone. Someone taller than me - ha-ha what a surprise._

" _Konata!"_

_Any chance I'm being stalked? I open my eyes to see Miyuki smiling at me._

" _I'm sorry we didn't call. Tsukasa forgot her phone and mine wasn't charged"_

_What's the point of bringing out an uncharged phone. This seems so set up. But, I'm not going to questions anybody. I just want to get out of this blasted doll museum._

_" We're heading to the sakura gardens. I guess you guys are coming?" Miyuki continues, oblivious that I can't care less._

_" Yeah, sure." I mutter. Sakura trees? It feels like we all see sakura blossoms all the time. Everywhere. But I guess if they make Miyuki happy, then we might as well go. I wonder if you can see a sakura blossom on Miyuki's hair?_

_We begin to walk to the gardens, Kagami and Tsukasa chatting about what they had done with their day. Miyuki listens happily, adding comments sometimes. Not that her comments are amazing. I much prefer Kagami's. Comments, that is. We finally reach Iwatsuki gardens, and I have to say, the sakura does look beautiful. Lovely. The best I've ever seen it._

_" Wow." Kagami breaths, as if she's never seen a sakura tree in her life. Tsukasa does'nt say anything. And i dont' bother to even try to guess what Miyuki's thinking. It'll be way to complicated. We stumble through the crowd. I hang on to Kagami's pigtails. Everybody's so tall._

_" Damn." She says suddenly. " Tsukasa where are you?"_

_I giggle. Miyuki will probably blend into the trees. And Tsukasa will go look for cute animals or something. Kagami pulls me through the crowd. I'm sure that she's pleased. I've never though how annoying must be to have a twin. Like, you have to strive to be unique. Ha-ha, Kagami's unique all right._

_" Can we go sit down?" I ask, pointing to a bench. There's nobody surrounding the wooden benach. It seems so perfect._

_" Fine." She says, pretend that she hates to sit down. As if. I've seen Kagami doing PE. I've seen her in a PE kit too._

_We sit down toegther, awkwardly close. But it's not awkward. Not at all._

_" Are'nt the sakura great this year?" She says absently, probably day-dreaming._

_" I was thinking that too, acctually." I admit, just as a sudden gust of wind blows some sakura in our direction. I accidentally slide towards Kagami, ending up lying on her lap. I can feel myself blush. Everybody's watching us - probably. I stare into her eyes, but out of the corener of my eye, I can see she's blushing too... God...I did'nt expect that to happen. We sit silently for a few seconds. And I swear I forget about how many people might be watching us. Oh well. They obviously know that we're just friends._

_" Urm...could you get off me, Konata?"_

_I nod weakly, pulling myself up and sliding back along the bench. Further away than I started. She did'nt call me small. She called me Konata. I just realized._

That seems like a long time ago. In reality, it's not. 3 months at the most. And when I find Kagami, there's one thing I need her to do.' Screw exams.'


	37. Not A Morning Person

**Chapter 37**

**Kagami**

* * *

5:30 AM. Too early to be up, but it's the time I set my alarm clock to. Because that way, I can laze around in bed for about half an hour before I actually have to get dressed. I hate mornings. And what makes it worse is that I have to walk to work in a maid costume. And words will never explain how embarrassing that is. Not only do people stare at your face, some people stare at your legs - I'm still not sure if that's better worse.

I pull the covers over my head, still not wanting to get up. 5:45. How come time passes so quickly when you're in bed? It's as if you blink, and 15 minutes has passed. It's nearly 6:00 AM and I feel as if I've been in bed for about 5 minutes. I drag myself out from under the cover and begin to get dressed. And even better, I have just realised it's raining. Lucky me.

I quickly get dressed, hating the dress. Well, ha, this dress could pass of for a short top and a mini skirt. But, no, it's definitely a maid dress. 6:20. Maybe I'm luckier than I thought. Today I have time for breakfast.

I walk down the stairs quickly, feeling embarrassed if I happen to pass anyone. But, who's up at 6:25 am? Really? It's not very likely that I'll meet anyone. Except for maybe that manager of this hotel. He gets up early and sets out a serve yourself breakfast for the few guests that say here. As soon as I get to the table, I ignore everything except the serving bowl of rice. According to the café' I work at, I have to keep to a certain weight, or I'm fired. According to them, there are plenty of girls who are dying to work there. As if. Most of my colleagues are dying to get out of there.

After breakfast, I begin to walk to work, desperately trying to ignore the rain. And the few people who stare. It seems that people have got used to seeing a purple haired maid girl walk to the station every morning. I walk as quickly as possible to get to work, knowing that the boss will take away parts of my pay if I'm late.

I finally reach the station - with about 30 seconds to spare - and rush to the maid café'. I am immediately greeted by my boss.

" Please try and be punctual, Kasumi." He says. I would like to point out that A, I am not late, and B, there are girls who are now arriving - after me. But, no arguing with the boss. Unfortunately, I need this job, and if I answer back, the boss will like me even less. And then I'd definitely be fired.

" I'm very sorry. I will try." I say, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. A skill that is hard to master.

" Yes. Please do." He says before walking off to do whatever he does.

" He giving you a hard time?" asks Haruka, walking past. Haruka's a little older than me, by about a year or two, but we still get on well. She hasn't worked here long either - well, about two months- and also needs the money. According to the rumour I heard, her parents chucked her out. But, I don't really know if that's true.

" You know what it's like." I mutter, still tired.

" You'll grow on him…I promise. He always like that when somebody starts."

" How many people have started since you've been here?"

" 4. But we were understaffed when I came." She admits. " Plus, I heard that the boss thinks your cute." She adds.

" Eurgh. That's even worse."

"Don't worry. He thinks half the girls here are cute. He's a bit of a pervert."

I laugh. He's a boss of a maid café. Doesn't the job,' boss of maid café' just make you think of the stereotypical pervert?

" Oh well. We better get working anyway." I say, in a better mood. And so, we wait for customers. This place isn't very busy until about 9:00 AM. That's when all the bachelors come in for breakfast, or a snack or something. Then at about 9:30 AM, the café' fills with manga-ka's, who mostly come to work. The thing with manga-ka's is, their always asking if you could pose for them. I always pretend to be busy. Or deaf.

So, I have a few hours until the bachelors come in. All the employee's - me included- just sit at the tables and chat. And occasionally, one of us will get up to serve a customer. We've got a system devised, because customers usually come in one's at this time. So we all take turns.

" Hey, Kasumi." Says Rina, a girl who's around my age. " Your time to shine." She points to a man, heading towards the counter.

I get to the counter before him, positioning myself behind it so he can see my dress. The boss is always very specific that we show our dresses whenever we can.

" Hey, can I have….one coffee please." He says, adjusting his tie. Probably an office worker, by the looks of it.

" Will you be staying in? " I ask politely.

He looks around, gazing at the table where the other employees are sitting. Then he looks up, before glaring down at his watch.

"No, I better go…" He says, sounding slightly annoyed.

" I hope you can come again." I say, smiling so wide, that it kinda hurts. I turn around to make the coffee. What amazes me, is that all the stuff we serve here is pretty low quality, but people keep on coming. I give him the polystyrene cup, filled with watery coffee.

" Thanks." He says, giving me a smile, before turning and leaving. Apart from the employee's, the place is dead. Look like they'll be a lot of waiting until the next customer comes.


	38. From Bad To Worse

**Chapter 38**

**Misao**

* * *

School. What a waste of time. The teachers have no idea what they're talking about, and half the subjects are a load of rubbish anyway. And of course, at school, there is always some form of drama. In my case, the drama has a large label which reads 'Tsukasa.' She should go move to some other country. I doubt anybody would miss her. Except maybe that blockhead Konata and the moe one. But apart from that, nobody would mind. Maybe some people wouldn't even notice! Tsukasa is such an airhead anyway, I'm sure the school would benefit. Greatly, in fact. The only reason this school is open is because people like that tall pink haired girl get half decent scores. Apart from that, we're all idiots. Except Ayano. Yeah, she gets good grades. Especially in home economics. Ayano could beat Tsuaksa's lousy food any day.

Thank God. Sakuraba has actually decided to be here at a decent time. Then again, Sakuraba is an airhead. How did she even get through college? How did she get into a college? None of it makes sense.

" Kasukabe? "

" Yeah, yeah. I'm here." I say, only just loud enough to here. I should have just bunked off today. Sakuraba reads the register, in her usual boring voice. And my classmates answer, in their own, dull tone. Just like yesterday….

"Minegishi?"

" Here miss…."

Ayano. She always daydreaming during register. So, she always sounds distant - which makes her stand out from the rest of the monotone voices. I notice that everyday. What do you daydream about Ayano?

I lean back on my chair and look around the classroom. Pale yellow walls, identical wooden chairs, the blackboard at the front of the room. What am I doing here? Could somebody tell me? Is this all pointless? Because it damn well seems like it. I come here everyday, I go to lessons, and the highlight of my day is eating lunch. Is this what life is about? Because if it is, it's making me angry. Isn't there something more? What do you dream about Ayano….? Can't you tell me? Because maybe, if you told me your dream, I could spend my life doing something worthwhile. Instead of school, college, office work - most probably, looking at my last exam results. My life is so messed up. And the worst thing is, it doesn't matter. There are probably another 300 people thinking along the same lines as me. And doesn't that just show something.

" Hey, Misao?" I look up, still leaning back on my chair. The chair slowly slides forward, all four legs on the floor now.

" Yes Ayano?" I ask, suddenly feeling embarrassed for no reason. Well, not for any good reasons anyway.

" Aren't you coming to Social Studies?" She asks quietly, looking at the clock. That's great. Social studies. Another waste of time in the curriculum.

" Yeah, I can't just skip a class can I?" I mutter, getting up off my chair. Everybody's leaving while Sakuraba's just messing around on her mobile phone. Typical.

" I know that you would never skip class…" She says, a distant smile on her face. What are you daydreaming about now, Ayano? Do you ever concentrate?

We set off to class, walking slower than usual. Neither of us are desperate to get to social studies - worst class on earth. I just want to go home.

" Hey, Misao… You seem a little down today." She says, entering the social studies classroom. Luckily, we sit next to each other - because the teacher was too lazy to make a seating plan. Fine by me. I sit in my usual place, as Ayano drops her bag to the floor, sitting next to me. And the third seat, was Kagami's.

" I didn't get much sleep." I mutter ; and I'm not lying. I was thinking about ultimate questions. I'm sure it was a set homework task….in some kind of subject.

" You should try going to bed earlier." She smiles, picking a black ink pen from out of her bag. " Or setting your alarm later." She laughs. As usual, Ayano is in her usual good mood.

" I think I'll choose the second one, thanks." I joke in reply, also finding a pen. We always start the lesson with a starter, and then we go on to the main subject. But, I can't say I particularly care about my social studies grade. I don't know anybody in this class who does.

The teacher arrives, and once again, a register is called. Halfway down the list, she accidentally calls Hiiragi's name, and everybody goes tense. I don't know why. Was that girl really Hiiragi? Or was she just a android? Would she feel if I pushed her? And, would she ever be classed as a human again? No. She wouldn't. She was something out of a science fiction novel - and people fear the unknown.

The dreary lessons starts, and as usual, I don't pay attention. I can't keep my mind of her…..or should I say it? I sigh, clicking my pen repeatedly - just to annoy the teacher. Fun.

" Kasukabe?"

I lift my head up, surprised to hear the voice.

" Please pay attention."

False alarm.

* * *

And finally, it is the highlight of my day. After all those lessons, I am annoyed….and hungry.

" What have you brought in your bento Misao?" Ayano asks, walking along with me to out classroom. Except, I'm not going to our classroom. I'm going to Tsukasa's.

I enter the room, annoyed with lessons, and everything. And it's time to take it out on her. The girl with the android sister. Both those Hiiragi's are complete freaks. I quickly find the table where Tsukasa and Miyuki are seated. Turns out Konata's been a no - show.

"Hey, airhead." I smile, slamming my hand on the table, making them both jump.

" What do you want Misao?" Tsukasa asks bitterly, glaring at me. I ignore Ayano, who is peeking through the door.

" I wanted to tell you something…" I say, wondering how my words will take affect.

" Get lost." Tsukasa growls.

" Well….If you don't want to know about Kagami.." I mutter turning around. I avoid looking at Ayano's face. She's been disappointed with me lately.

"…Are you telling the truth?" She says. As if she fell for it. How precious her robot must be to her.

" I wouldn't lie about that…." I say quietly, enjoying the stares that are coming from around the room. Everybody is listening. That's, how much people want the soap opera to continue.

" Can you tell me then?" She says, her voice growing quieter.

" OK…..but…I'm not entirely sure if this…is true…" And the suspense just keeps growing. The whole room is holding it's breath.

" Just tell me, Misao." She snaps, desperate to find out the 'news' about Hiiragi.

" Well, I heard….nothing." I finish. Tsukasa stares at me blankly before pushing away her chair and slamming me against a wall. It all happened so quickly, I'm not entirely sure about how she got me against the wall. The room looks at us with excitement, and suddenly, we are encircled.

" Don't you dare." I say through gritted teeth, happy with the result I got from my little prank.

" Fight! Fight!" Chants the crowd, clearly enjoying the sudden reaction. Ayano and Miyuki try to push their way through the crowds, but the crowd is too busy to let anybody through.

" I would dare!" She shouts, using one of her hands to slap my face. I never would have expected Tsukasa to be much of a hitter. " I told you not to talk about her! I told you!"

I frown hoping the pain subside. I struggle and squirm - I might as well put on a show. And the punches keep coming. And I don't try to dodge. Tsukasa's digging herself a deep hole. Ha! her and her sister belong in a deep hole.

" Tsukasa Hiiragi!"

The crowd stops their chants as Nanako enters the room. And suddenly, it's just me, Tsukasa and a teacher. The crowd, has fled.

" Hiiragi, headmasters office, right now! I wouldn't expect that from you. And Misao, get yourself cleaned up. You may also be expected to go to the principal."

I have never seen Nanako be so strict. Tsukasa strides out of the room, still red in the face with anger. And even though the crowd has disappeared, there is still one face Ayano.

Miyuki follows her friend out of the room, probably trying to catch her up. And even though I try to change my thoughts, there is still the sad girl, staring at me, a few strands of hair falling near her eyes. I wish those strands would cover her eyes.

" Misao." She says, frowning. " You had to, didn't you? Maybe you don't realise how close Tsuaksa and Kagami were, but you had no right to do that. Tsukasa' probably beside herself in worry, and all you can do is taunt her? She could get suspended for that! I'm disappointed in you….Kasukabe"

I can't even remember the last time she used my last name. Why does she care? She stepped out of the room, leaving me with a classroom of staring people. And this time, I don't like the attention. Why the hell, do you care Ayano?


	39. Trouble

**Chapter 39**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I head to the headmasters office, feeling disappointed with myself. But, at the same time, I feel angry. Everyone seems to be angry. Everybody is feeling the strain. When one girl runs away, honestly, it's not that unusual. But when another leaves from the same town, it all gets a little hard to cope with. But this isn't a mystery. Miyuki and I, we both know why Konata left. And we're both hoping that she'll return.

I look over my shoulder to see Miyuki jogging up to me. She pushes up her glasses before beginning to walk by my side. We don't say anything, but it's nice to have her here with me. It's nice to not feel alone.

" Misao and Ayano are coming, by the way.." Miyuki says, breaking the silence. I acknowledge her comment but don't reply. I'd probably just start a rant of some kind. We reached the principal's office in silence, knocking on the door before Sir let us in. He looked at Miyuki and me strangely, wondering why we were here in the first place. As Misao and Ayano joined us, his expression changed, as if he had an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

"Now, girls," He began, giving each of us a stern glance. " what's happened?"

For a few seconds nobody answers. None of us know exactly how to explain the incident.

" There's been a…erm…misunderstanding!" Miyuki answers, slaying the silence around us. But, Miyuki's answer doesn't not really answer the principal's question.

" And what kind of misunderstanding was it, Miss Takara?" He asks, in an unpleasant kind of polite voice that made my body become tense.

Miyuki blushes. " I couldn't answer that, Sir." I guess Miyuki feels like she's betraying me if she tells him. Good old ,loyal Miyuki.

" Me and Tsukasa had a fight." Misao replies, her arms crossed across her chest. She's looking out of the window in that kind of I-don't-care attitude. She doesn't look cool at all.

" You two? What was it about." Sir questions, fiddling with his pen a little. He probably deals with this everyday - with some of the more rebellious students. I guess it does get boring after a while, hearing the same old story about how some kids got into a scuffle.

" I was just talking to her, right, and suddenly, she's hitting me!" Misao answers, pointing to her cheek. There's hardly a mark! Yes, I admit, it's a little red, but, really?

" That's not true!" I argue. She is not getting away with this one!

" Oh really, Hiiragi?" She questions. She's asking for me to hit her. That's just what she wants. For me to look bad.

" Misao….you know that you insulted Tsukasa greatly. She didn't just attack you." Ayano interrupts calmly. Both Misao and I stare at her in surprise. She's sticking up for me? That's not right. She's practically Misao's wife! Ayano stares right back at us, her gaze unflinching. Maybe her veiw on Misao has changed. But, I wouldn't know. Ayano has been so loyal to Misao, it's so strange to think of them ever fighting. Misao and Ayano are such a familiar pair now, it would be hard stop thinking of one without the other.

Sir stares at us. He's stopped clicking his pen. " Well, firstly, why don't you girls just apologize to each other?" he tells us sternly.A subtle hint telling us that our fight is stupid. It sounds stupid. I feel so childish. But, Misao deserved those hits. And I deserved to let loose a little. Like hitting a punching bag, I guess.

" Sorry, Misao." I mumble, glaring at her.

" An apology? She hit me!" She mutters, still staring at Ayano. I hate her, but that must have hurt. If Miyuki had done that to me - not that she ever would - I would have been hurt.

" Misao. Please apologize." the principal frowns, looking up from his pen.

" Apologize to her? But, Sir, I would like to make it clear that she started the fight. I haven't done anythign wrong." Misao persists. She's going to get us both into deep trouble.

" Misao!" I hiss bitterly. I've apologized, why can't she?

" Sir, I don't really think that balme can be passed on anyone. It was just a fight, Sir. Yes, Misao did say some...nasty things, and Tsukasa did hit her - but really, I think they could easily sort things out. Misao...i think you should apologize..." Ayano says, trying hard to get both Misao and I out of trouble. And she's telling the truth which is more than I can say for her friend.

" Who's side are you on Ayano!" Misao roars angrily.

" That's it! Both of you, are suspended, two days. I want to hear no more of this!From either of you! Your parents will be contacted. Now, leave my sight! Go home." Sir glares at us all - even poor Miyuki - pointing to the door.

I frown, leaving the room. Now, I've been suspended. And it's all because of her! I could strange the idiot. . All four of us walk out of the room, Ayano sticking near Miyuki, almost as if Miyuki is some kind of protection. Misao strides past me, a dull smirk on her face. That smirk is fake. I can tell.

" The girl who's sister became an android." She whispers before heading to her classroom. I scowl. That girl's got nerve.

" Liar!" I yell after her before slowing my pace as Ayano and Miyuki catch up to me. It's going to be a long walk home.


	40. Images

**Chapter 40**

**Konata**

* * *

I've been wandering around this town for a while. I'll be staying here for a few days at least - so I have to know where everything is. I've decided to go back to the station for a late lunch, knowing how many small shops a station can have. And how many people can work in these small shops. I begin to walk to the station, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach. I'm so nervous. I've been telling myself everyday that today was the day that I'd begin looking. But, in a way, I never really believed what I was telling myself. I guess I just though that I wasn't going to follow through. I've never followed through on anything else. In fact, it's pretty likely that if I even get into college, then I'll end up dropping out, or not meeting standards - but, that doesn't really matter. School is school. But, when I find Kagami, I promise I'll try harder. I know how much it annoys her.

So, I begin to stumble to the station, swerving around businessmen and women and teenagers - who look around my age - and younger children with their mothers. I don't know if it's rush hour or something, but it's busier than I remember. Then again, I went to a doll museum, it was hardly going to be busy.

But the worst thing is, I'm in a busy crowd, and I'm tiny. Worst part of being small. Even though I'm as old as most on the teenagers here, I'm about the size of the 12 years olds, wandering with their parents. I find myself bumping into people, hastily apologizing, and then continuing to walk. And that's how I get to my destination.

As soon as I enter the station, I'm a little confused. It's so busy out there, but not so busy in here…..Maybe the lunch time rush just ended? I think I might have become more observant because, honestly, I don't' care whether lunch time rush has just ended. Who does, except for people who work in café'?

But, even though it's less busy than outside, there still are clumps of people wandering around. I can't help but notice one particular girl, with dark violet hair tied in two long pigtails. I stand still, staring at the girl who seems to be rushing somewhere. I can't help but wander why she would wear a maid dress. She looks so much like Kagami….but a maid dress? That must be my imagination. She would never wear a maid dress. Even though, I fight my common sense and half walk half run after the girl. I push a person aside in desperation. Move, please move! They don't understand! It could be her! Her!

But, despite being a fast runner, my pace slows. Am I that desperate that I would imagine a fantasy girl? Yes. I probably would. She must be a mirage. And if she isn't, then she has already disappeared into a think clump of passer by's. If that girl really is Kagami, then I've lost my chance. But, she probably isn't. What are the chances of me finding her in the first place I go? Do I know her that well? Sometimes I wish that I had been more affectionate, shown her things that only I could show her. And once I find her, that's what I'll do. I'll show her sunsets and love and everything. Everything.

I turn the other way, fading into a knot of people before walking to the nearest café. And, trust me, there are plenty of café's. I stop at the closest, a small place ran by maid girls. Maid girls...? And, then, everything seems to make sense. That wasn't Kagami. Probably just one of the workers, ending they're shift. I wanted it to be her so much, I just imagined it. And, I probably chose the maid girl because I've gotten so used to playing games with my dad, and the types of girls in those games. Plus, I think I've always secretly wanted to see Kagami in a maid dress. Or in a Haruhi uniform.

I order, and wait. It doesn't look like there're a lot of customers at the moment. Including me, there seems to be about three. And one of them - a man, in about his thirties wearing a suit and glasses - seems to be leaving. So that leaves me, and another man, this time, an older man, with a receding hairline and a kind smile. He seems to be drawing - which doesn't surprise me.

Finally, my lunch arrives. I eat slowly, interested in the man drawing. He doesn't seem to be looking at any of the girls, just focusing on his work, bent over the table, a pen in his hand. I sip my coffee, peering over at the man. He suddenly looks up, and gestures for me to come over.

" I've just finished it!" he grins proudly, pointing to his sketchbook. " Want to look?"

I nod. I've been interested in what he's drawing since I saw him. I shuffle over, and look down at the sketchbook.

" I saw you looking over, and I've just finished it. The inking anyway. Just needs a splash of colour, is all." he smiles. And, I have to admit, his drawing is very good...And...oh gosh...

A girl, carrying a tray, slightly bent over, her long pigtails swaying by her side. It looks like she's going to trip and drop the tray, looking over shoulder. I can almost feel how embarrassed the girl is. It looks just like Kagami!

" I'm gonna blush the face, give this girl a name, and who knows, I might be paid to draw!" the man continues, seeing my reaction to his work. " What do you think?"

" I think it's very good, mister…..reminds me of a girl I know….." I whisper, my eyes fixed on the picture. I place my coffee on the table and walk over to the maid girls who are crowded around a table.

" Excuse me, does somebody called Kagami work here?" I ask gently, still a little surprised. They mutter amongst themselves for a moment before shaking their heads.

" Nope!"

" Never heard of her."

" Sorry, I don't think so..."

" No, Kagami's here!"

I sigh. " Are you sure? I mean... on the picture...the girl...I thought..." This is all so confusing. The picture, it looked just like Kagami. Suddenly, an older girl stands up.

" What picture?" she asks, looking a little confused. I lead her older to the man, who shows her the image. She chuckles to herself.

" Simple mistake...that's _Kasumi_, I'm Haruka by the way." she comments, smiling at me.

" Kasumi...?"

" Uh-huh. She works here and then runs to her other job." the girl called Haruka adds, nodding thoughfuly.

" You wouldn't be able to tell me where she works would you?" i ask, trying hard to keep the desperation out of my voice.

" Sure. The cosplay cafe' on the other side of the station. Honestly, you won't miss it."

" Thank you!" I call rushing out the door. Could this be the next step to finding my Kagamin!

* * *

AN: I know, this one took a long time to come out, but, on the bright side, I think this story is past 50,000 words now! And over 80 reviews! ;D Thank you guys.


	41. Konata?

**Chapter 41**

**Kagami**

* * *

I tap my fingers impatiently on the table, waiting for some more customers. It should be a little busier around the time.

" Hey, Kasumi, what's up?" one of my colleagues call, wiping the serving counter with a wet cloth.

" Nothing, I'm just thoughtful." I reply smoothly, thinking about Konata. That's why I'm so deep in thought. I miss her. And even though I often find myself repeating the fact that I miss her, I can't get her off my mind.

" I'm not surprised." the girl replies, smiling warmly at me. " Your always thoughtful."

I shrug in reply. Am I always thoughtful? Ha, I guess I've never 'thought' about it. OK, that joke wasn't great. But then again, it least I didn't actually say it out loud. Then I would have looked like even more of a loser.

" When do you think we're going to get some business…?" I ask, trying to make conversation with some of the girls. It's better than sitting in silence.

" I dunno, this place will probably be dead for a while…" one girl replies quickly.

" But you could always wait outside, you know, try and attract some business?" another suggests, staring at me.

" Why me?"

" It was your idea." she points out. " And you're the one who's desperate to get business."

I sigh, as the group of girls nod in agreement.

" Plus, you're the most popular character!" She winks, laughing. Ha-ha, very funny.

I stand up anyway. " Fine, fine. But when you get your pay cheque, you can thank me!" I say huffily. My comment is answered by a loud, ' Oooohhhh.' I can't stop myself from smiling as I walk out of the door. Those girls are ridiculous.

So, I stand outside the café', shouting out a few advertisements for the place. And, some people actually take notice. Which surprises me. Even though, they're probably just looking at what I'm wearing. Which probably does look pretty stupid.

I blush as I realise a few of the girls are actually watching me from inside the café. I mouth a few comments to them, but they just giggle and continue to watch. So, instead of focusing on them, I focus on the crowds of busy people, who bustle past me. Some stop, and glance at me, while others just continue with their lives. A man, a woman, a child, a couple…..I begin to register who's walking past. Their looks, what they're doing. Another man, another woman, another child….. A pattern is beginning to emerge And suddenly, one person breaks the pattern…..A small blue haired girl who,…No way. That's stupid. Just stupid. I close my eyes, before looking again. But the blue haired girl is still walking, unaware of me, staring at her. And suddenly, I'm shouting, despite my common sense.

" Konata!" I yell desperately. " Konata!"

A few passing people stare at me, giving me a few odd looks. I turn around to see the girls in the café' looking at me - and each other - with blank faces. Oh no…I've gone to far. I've just completely embarrassed myself. It wasn't her. It couldn't have been her. Did I just do that? Did I really? I'm just waiting for myself to wake up, sweating in my bed. And even though it cliché', I pinch myself. I actually pinch myself, still expecting myself to wake up. But I fell my hard nails digging into my skin. I take a deep breath, walking back into the café'. People are still staring.

I walk in, and immediately sit down. The girls rush over to me, asking many questions.

" What happened?"

" Who's Konata?"

" Why did you do that Kasumi?"

" Are you OK?"

I nod weakly. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This is all stupid. That wasn't Konata. It couldn't have been. I feel dizzy and embarrassed and…I hate to say this, but, stupid. I rub my head sadly, wanting to get away from work. I wish I'd never died. Well, I never though I'd say that in my lifetime. If I hadn't died, then everything would be fine. I wouldn't be a freak. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have to have this stupid no body, and stupid new body, and _stupid _new fake name. And everything would be OK. It would be fine. I wouldn't be a robot - I would still be normal.

" Kasumi….You look ill…."

" I'm fine." I mutter. We all stand - or sit in my case - in silence for a few seconds.

" Did you hear that?" a girl asks, looking out of the window.

" What?" another asks.

" I heard someone shout something…" she mumbles.

" What did they say?" I ask, a little curious.

" I think they said Kagami….maybe..?" she answers doubtfully.

" They said….Kagami?" I say, my curiosity increasing.

She nods. " I think so."

And suddenly, I'm up off my chair.

" Kasumi, what are you doing!"

I don't answer. I'm out of the café' and staring at the crowd. Did somebody call my name? Could it have been her? And then, on the other side of a busy crowd, there she is. Staring at me, with a small smile on her face. And this time, I'm sure she's not a piece of fantasy. No.

" Konata! Konata!" I yell, ignoring the girls and the crowd and just everything. I keep focused on her. Her and her only. I push through the crowd desperately, ignoring the people who complain about my rude gestures of pushing through the bulk of the people. I stop suddenly, as I reach the other side of the crowd. There she is. I can see her breathing. I can see the small sparkle in her eyes. Oh God, I'd forgotten how magical it was to just see her. We rush over to each other, embracing each other tightly. And I don't ever want to let go. I just want to stay here for ever, feeling her breath on my clothes, feeling her arms wrapped around my back, just having her here.

" Kagami, your crying." she whispers gently. I nod in response. I am. But I don't care. |I've got the right to cry. I've missed her so much.

" I missed you Kagami." she tells me, in the same gentle tone. " I've missed you very much."

" I missed you too Konata….I haven't stopped thinking about you and I've just wanted to see you, and here you are!" I tell her. And, I realize, that at this point in time, I feel like the less mature one, the one who goofs around. And Konata feels like the one who I rely on, my anchor, who without, I would fall apart.

We break apart, slowly. I wipe my eyes, realise just how much I have missed her. Oh, Konata. Don't ever leave me.

I get the rest of the day off work, everybody probably thinks I'm ill. Or crazy. I take Konata back to my room, grabbing her hand tightly and not letting her go. As soon as we enter my room, I immediately make her a drink and sit her on the bed. I quickly join her, sitting as close as possible.

" Kagami, I-" she stops as I push a drink into her hands. " How have you been?" She sips the hot drink carefully. I hope she doesn't burn her tongue.

" Fine, Konata, fine. I want to hear about you!" I beg. It's nice to hear her voice again.

" Everybody's fine. I'm great - especially now that I'm with you. I'm not too sure about how your family's getting on, but people are missing you Kagami. People want you back home." she answers. I feel my heart drop at the mention of family. Mum, dad, Inori, Matsuri and Tsukasa...Tsukasa is the most important though. She's my twin. And, even though I used to complain about how I never had any time apart from her, now that we are separated, I feel lonely without her. Not even Konata can replace my sister.

" Is Tsukasa OK?" I whisper soflty, clutching Konata's hand.

" She's worried about you, Kagami..."

I kiss Konata softly on the lips, for no reason. Stress release, maybe? But, it doesn't matter why I kissed her. It matters that she kisses me back, with the same gentle movements.

" Never leave me again, Kagami."

And with that, we continue to kiss, happy to be reunited.


	42. Rage

**Chapter 42**

**Misao**

* * *

Screw that. School. Who needs it? Not me! I walk home slowly, wishing I had some form of meatball. But, that's not going to happen, is it? I wish. Plus, if I think that walking home is fun, then I better wait till I get home. A session of shouting is to be expected. I doubt Dad will be too bothered - he never is - but Mum on the other hand, will probably get pretty angry. I can't blame her. She must be pretty confused. Just a fortnight ago, I was a good student; I handed in my homework, I studied - to an extent - and I didn't cause much trouble. Fine, my grade weren'y exceptional. Yes, OK, occasionally, I chewed gum in class, or passed notes, but who doesn't do that kind of thing? It's natural.

But, oh well. Eventually, she'll get over it. So will Grandma, and Grandpa, and I doubt my brother will be too annoyed. Disappointed, maybe, but he has always been there for me. Maybe he felt like he had to step in when Dad didn't take an interest. But, why do I care?

I always knew Konata would cause me trouble - just for the record. Then again, it's hard to believe that I ever wanted to hang around 'it.' Kagami. The thought makes me feel sick. And dirty. She's not human. Not even near human anymore.

I have to stop myself from gasping as I feel a hand on my shoulder. " Wha-!" I turn around quickly, only to see Ayano, a little red from running.

" Misao…" she pauses, catching her breath. " I didn't think I would catch you."

For all I care she can go and catch Kagami and the little midget. She defended Tsukasa and not me. You wouldn't think we had known each other since childhood.

" Go catch yourself. I have to get home. How did you even get out of school?" I ask coldly, hiding my curiosity.

" They needed me to give you this.." she says, handing me a pink slip with my name on. I read it quickly and from. Your daughter has been suspended from school….. " I've got the rest of the day off, somebody said I looked pale, and lets just say I took it from there."

She chuckles to herself, but my frown remains. She can't just make it up to me like.

" Hm." I say absently, beginning to walk again. But once again. Ayano catches up to me, as if we're best friends. Ayano has never been slow. Doesn't she realize that she's upset me? Betrayed me?

" Misao what's wrong? Don't tell me you've caught my ' flu'?" she jokes, smiling at me brightly.

I stop suddenly. She really doesn't get it, does she?

" Ayano, why defend a robot, rather than a human?" I demand, glaring at the pavement. I'm glad that it's just us on the pavement.

" Misao, is this what's upsetting you?"

I've got a feeling that Ayano is going to fly into one of her tempers. Not many people realise that Ayano has a temper on her, but when she gets angry, you know about it. She's only ever really got annoyed with me twice. But, if its happened twice before, why shouldn't she get angry with me once more.

" Nothing gets past you, Sherlock." I mumble sarcastically.

" Misao, I " she pauses, her blue eyes darkening slightly. " Both you and Tsukasa were in the wrong back there…." she trails off, looking into my eyes. I don't look back.

" Then why defend her!" I yell bitterly.

" Because she's going through a hard time at the moment." Ayano mumbles, looking away.

" Sister of an android! She doesn't deserve your pity!" I yelp angrily. What does Ayano even see in Tsukasa? A poor, lonely girl in need of help? I just see a girl with a metal sister.

" Misao, this isn't fair!" Ayano tells me firmly. " Kagami is not a robot. She is a human being, just like yourself. And how do you think Tsukasa feels! Your driving everybody away from yourself with your horrible opinions. Misao, please. Just try to think about this in a more open way."

" If your too open, your brains will fall out. Oh, wait, they already have." I say flatly. " Your way of thinking, is shit. Complete crap. Get it together Ayano. The Hiiragi we knew is dead. Her parents replaced her with a freaking robot! How can you say that's not wrong? It's horrible wrong. They probably had her pumped up with all kind of shit. Drugs and chemicals! Why can't you see that Ayano? It's right in front of your eyes!"

I end my angry rant and look straight into her eyes. She doesn't say anything, just looks at me, her face set in disappointment.

" I-….." she trails off and looks at the floor. We've never had an argument before. This is...different. " Misao...I..."

Her lip quivers and her eyes begin to water. She looks up at me, and I stare right back with an angry glare to out her in her place.

" I didn't realize that you and Tsukasa were both the same. Airheads who have no brains." I snap. I've pulled the final straw. Ayano begins to cry, sniffing a little.

" I didn't realise you were like this Misao. A big bully!" she whispers, just loud enough to hear, before turning and walking away, wiping her eyes.

* * *

AN: I do try to reply to all reviews, but if I don't have your username, I can't answer your questions :)


	43. Answers

**Chapter 43**

**Tsukasa**

* * *

I'm nearly at my house. Yay. Kuroi has probably called home by now, so I'm expecting so form of punishment. Even if a certain moody sister can get away with everything. I can't believe dad hasn't told her to get lost and go back to college yet. All she does is mope around the house. At least Inori keeps herself busy.

Stumbling down one last road, I kick a stone, watching it roll a little before coming to a stop. I continue kicking it, until I reach my house. I stop for a moment, looking up into they sky, like a silent prayer of some sort. I wish. Who's going to help me?

I enter my house quietly, slipping off my shoes, before looking around. I take a step forward, before taking a step backwards. Counting the pairs of shoes, I realize Dad's in. Oh great. Kuroi definitely called. I have the sudden urge to take my fathers shoes and fling them somewhere. Or burn them. But, would that really make me feel any better? Maybe it would. Maybe I should buy a punching bag, Or a stress ball! Yeah…..a stress ball…..that would be nice. I guess.

I step into the living room, and sigh. There he is. Slumped on the couch, he doesn't look to happy. He's had to leave his pride and joy - the shrine. Sometimes I think he values the shrine more than anything. More than Mum and Inori and even Kagami. Surely, he can't love his shrine more than his family. Sometimes, I tell myself that before I go to sleep. Eventually, I might believe it.

" Ah…Tsukasa." he says, noticing me looking at him, pressed close to the wall. I was trying to stay unnoticed as long as possible. " I'll go get your mother. We'll meet you in your room, OK?"

He stands, leaving the room, brushing past me. I go to my bedroom slowly. Why my bedroom? Is that supposed to make me feel comfortable?

I sit on my bed, my arms hugging my knees. Resting my chin on my knees, I wait for my parents. A few minutes roll by - even though these minutes feel like hours - and eventually my parents join me in my bedroom. Mum on my left side, dad on my right. I don't dare look at them, just stare straight forward, looking at nothing in particular.

Everybody seems reluctant to talk; I'm not surprised. But eventually mum succumbs and starts the conversation off.

" Tsukasa…" she doesn't know what to say, but she's trying. I'm waiting for some shouting honestly. Dad seems to have contained his anger so far, but I'm waiting for one of my parents to begin telling me forcefully why what I have done is wrong. " We're not mad…."

She must have noticed something. Something that has told her that I'm expecting her to shout. Is it that way I'm sitting? Or is it the way I'm not looking at either of them in the eye? I'm no expert on body language, so I won't pretend that I am. But something has given me away.

But now, I have to reply. This will be difficult. I can either pretend that I'm not bothered at all, just angry. Or I can go for something that shows that I am bothered. That I am worried about how they'll react.

" Don't lie. I've just been suspended. Of course you're mad." and even though my words seem so angry and aggressive, I say them so quietly, that they lose their effect. I continue to look straight ahead, refusing to look at them.

" We're not lying, Tsukasa." this time dad's the one who takes hold of the conversation. This conversation is a little like a bull, whoever leads it, has the most power. This is my chance. Time to take the bull by the horns.

" You're always lying. I'm too stupid to understand, aren't I? So you lie to me, and let the 'adults ' do the talking. Maybe you two should reconsider your tactics. You lied to me about Kagami enough times haven't you? She's my twin, but yet, you don't bother to think, ' Well, maybe, we should tell Tsukasa what's happening, just so she knows her sister's safe.' No. Instead you fall out with my two sisters Idiot and Even-Bigger-Idiot. I've learnt more from Matsuri than from you two! I knew Kagami was going to die. And, I know about that little deal you both made. " I snarl bitterly, letting my right cheek fall on my knees.

Mum and Dad both look a little surprised. I'm not surprised that they're surprised. Even though I just called Inori and Matsuri idiots, everybody knows that I'm supposed to be the stupid one. I'm not supposed to know about things. I'm just supposed to smile and nod, cook and clean and not get into trouble. Well I'm tired of it. My parents need to begin to realise that I'm not as stupid as they think.

" Tsukasa…..We promise we won't lie anymore…" this time mum answers. She leans forward slightly, giving me a small smile and brushing a small piece of hair out of my face. I ignore her. Smiling isn't going to fix anything.

" Well, I hope you can live up to that statement." I answer coldly.

" We promise." dad answers. Do I belive him? Hm...That's hard to answer. " How much do you know already?"

" I know that Matsuri started the fire. I know that that man from the medical research place has been keeping a ' close eye' on us all. I know that they've done something to Kagami...But, what have they done exactly?"

My mother looks at the floor thoughfully. " I didn't realise how much you knew..." she says, half to herself. I can tell she's surprised. She keeps playing with her fingers and rubbing her legs - she's keeping her hands busy, like she does when she's nervous.

" We think there may be some kind of sensor in Kagami's body. Maybe even a mic or a camera. We can't really be sure." dad tells me. A camera? I can't help but think how disgusting that would be. Especially the photos!

" But trust me, there's a lot more I want to know. Like why you haven't gone after Kagami? And who was that man from the medical research place?" I can't help but add. " And why, exactly, do you put up with Matsuri!"

There's a small hesitation before I get my answers.

" We can't look for Kagami...That was in the contract..." mum admits sadly, her voice becoming slightly quieter.

Dad quickly takes over. " The man from the medical research place? I'm sorry to say this, but I don't know. We just know that he offered to help our daughter, and we took the chance."

" And we put up with Matsuri because we don't know what will happen if we let her go. You know how unpredictable she is. Plus, she's a little unstable at the momment." mum defends Matsuri. Making excuses. But, I'm not going to be the one who argues with her judgment. I'll leave that to Inori.

" So, why did you sign the contract if you knew nothing about the man? That contract was unreasonable." I say, asking another question.

" Because we wanted our little girl back..." mum says, standing up and leaving the room. I glance at dad, wondering if I've done something wrong.

" No more lies." He says, standing up and ruffling my hair. I smile weakly. I guess I've gotten what I wanted after all.


	44. Knife

**Chapter 44**

**Matsuri**

* * *

So, it seems that today's topic for discussion is…Lies! I can't believe Tsukasa is lapping this up. She's obviously putting at least a little trust in the care of our parents, which is not very good at all! How the hell can she trust them? As she said, they've lied to us enough already.

Yes, I was eavesdropping the whole thing. Until, Miki left the room. Then, I quickly rushed into the bathroom and locked the door until I heard her pass. So, I'm deceitful. Everybody is now. Especially women. Yeah, I notice stupid things like that.

I begin to walk down the corridor, heading back to my own room. I see Inori walking down the corridor, coming towards me, most probably heading for the bathroom. We 'accidentally' shoulder into each other, but neither of us react. She doesn't want to start an argument, and I don't want to talk to her. That works. I don't talk to anybody when possible. Not because I'm always antisocial, I do have reasons. I don't talk to dad because whenever I do I can tell he's disappointed. I don't talk to mum because she desperately tries to help me, but it doesn't work. I don't talk to Inori because she blames me for everything and we don't even like each other any more. And finally, I don't talk to Tsukasa because whenever I do try to help her, she does something stupid like this. She trust our parents now. But, then again, who should I care? It feels like every man for himself in this house now anyway.

I open my bedroom door before quickly closing it. Collapsing on my bed, I sigh. I'm already missing the pins. Pins. Inanimate objects. But yet, I miss them. That's certainly something to think about. Is it the pins I miss, or is it the pain? Yeah. It's the pain. And, call me pessimistic, but, I'm beginning to wonder if this is all worth it. Because really, what does life have for me? What does it mean to me at the moment. Sadly enough, I can't think of an was the last time I felt happy. Really happy. Normal happy. As in, not being happy when I've hurt myself.

You see, normal people would say, ' Oh my life is my friends!' or , ' My life is my family and education!' Well obviously, my life is not my family or my education. And my friends honestly aren't worth it. Yes, they were fun to hand around with - when I did chat to them - but they're just not….enough. Why can't I think about normal things like...boys. I used to love boys. But now I'm just so...me. And that sucks.

I put a CD into the player, turning the music on loud. I even decide to sing along to the lyrics. Very quietly though.

_I'd apologize,_

_If I could,_

_If you'd let me,_

_But even if I do,_

_Show remorse,_

_Will breathing become easier?_

_Because I would say sorry, but you're already gone._

_And the day's aint' comin' any easier._

_It's so tragic._

_How will I say my goodbyes?_

I stop there, not wanting to embarrass myself any more. Inori might be able to hear. You can never be sure about how loud you're actually being. I sit quietly, letting the music wash over me. I'm not really paying much attention to the singer anymore. Just me, myself and my thoughts. What a great life.

I suddenly snap out of my half-listening state and come into full awareness as I hear a knock on my door. I blink a few times, as if getting used to this new awareness. I don't answer, just continue to listen.

_So goodbye life, and goodbye world._

_Maybe I'll see you again._

_But for now, I'm waiting at the gates of hell._

I shiver a little, thinking about the lyrics properly. Assessing them. Obviously the whole song Is about suicide….I shiver again. Suicide. It sounds so ugly. Like a forbidden word that you're not supposed to say. That society says you're not supposed to say. I wouldn't call myself open minded, but I wouldn't say suicide is wrong. Of course, there's always that person who thinks suicide is cowardly, no matter what. But, no…it's not. Every suicide is individual. Another person who had had enough. One more person who didn't think it was worth it….I look down at the floor, feeling ashamed for no reason. You know, sometimes I wonder, ' If I don't understand my feelings, when will I find somebody who will?' And then, one things lead to another, and I debate with myself the concepts of love and trust. Most of the time, I come to the conclusions - Love is a fairytale, complete trust in someone is impossible. I haven't had any evidence to prove otherwise.

I feel a little sick. All I'm thinking of is suicide. And whenever I think about it, there's no reasons why I shouldn't. Nobody stopping me. Nobody cares. Why should they care? I'm Matsuri. I'm not exactly needed, and won't exactly be missed. Yes, Matsuri, the part of the family that doesn't fit.

And for once, I feel right, with no objections.

" Matsuri? Are you in there?" I hear Miki ask from the other side of the door. Oh God. Even if I don't answer, she'll come and snoop around my room.

And then she could find it.

She opens the door any response from me, and our eyes meet. I quickly look away, looking down at my bed. She closes the door gently before sitting down on ym bed. She's not exactly frowing, but it's definitly not smiling either. And, all she has to do...is look in my drawers. That would certainly make her frown. She must've realized that it's missing by now. I just stole it from the kitchen and put it in my drawers.

" Matsuri, what's wrong...?" she must've noticed my body tense. Or my shifty eyes.

" Nothing...Nothing..." I mutter. If she asks about the knife that's gone missing from the kitchen then I'm screwed.

Matsuri. When you start cutting yourself it's a little obvious that something's not right." she says flatly, looking at me sternly.

"Miki, I promise I've stopped." I'm telling the truth as well. Just because I have a knife stored in one of my drawers doesn't actually mean I've used it. Which I haven't.

"Yes, but what caused you to do it in the first place!" she asks me, desperately trying to figure out my problems.

"I-I was just upset about Kagami." I admit reluctantly. Maybe she'll leave me alone now. I've told her the truth. That's all I can do at the moment.

"But you weren't talking to her. Matsuri, you've got to understand that she didn't die!"

"Don't you dare say that! She died. All of you are believing lies." I tell her angrily. My sister died. Nobody except me seems to understand that. I stand up and lean on my drawers. She can't get in them that way.

"Matsuri." She says standing up. If she hugs me now, I swear, she will regret it. "You saw her, around the house, going to school. You can't just say that she was an apparition."

"That wasn't Kagami. That was….I don't even know. Your doing Kagami a large injustice by saying that monster was her!" I fold my arms across my chest, feeling uncomfortable. All the memories are coming back. It's as if I'm living that day all over again. I can see the fire, smell it, it's as I can feel the heat on the back of my neck. I'm so sure that I saw her get up and leave. To safety. Or I am kidding myself?

Miki walks over and strokes my hair gently. We're the same height now. I hadn't even noticed.

"Matsuri…." She whispers, looking concerned. Why the hell should she be concerned about me? I'm a lost cause. Why doesn't she go sort things out with Inori or talk to Tadao? Miki doesn't seem to be on good terms with anybody at the momment.

I rub my hands up and down my face. I can't cry now. I've made strong walls around my emotions and feelings, Miki can't just break them down. I feel so disappointed and angry with myself as I feel my eyes water. I can't get the fire out of my mind. Was that a scream I heard? Or was that my imagination? I'm so sure that Kagami left the room. Or is that just my version? I'm so sure that I saw her head rise, as if she were getting up. I just wish that I could make up for her. And by hurting myself, I felt as if I was atoning, for Kagami. For God's sake, why do I have to cry. I want to slap myself, maybe that would make me bite my tongue and stop the tears. Kagami, why did you have to go and die?

"Matsuri…..Don't cry! Please, don't cry." She pleads, as if she's talking to a toddler. I think she's just as surprised as I am by the sudden flow of tears. I press my hands harder against my face. Stupid, stupid girl! What would Kagami say, if she saw me crying. Would she laugh, I wonder. The knife in my drawers suddenly seems all the more tempting.

"Matsuri, what's the matter?" Miki asks, cautiously coming closer to me, close enough for an embrace I take my hands away from my face, still in tears, and sit down on the bed, feeling as if all my energy had just been drained from me.

"Go make it up with Inori." I whisper, looking down at my trembling hands. It would be better for me to spend some time alone. I'm on the verge of suicide, but I'm not there yet. Suicide is such an ugly word. But it could be the best way to repay Kagami. It's as if I'm taking vengance on her killer. Or, almost killer. But, I need to think this over carefully, make sure I'm making the right decision, even though I'm almost certain that it would be the best thing to do.

"Matsuri." She crouches down and looks up at me, taking hold of my trembling hands. " Are you sure your alright?"

I nod silently. I just want to be alone.


	45. Minegishi

**Chapter 45**

**Miyuki**

* * *

School felt…lonely without Tsukasa. Even though there were only a few lessons left, I couldn't keep my mind off my missing companion. And even though a couple of people asked me for help, I was waiting for Tsukasa to come by, looking nervous and embarrassed with a textbook held tightly in her hand, and say, ' Miyuki….will you help me with this problem please?'

I still took notes for her. Obviously, for my benefit as well, but I copied a set of simpler, neater ones that I hoped she could use. I'll be doing that for every lesson I have now. That's what a good friend would do.

I walk home quietly, wishing that Konata was here to ask me some kind of pointless question. So that I could give an equally pointless answer. I even miss her and Kagami's squabbles, even though I used to get horribly embarrassed when they used to fight in the middle of the street. It feels like we've all separated, even though, of course we haven't. Not really. So, Konata's gone to find Kagami. I hope they've been reunited. I wonder how Kagami will react when she comes home. It seems that everything has changed in so little time. Will Tsukasa just magically change into the girl she used to be? Will Misao suddenly forget about all the anger that's been lurking inside of her? Will people ever look at Kagami in the same way? I sigh, carrying my school bag, heavy with books. I even miss Konata's constant rude comments. And that's a big thing for me. I always though that was Konata's biggest flaw. She never knows when to shut up.

I'm nearing the train station now. The streets seem quieter than usual. A lot quieter actually. Oh well. Quiet is good. I notice a figure running towards me. Not running to come up to me, just ready to run past me. Whoever the person is, they look distressed. They've definitely caught my interest. The person comes closer and closer. And as the figure runs past, I realise something. Long ginger hair pulled back in a headband - even though many strands of hair have come loose. Big blue eyes. As they run past me, I stop. My head turns. Ayano?

Running has been a large embarrassment ever since Konata pointed out my… um…large breasts. It takes a Herculean effort to forget about the fact and focus completely on Ayano. I begin to run - and let me say, I thank God that the streets are quiet - slowly catching up with my classmate. I don't think she's noticed me yet. But, I'm catching up with her now. She's getting slower, as I begin to run faster. She has slowed into a jog, while I have ran into a sprint. I catch up enough to place my hand on her shoulder and yank her back as gently as possible.

Her eyes widen. She probably thinks she's being mugged. I smile at her as she recognises my long cherry blossom pink hair, and my glasses. I adjust my glasses as they had been knocked askew slightly.

"Takara-chan….what are you doing?" she asks, breathing heavily. I notice that her eyes are surrounded by blotchy red skin, from crying probably.

"I was wondering why you were looking so upset." I say gently, leading her to a nearby café'. " I'll pay for your drink." I say, pointing at the cold drinks.

" I…..are you sure? I mean. it's nice of you but…are you sure?" she asks, looking a little nervous. I can understand. We're not exactly friends. More like acquaintances. I nod in reply.

"Now, what do you want?"

After we have ordered, we sit down. I notice that Ayano chose the cheapest drink on offer. "Minegishi-chan, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, Takara-chan." she replies, twirling the straw in her drink.

"Really, Minegishi-chan?" I ask quietly, my eyes meeting hers. She quickly glances at the floor, looking uneasy. I keep my face locked into a calm smile, a welcoming smile, ready for her problems.

She looks up at me, and frowns a little. "I ran into Misao…." Ah. Misao. The memories from the principals office flood my mind. Of course, in Misao's mind, Ayano abandoned her. She took somebody else's side. And in Misao's mind, that, is obvious betrayal. Maybe what Ayano did is betrayal.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice clam on the outside, but my brain assessing the situation thoroughly on the inside. Ayano, sipped her drink before answering.

"She hates me.." she said, looking shaken by the fact. I'm not surprised. Those two are always together. Like a married couple. Jeez, if Misao was a man, those two probably would end up married.

"Hey, cheer up." I insist, touching her arm gently. "Ayano, you know she's wrong. She's being a bully. Everybody knows that you're not a bully.." I say, speaking more casually than usual. I have a feeling that if I speak formally, it will scare her off a little.

"Thank you, Takara-chan." she says, looking at the floor. She really is upset. Even though Misao doesn't deserve to have such a nice friend. I hate to say it, but I've never been fond of Misao. People say that's she similar to Konata, but, in my opinion, she's far from it. Yes, they're both lazy, but there's something about Misao. Or am I just saying this to defend a friend?

"It's fine. Really, Ayano. " I smile, knowing that she's beginning to relax.

"I…..thank you Yuki-san." she smiles a little, before taking out her headband and rearranging her hair. I've never seen Ayano without a headband before, and let me tell you, she looks lovely.

"Why don't you wear your hair without a headband? You look nice." I suggest, watching her scrape her hair back.

"Misao didn't like it that way." she says, her eyes meeting mine. I can't help but wonder how much control Misao's had on her life. If Ayano had never met Misao, would she be more confident? Would she wear her hair without a headband? Would she like different bands, or different clothes or even different people? I have a feeling that these questions are going to annoy me all night. I'll stay up all night, trying to answer these questions.

"Yuki-san! You've missed your train!" Ayano exclaims, glancing at her watch.

"Call me Miyuki. And, I guess, you've missed yours." I giggle covering my mouth with one of my hands. Ayano also begins to laugh along with me. It's not even that funny. All we've done is missed a train.

* * *

AN: I'm very sorry about the delay for this chapter! Really, I'm more popular than I thought! No, I'm just kidding, I have been busy, and hopefully the next chapter will be out soon. Thank you for reading :D


End file.
